(NWR) How do you handle your finances as a couple?

kitty8403

CLI242009 said:

kitty8403 said:

CLI242009 said:

We have all our accounts joined. We don't pay each other back or anything like that but when either of us like to make a big purchase we talk about it. 

If I wanted to say buy a new video game or some new clothes. He would be okay with that as long as we didn't have any bills coming up to pay & that also he can go out and buy something nice for himself too. No arguments about it and we're fine. 

All our debt is almost paid off since we combined our accounts. We share everything, nothing is separate. If we're planning to be together forever & share our life together, than we believe that every aspect of your life should be joined together. Nothing separate. We believe if you're thinking about important decisions separately instead of as a joined unit, then there's something wrong. 

This is just what we believe, if couples who do, do this and it works for you, then that's fine with us. Just for us that's what we believe about our relationship and how to handle things.  

:-) I think it comes down to communication. If it's a routine purchase, we don't see the need to ask permission, but we do discuss big-ticket stuff.

Oh no I didn't mean we asked permission to each other, just that we spoke about what we do with our finances o.O I didn't mean it like that at all if that's how some took it! lol 

I also agree with you kitty, communication is the key. Like I said, this is what FI and I believe, what all of you gals are doing with your guys is what works for you. To each their own ^_^ 

No worries! :-) it's a little bit different for us since we are self-employed and I just switched over from being full-time outside the home to concentrating on the business. I'm not sure if we'll have to change anything down the road, but for now I keep track of a few personal bills and some household expenses, report my own income and pay my own taxes. I know what he spends but if a major purchase or bill is coming, we do talk about those up front. Regular back and forth over a hundred bucks here and there wouldn't work for us the way it should for a couple where both have traditional jobs, but we spend a lot of time talking repairs, expansions, employment, taxes, and major purchases.

golden1215

all money combined and handled by me (bills etc).

emmyg65

We combined all our money into a joint checking and savings account, and we each get a small "allowance" of fun money from that that we keep in individual checking accounts. This way, we can each buy stuff without asking permission and buy presents and stuff. I manage the finances. We have a set budget for each month for rent, groceries, dates, etc. We discuss large purchases outside this together.

We also put ourselves on a debt plan to pay down our credit cards. Although this debt was largely acquired individually, it affects us both now, so we throw all our disposable income at it. We should be debt-free in six months!

As far as retirement, we each participate in our company's plans, but he contributes a lot to his because he's much older than me and got a late start. 

So basically, in everything (income, spending, debt, investments), we operate together and do what's best for us as a couple. It involves a lot of trust, but it's important to us philosophically. Also, it's just way easier than keeping track of who's paying for what, etc. It certainly doesn't work for everyone, but we like it.

thejucheidea

85% of my income and everything but $200 of his income per paycheck goes into our joint account at a credit union. The other 15% of my income and his $200 go into our personal accounts at our personal banks (mine a local bank with two branches, his BoA). I move several hundred dollars a month into our savings.

CLI242009

Jells2dot0 said:

CLI242009 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Our finances are completely separate. We do not have joint accounts for anything other than our primary residence. We decided a long time ago that since we have similar salaries and savings habits, we'd keep things the way they are. We split our bills/expenditures based on our incomes and priorities. It's almost 50/50. He has children, so I do not contribute towards that unless I want. I spend my discretionary funds on travel. I am in charge of daily stuff like groceries and whatnot. He pays the utilities. It will really vary widely by circumstances and the couple, IMHO.

In the case my FI had children, in the beginning I would agree with doing that. It all depends on the situation but I can see why people do not join accounts, especially for that reason. 

Although, does it matter? Doesn't the government see it as total income when you are married, even if you do have separate accounts? If someone was paying child support, then got married, the new spouse's income gets put into his TOTAL amount of income. Right? Sorry off track, just a thought that came into my head. 

Not for child support. The support is determined by the biological parent's income only.

It actually varies by State. Where I live, it is not a factor. However, my DH's kids are now adults. So, when we got married, he only had 4 months of support remaining. He does pay college costs, though. We will be filing taxes as a married couple and we did not choose the keep separate accounts for that reason. I imagine we'll owe taxes this year and we'll split the payment. If we for some reason we get a refund, we'll split it. We have an accountant that will figure all of that out, though!

I did not know this. I'm originally from CA and unless I heard wrong, I do remember some of my gal pals not wanting to marry their guys because once they got married they would have to start contributing to the guy's child. *shrugs* Again I could be wrong....but it's nice to know that in some states the new spouse does not have to contribute if he/she does not wish to. That sounds horrible...just saying it's nice to have a choice in the matter. 

EverAfer

Joint savings and checking.  Even shared credit cards now.  It feels weird sometime because you don't just get to say yes to more expensive stuff without having a conversation.  Since our accounts were merge, we talk about our finances, what we are saving money for and how much should we be saving. We're both more aware of when we're spending money (we used to be more frivolous) on and this has been good for both of us.

Doesntplaynice82

CLI242009 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

CLI242009 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Our finances are completely separate. We do not have joint accounts for anything other than our primary residence. We decided a long time ago that since we have similar salaries and savings habits, we'd keep things the way they are. We split our bills/expenditures based on our incomes and priorities. It's almost 50/50. He has children, so I do not contribute towards that unless I want. I spend my discretionary funds on travel. I am in charge of daily stuff like groceries and whatnot. He pays the utilities. It will really vary widely by circumstances and the couple, IMHO.

In the case my FI had children, in the beginning I would agree with doing that. It all depends on the situation but I can see why people do not join accounts, especially for that reason. 

Although, does it matter? Doesn't the government see it as total income when you are married, even if you do have separate accounts? If someone was paying child support, then got married, the new spouse's income gets put into his TOTAL amount of income. Right? Sorry off track, just a thought that came into my head. 

Not for child support. The support is determined by the biological parent's income only.

It actually varies by State. Where I live, it is not a factor. However, my DH's kids are now adults. So, when we got married, he only had 4 months of support remaining. He does pay college costs, though. We will be filing taxes as a married couple and we did not choose the keep separate accounts for that reason. I imagine we'll owe taxes this year and we'll split the payment. If we for some reason we get a refund, we'll split it. We have an accountant that will figure all of that out, though!

I did not know this. I'm originally from CA and unless I heard wrong, I do remember some of my gal pals not wanting to marry their guys because once they got married they would have to start contributing to the guy's child. *shrugs* Again I could be wrong....but it's nice to know that in some states the new spouse does not have to contribute if he/she does not wish to. That sounds horrible...just saying it's nice to have a choice in the matter. 

The way I see it, why should the spouse have to contribute to the child? They didn't help make the child, they have no rights to the child if a divorce happens. Also it isn't fair to the couple...Why should the ex get to use three people's incomes to raise the child when it only took 2 people to make it.

That may sound selfish but ive been on both ends...I've had to pay child support while I was in the military and when i returned my ex is supposed to pay support to me (but doesnt).

Jells2dot0

Doesntplaynice82 said:

CLI242009 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Doesntplaynice82 said:

CLI242009 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Our finances are completely separate. We do not have joint accounts for anything other than our primary residence. We decided a long time ago that since we have similar salaries and savings habits, we'd keep things the way they are. We split our bills/expenditures based on our incomes and priorities. It's almost 50/50. He has children, so I do not contribute towards that unless I want. I spend my discretionary funds on travel. I am in charge of daily stuff like groceries and whatnot. He pays the utilities. It will really vary widely by circumstances and the couple, IMHO.

In the case my FI had children, in the beginning I would agree with doing that. It all depends on the situation but I can see why people do not join accounts, especially for that reason. 

Although, does it matter? Doesn't the government see it as total income when you are married, even if you do have separate accounts? If someone was paying child support, then got married, the new spouse's income gets put into his TOTAL amount of income. Right? Sorry off track, just a thought that came into my head. 

Not for child support. The support is determined by the biological parent's income only.

It actually varies by State. Where I live, it is not a factor. However, my DH's kids are now adults. So, when we got married, he only had 4 months of support remaining. He does pay college costs, though. We will be filing taxes as a married couple and we did not choose the keep separate accounts for that reason. I imagine we'll owe taxes this year and we'll split the payment. If we for some reason we get a refund, we'll split it. We have an accountant that will figure all of that out, though!

I did not know this. I'm originally from CA and unless I heard wrong, I do remember some of my gal pals not wanting to marry their guys because once they got married they would have to start contributing to the guy's child. *shrugs* Again I could be wrong....but it's nice to know that in some states the new spouse does not have to contribute if he/she does not wish to. That sounds horrible...just saying it's nice to have a choice in the matter. 

The way I see it, why should the spouse have to contribute to the child? They didn't help make the child, they have no rights to the child if a divorce happens. Also it isn't fair to the couple...Why should the ex get to use three people's incomes to raise the child when it only took 2 people to make it.

That may sound selfish but ive been on both ends...I've had to pay child support while I was in the military and when i returned my ex is supposed to pay support to me (but doesnt).

California is one of those states who combine. Which was why my DH's ex tried to get my income in the support calculations. She grew up in CA and thought our state was the same. I would have purposely not married by DH if I had to include my income. I make double was his ex makes and she was already getting more than she needed, as she wasn't even using the money for her children. Why should I have to pay for her recklessness and be responsible for that? After my experience, the whole support system needs to be re-evaluated and no new spouse should have to be forced to contribute to children that they have no legal ties to. I contributed to things as I saw fit based on my feelings and kindness and that is how it should be.

erinlin25

We have a joint account (checking) but we use it as savings and right now it pretty much our house fund.  We started it after we got engaged so any money given to us for the wedding was put there.  we used it for anything wedding related before the wedding, and for our honeymoon afterwards.  Now its our house fund.  We kept our individual accounts but both deposit weekly into the joint account, and then share payment responsibilities.  Each of us pay our own bills which luckily right now is not much.  I paid off my cc and my car before the wedding so now I only have little bills I try to just pay off monthly & the just the regular items like gas, groceries, etc which we use our own debit cards for.  We plan on getting a cc to share after we get into a house of our own.  We share groceries (i'll buy one week, he will buy the next, etc) and I typically pay our car insurance since I added H to my policy.  I know if I ever needed him to pay it he would.  We do not track who pays how much, but each just contribute to sharing the responsibilities. 

I recommend keeping your "own money" too so you do not feel like you have to ask when you need money.  Some people like sharing everything, but I like knowing if I want something I have my own money to spend as does my husband.  If either of us were to make a big purchase we run it by one another, but are still free to buy things we want. 

csuave

We set a budget for all bills and savings and created joint checking and savings accounts.  The budgeted amount is direct deposited from both of us into our joint accounts.  The rest goes into our individual accounts as our "fun" money.

Anything we need for our house or will use/do together is joint and we decide what to get/how much to spend together.  If a purchase only benefits one of us then it comes from individual accounts.

Senecaf

We don't combine. I pay all the bills and he buys groceries (family of 4), pays the cable and his specific bills (car, insurance). I clearly pay for everything. He gets a pass for the last year since he was saving for the ring but now. Eh.

It is going to change when when we get married. I make a little more than him but but not that much. Its not a big deal to me really since its been working ok for years. fun stuff tends to be on him or we do whomever had the idea pays. < that one is stupid to me.