Did they or didn't they?

tlogar

Hi Everyone;

We were invited to a wedding this year but couldn't go. I sent a gift off their wedding registry two weeks before the wedding. It has now been almost three months and I havent received a Thank You. When I check the order it says it was delivered but "left at front door." I dont care so much about the Thank You as I do about them getting the gift. Is there a tactful way to ask them if they received it? Please help. 

AprilH81

Do you talk to them often?

I'm not sure if there is a "correct" way to do this, but you can just ask if they received it.  At this point bringing it up will bring attention to the fact that they haven't done thank you notes.

itzMS

I'm planning on doing this for an acquaintence of mine.

I have a funny feeling she won't have the decency to write a Thank You note because I didn't attend her wedding.

"Hi Becky! I hope married life is treating you well! I sent xgift from xregistry on xdate. Just checking if you received it. Thanks!"

NYCBruin

AprilH81 said:

Do you talk to them often?

I'm not sure if there is a "correct" way to do this, but you can just ask if they received it.  At this point bringing it up will bring attention to the fact that they haven't done thank you notes.

I agree with this.  I think  you can just ask, but it might come across as you drawing attention to their rude behavior.

LURKERS-this is one of the many reasons why it's so important to write thank you notes quickly!

photokitty

I'd ask. If she received it and hasn't written her thank you notes then she deserves to feel embarrassed. You are not asking to embarrass her, but out of concern that the package was not received. This is one her, not you. You want to handle it before the time to make a claim for a stolen package expires from the shipping company.

Jen4948

photokitty said:

I'd ask. If she received it and hasn't written her thank you notes then she deserves to feel embarrassed. You are not asking to embarrass her, but out of concern that the package was not received. This is one her, not you. You want to handle it before the time to make a claim for a stolen package expires from the shipping company.

This.  I'd just ask, "I sent you X as a wedding gift.  I haven't heard back from you, so I was wondering if you received it.  If not, I can do a trace."

MyNameIsNot

It's absolutely acceptable to ask the couple.  Assuming they did receive it, they created this problem by rudely neglecting their thank you notes.  You should call and confirm that it was received while you still have time to do something if it wasn't.  

melbelleup

tlogar said:

Hi Everyone;

We were invited to a wedding this year but couldn't go. I sent a gift off their wedding registry two weeks before the wedding. It has now been almost three months and I havent received a Thank You. When I check the order it says it was delivered but "left at front door." I dont care so much about the Thank You as I do about them getting the gift. Is there a tactful way to ask them if they received it? Please help. 

I had this same issue with a friend. I sent it a little after her shower. Her gift went to her mom's house. I didn't hear anything until right before the wedding. Sent gift in July took til October to hear. It blows and it's rude. TBH I thought she didn't get it either other than knowing it was left at their front door. I'd just shoot her a text and be like "Hey I sent you a wedding gift, it says it was sent and just wanted to follow up and make sure you received it"

krizzo17

We had someone ask if us if we received his gift, and we hadn't, so we were glad he asked! It was ordered from an online artist and the guy took forever getting it to us - but once he did we sent a prompt thank-you note If our friend had felt awkward asking, we may never have received it.

HisGirlFriday13

photokitty said:

I'd ask. If she received it and hasn't written her thank you notes then she deserves to feel embarrassed. You are not asking to embarrass her, but out of concern that the package was not received. This is one her, not you. You want to handle it before the time to make a claim for a stolen package expires from the shipping company.

I 'loved' this post, because @photokitty is dead-on. The bolded is especially awesome. 

tlogar

Thanks everyone for the information. I am friends with the groom and while texting him I mentioned "well we sincerely hope you enjoyed your gifts. I had such a fun time picking them out. Your wife has way better taste than I do, so I had to buy XXX pitcher for myself too!" He didnt directly mention the gifts in his response and I havent gotten a thank you yet. I got the gifts as Macy's and this was the address they registered at and a ton of other people bought them gifts, plus we registered at Macy's and you can pull the list of gifts buy purchaser off the website so they know what we got them. Anyway's I am not going to press the issue, just chalk it up to some poor wedding etiquette and nothing more. 

Anyways, I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving! 

jessicabessica

Why do you assume that his wife picked out the item?  

Anyway, I've decided to ask a couple that I'll be seeing over the upcoming holiday if they received the gift I sent them in advance of their June wedding.  Sigh.