Etiquette

Thank You Text?

Just needed to vent here really quickly. I was a bridesmaid for a very close friend for her wedding in May.  My fiancé and I bought the couple a very nice, rather expensive, waffle maker that they had on their registry. When she opened her gift she sent me a text message saying how much she loved it and how excited she was to use it. About a week after their wedding, I received a very nice thank you card from the bride thanking me for being a part of her special day. She did not mention the gift at all. Now maybe I am biased seeing as I wrote thank you cards to my professors in college, and I was taught that thank you notes should go out ASAP, but we're going on 6 months here I am a little irritated. Text messages are not thank you notes.  Obviously, I can't force her to write one and I would never bring it up with her, but this rubs me the wrong way. Am I being too sensitive?
melbelleup

Re: Thank You Text?

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    No, you're not being too sensitive. Do you know if other guests at the wedding got personalized notes?
    doeydo
  • I haven't heard one way or the other from anyone else. I can't think of a polite way of asking another guest or bridesmaid if they received one without sounding completely offended (even though I am).
  • I bet she pre-wrote her "thanks for being part of my special day" thank-yous and assumed it took the place of "thank you for your generous gift, I can't wait to use it for blah blah blah" thank-yous.

    You're not being oversensitive, she should definitely send a proper thank you for your gift.

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    s-aries8990melbelleupKeptInStitchesdoeydo
  • Thanks for your support ladies!!! My fiancé's sister got married in July and he was a groomsman and we got a bridal party thank you about one week afterwards as well. I thought it was so sweet that she included me and said thanks for all my help even though I wasn't in the bridal party. We got a gift thank you about a month later which is when I realized that my friend should have spent a little time on this board.
  • scribe95 said:

    Eh, to me she genuinely told you she loved it and couldn't wait to use it. Then she sent you a sincere thanks for being part of her day. Let it go and stop judging your friend. It's not like she didn't do anything at all!

    Sorry, but I would still judge. I wouldn't let it ruin the friendship, but a text is not a replacement of a well thought out thank you note. She could have sent the text AND a proper thank you note or not sent the text and sent the thank you note.
    KeptInStitchesdoeydo[Deleted User]cleobab
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    scribe95 said:
    Eh, to me she genuinely told you she loved it and couldn't wait to use it. Then she sent you a sincere thanks for being part of her day. Let it go and stop judging your friend. It's not like she didn't do anything at all!
    This exactly.  I mean at this point will a written thank you note make up for anything?  Just let it go.

    [Deleted User]ashleyepPrincessNicky13
  • scribe95 said:

    Eh, to me she genuinely told you she loved it and couldn't wait to use it. Then she sent you a sincere thanks for being part of her day. Let it go and stop judging your friend. It's not like she didn't do anything at all!

    This. A friend of mine hand delivered our gift privately about 2 months after the wedding. It was an awesome fondue pot and corresponding cookbook. I thanked her in person, of course, and sent texts (with pictures) the first two times we made and enjoyed some of the recipes.

    To me, that was a zillion times more personal than a small handwritten note.



    cidefiJeeGooDowster
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    scribe95 said:
    Eh, to me she genuinely told you she loved it and couldn't wait to use it. Then she sent you a sincere thanks for being part of her day. Let it go and stop judging your friend. It's not like she didn't do anything at all!
    This exactly.  I mean at this point will a written thank you note make up for anything?  Just let it go.
    This.  Continuing to judge your friend at this point will not garner you a properly-written thank-you note.  I wouldn't nurse this grudge any longer.
  • scribe95 said:
    Eh, to me she genuinely told you she loved it and couldn't wait to use it. Then she sent you a sincere thanks for being part of her day. Let it go and stop judging your friend. It's not like she didn't do anything at all!
    This exactly.  I mean at this point will a written thank you note make up for anything?  Just let it go.
    I agree to just let it go.  She did thank you for the gift (technically) and that is what really matters.  Could she have written a second note, or inculded it in the one she did send? Sure.  But I wouldn't hold a grudge over it.  She did thank you for it and just because she didn't do it to the level you did doesn't mean she didn't care!
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
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    I feel like if you know she was genuinely thankful for the gift (because she told you) that's all that would matter to me. I just like to know people are grateful. To me it can come in the form of a note, a phone call, in person whatever. I just like to know people enjoy what I got them.
    Anniversary
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  • I agree that as long as you were thanked specifically for the gift, then I'm OK with that. 
    golden1215
  • meh, I wouldnt have kept a mental note long enough to realize after 6 months I still didnt have my paper thank you. I feel like sometimes people give gifts for the recognition and the thanks it will/should bring them. just give the gift because you love the person and want them to have delicious waffles and be done with it.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
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    She sent you a thank you text and a thank you card and you want a second thank you card? I think you're expecting too much. Why doesn't the first thank you card she sent you count as a thank you card? Maybe you being a part of her day was more important to her than a waffle maker so she chose to focus on that in her thank you card. She still thanked you. 
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    indianaalumSKPM
  • If you were a bridesmaid, and she is your "very close friend", as you mentioned above, then I think the "thanks" she has given you is probably sufficient and you should cut her some slack and get over it.
  • She sent you a thank you text and a thank you card and you want a second thank you card? I think you're expecting too much. Why doesn't the first thank you card she sent you count as a thank you card? Maybe you being a part of her day was more important to her than a waffle maker so she chose to focus on that in her thank you card. She still thanked you. 
    This.  It'd be one thing if she didn't sent a paper thank you at all, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she focused on the more important gift- your time and involvement as a bridesmaid.
    indianaalum
  • A thank you text on its own is quite odd and I would not like that if it was the only thank you; Since she at least sent you a thank you card after the fact I would just let it go (but agree its odd/rude not to mention the gift still).  I definitely sent texts here and there when we received gifts before and after the wedding but always followed that up thanking them again for the gift in a formal TY note.  
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    Anniversary
  • Unfortunately I think its a sign of the times.  Electronics are the way of the world and getting to be more so every day.  Right or wrong, we cant fight it.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Thanks for your support ladies!!! My fiancé's sister got married in July and he was a groomsman and we got a bridal party thank you about one week afterwards as well. I thought it was so sweet that she included me and said thanks for all my help even though I wasn't in the bridal party. We got a gift thank you about a month later which is when I realized that my friend should have spent a little time on this board.
    Why does she need to spend time on this board. Are you implying a month is too long?  Because  I think a month is perfectly acceptable after a wedding.  I think more than a month or 2 and people can start to get annoyed.  I think you are way too sensitive.  
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  • scribe95 said:

    There are people who do nothing AT ALL. I think we should save our derision for them. This is nitpicky.

    I agree! I was in a friends wedding in May and I never got a thank you for the generous gift I gave them, or a thank you for being in the wedding. So rude.
    aurorajanette
  • My bridesmaids are getting at least two thank you notes or more. The first is for their help/ attendance. The second and or other notes are for any shower or wedding gifts they choose to give. I am sorry this happened to you. I too would side eye a text.
  • scribe95 said:
    There are people who do nothing AT ALL. I think we should save our derision for them. This is nitpicky.
    Agreed.  

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    scribe95 said:
    There are people who do nothing AT ALL. I think we should save our derision for them. This is nitpicky.
    This. Isn't the important thing that she thanked you? She sent you a text with a genuine thank-you and really loved your gift and she sent you a thank-you note for the time/money you put into being in the wedding. I think you are being way to sensitive. 


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