May 2014 Weddings

Look before the ceremony?

So random question.  Is anyone planning on having their FI see them before the ceremony and having photos taken?  It seems to be a trend and I'm leaning towards not doing that.  I think I've always dreamed of having the first look moment when I come down the isle.  What is everyone else's thoughts on it?
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Re: Look before the ceremony?

  • I have heard of that as well. We are definitely not going to, though. I LOVE that tradition... and cannot wait to see my FI face when he first sees me down the aisle. My mom is even going far enough to say that as of midnight we need to be split up, haha. 

  • I really love traditions and I wasn't planning to do a first look, but I stumbled across an article on Pinterest (I tried to find it but my wedding board has over a thousand pins - insanity) that made a really strong case for why you should do it.  The main reason I decided it was a good idea was that I wanted to be able to enjoy the cocktail hour with my guests rather than be busy taking pictures.   And the more I thought about it, the more justified it seemed.  I cry at EVERY wedding I go to and I will probably end up crying when I walk down the aisle regardless of a first look or not, but by seeing FI before that moment, I'll be able to get some of the emotion out of my system.  I don't know if there's such a thing as a "pretty crier" but I am not one.

    I honestly think it comes down to personal preference, there's no right or wrong, it's just what makes sense for you as a couple.
  • We aren't doing a first look. First time FI will see me is when the church doors open. I couldn't image seeing him before that. I get why some people do it but it's not for me.
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  • I'm not the most traditional person, but that's one tradition that I love. Even with us having a destination wedding, my FI will not see me in my gown until I'm walking down the isle.
  • I do not want a first look!! Everyone was trying to convince me to, my photographer and even my fiance. He really wants to enjoy the cocktail hour, but I really want him to see me walking down the aisle. I think it depends on what you really want, I'm sticking to my ground on this!
  • @ohxhi - I'm right there with you! And I think I have that Pinterest article too!!  We will be doing a first look so that we can spend some time with our guests and enjoy cocktail hour (w went to a tasting in April and can not wait for the food now!!!).  Also we have the venue booked an hour before the ceremony so we have the extra time, might as well use it rather than just siting around waiting.  Also we only have one photographer, so doing a first look helps to get more shots of us 

    And while I agree that the moment of a groom seeing his bride for the first time coming down the aisle is very emotional, I feel it's enhanced by the music, the environment, and all of your friends and family there whereas at the first look where it's just you, your FI and the photographer is a bit more intimate and a whole different level of emotions that should be captured too.

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  • I remember reading that Pinterest article about the first look. Like all the lovely PP said it is all about personal preference. We will not be doing just because that is one of the traditions I do want to keep! 
  • I totally understand both sides of the coin on this one and it really does come down to personal preference, but I have to say I think I'm still sticking with the not seeing before the walk down the isle.  And I plan on being separated from him the night before as well.  We will actually have our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner at his parents' house because there is a wedding at our venue the day before, and I didn't want to rehears the same day cause I didn't want him seeing me until its time.  Plus to me, that will be too much going on that day with getting ready AND having a rehearsal.  Anyways, I was just curious if anyone was thinking of doing the first look before the ceremony :) 
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  • We aren't doing a first look. My FI also won't see me the day of the wedding before the ceremony. I'm staying at the reception site the night before and getting ready there. 
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  • I was just reading a discussion about this. I have always wanted to do a first look. Then someone made the comment that, those pictures will not be when you are married. So the first "married" photos of you and your significant other are when you are still engaged. I have never thought about that.  It makes me second guess wanting a first look. 

    Decision is still up in the air. I think it will be a week before decision. 
  • We ALMOST decided to do a first look, and our photog really wanted us to. But FI ended up having second thoughts and wanted to keep things traditional (a first for him! Haha), so we rearranged our schedule and now we're not doing one. The good thing is that we found a way to make it really work for us -- we're going to send our guests on a half-hour tour of the winery while we start photos, and then they'll begin cocktail hour. Our photos are slotted for about an hour, so we'll get to join them for the second half of cocktail hour. Win-win!


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  • We are defiantly doing a first look. And my opinion on this was solidified by a wedding we recently went to where the bride and groom just got to enjoy themselves the whole time after the ceremony. Also I want to get all formal pictures out of the way after suffering through some pretty awful picture sessions at siblings weddings.
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  • We aren't doing a first look. This will be one of very few traditional things we do :)
  • We are walking down the aisle together so it's kind of hard not to have a 'first' look! Whatever it is we'll probably keep the moment between ourselves, we hired a photographer of course but I'm skeptical people really feel the moment the way they're supposed to when they're trying to also record it in some way.
    -anjo (aka the future mrs miley :)


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  • I have a minor in photographer and still dabble in it, so I'm all for first looks. My FI isn't. His only request this whole process is to not see me until I walk down the aisle. I caved since he hasn't asked for anything else! We're working on our schedule now to make it all work, especially since we're having an early morning ceremony & leaving right after the reception for our honeymoon.

     

  • So, I finally convinced my Fiance today that we should have a first look! To be honest, I was also against the first look initially. I'm all about tradition, and waiting to see him when I walk down the aisle. But I read some other posts on TK and there were a few points that made me rethink it. First, I would love to get some of the picture-taking out of the way before the ceremony, that way we can get to our reception faster and enjoy our cocktail hour more. Secondly... I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a hysterical mess if I wait to see him when I walk down the aisle. I'm definitely not a pretty crier and would hate to have mascara running down my face in all the pictures of our ceremony! I was shocked when he actually agreed with me today!
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  • We're waiting.. I almost feel like it's cheating a little bit. Taking pictures of the married couple before they're married isn't really a married couple. I'm not a pretty crier either, by any means, but I know how special it will be for my fiance and myself to see each other in a new way. What we're doing in order to take pictures is having a gap between the ceremony and reception. I know a lot of people will probably attack me for that on here but it's ok. It's something my family has always done so it's also a tradition for us. We'll have our ceremony, then the guests will have the option of touring the museum our event is taking place at while we're off taking pics. The reception hall will be open with some finger foods for people to nibble on until the reception starts. So for us going without first looks works, we want it that way any way :)

  • We are doing the first look pictures.  We are Jewish when we sign the Ketubah before the ceremony he is going to see me anyway. If we weren't doing that then I wouldn't do the first look pictures. 
  • My FI always gets annoyed at weddings with how long you have to wait between the ceremony and the reception. He is hypoglycemic so waiting that long to eat is not fun for him. And since we're throwing out a lot of other traditions (no receiving line, possibly no guest book, still debating the cake cutting, and my mom is giving the toast instead of my dad) we're doing our pictures before the ceremony. we're also doing the entire wedding at one location so it would be hard to make people wait in between without spending the extra for a cocktail hour (hard to have a cocktail hour at a dry wedding too). But! I do plan on having a photo of his face when he first sees me. I want to have that reaction saved to look back on for the rest of our lives. I think it will be kind of special that the first time he sees me in my dress it will be just the two of us (and the photographer)...
  • We are doing first look photos. I have a list of reasons why but my biggest one was that we are having a sunset ceremony and the photographer said "you literally have 10-15 mins to do all your photos after the ceremony in crappy lighting. I highly recommend doing all your photos first in this case and you can enjoy your full wedding."  which makes 100% sense to me. :)
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