I think the fact that we are engaged and planning a wedding but I do not have an engagement ring. That doesnt bother ME at all...but it bothers other people I guess. I spent the last year working my butt off paying off $30,000 in debt (credit cards, FI's student loans, funiture etc) and now that I am debt free I am helping my FI pay off the rest of his student loans and his vehicle....We don't see the need to add anymore debt right now so I am assuming he is saving cash for that (not sure). We actually have not set a date for our wedding and do not plan to until at least half of the costs are saved for. Because of that other people do not see us as "Engaged". I've lived most of my life in debt and do not want to start my new life with someone else's debt...so working on being debt free for the both of us!
I didn't tell my family we were getting married until we had everything, 'set up'. So I was able to shut down ethe meddlesome suggestions quickly, but we still got them.The day of, everyone tried to come into my room to see me before the wedding, not cool, had to kick people out.