Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Processional ??s (nontradiational, no attendants, my 2 kids as FGs, entering from the side)

I tried looking through past posts for processional ideas,but I feel like I have so many variables to juggle.

Mine is a non-traditional wedding (2nd for me, 1st for him) We're still fairly young (under 30, over 25).   I've got 6 year old and 4 year old DDs. They're going to be FG in the wedding.  We're not planning on having a bridal party and there will just be about 50 people at the wedding.  We're getting married at a gazeebo w/a deck on top of a hill where i have to enter from the side.

--Should my dad walk me down the aisle?  (it just feels strange...especially the second time around. but i don't want to snub him either.)
--Should my girls walk with me down the aisle  (symbolic of the fact that FI is committing to the 3 of us, not just me)?
--There is no where to enter from....no buildings nearby, etc.   So, do i drive up/get driven up to the gazeebo after the guests are already up there? or do I sit and wait in the car before the guests get there and then exit at the right time? Having a horse or something for a cooler entrance isn't in the budget.
--FI and I are going to see eachother before hand for pictures...do you usually separate again for a time before the ceremony?
--Should include my parents / his parents in the processional even though its a small wedding and we're aiming for something simple?

Hope you ladies can handle my barrage of questions. ;)    TIA

Re: Processional ??s (nontradiational, no attendants, my 2 kids as FGs, entering from the side)

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2013

    zdmd14 said:

    --Should my dad walk me down the aisle?  (it just feels strange...especially the second time around. but i don't want to snub him either.)  Since this is not your first time, you don't need to be "walked." (You don't even need it the first time, actually.)  That said, if you want your dad to do this, ask him.  But don't ask him because you think not doing so would make him feel "snubbed."  Only do it if it's what you want.

    --Should my girls walk with me down the aisle  (symbolic of the fact that FI is committing to the 3 of us, not just me)?

    No, actually the only two people making a commitment here are you and your FI-to each other.  Not the children.  If you want to include them, include them in traditional wedding party roles, like bridesmaid or flower girl. 

    --There is no where to enter from....no buildings nearby, etc.   So, do i drive up/get driven up to the gazeebo after the guests are already up there? or do I sit and wait in the car before the guests get there and then exit at the right time? Having a horse or something for a cooler entrance isn't in the budget.

    A horse or something wouldn't make it a "cooler" entrance.  Just walk up the aisle and back.

    --FI and I are going to see eachother before hand for pictures...do you usually separate again for a time before the ceremony?

    --Should include my parents / his parents in the processional even though its a small wedding and we're aiming for something simple?

    Both of these are strictly up to you.

  • Schatzi13 said:
    With whom would you like to walk? Walk with that person/persons/yourself. (I agree with PP that a wedding is between two adults and not children - it would be inappropriate for them to say vows or "give you away," for example - but I see no reason that you can't walk with your daughters as people who are important to you.)
    .
    I know that they aren't making a commitment in this--I'm not saying that at all.  But I think he is making a commitment to them, in a sense.  To be a responsible and loving adult in their lives.  To be supportive of them.  To treat them as family, etc.
  • edited November 2013
    zdmd14 said:
    I tried looking through past posts for processional ideas,but I feel like I have so many variables to juggle.

    Mine is a non-traditional wedding (2nd for me, 1st for him) We're still fairly young (under 30, over 25).   I've got 6 year old and 4 year old DDs. They're going to be FG in the wedding.  We're not planning on having a bridal party and there will just be about 50 people at the wedding.  We're getting married at a gazeebo w/a deck on top of a hill where i have to enter from the side.

    --Should my dad walk me down the aisle?  (it just feels strange...especially the second time around. but i don't want to snub him either.)
    You can walk with whomever you'd like - or no one if you'd rather walk alone. This is a very personal thing that's completely your decision.
    --Should my girls walk with me down the aisle  (symbolic of the fact that FI is committing to the 3 of us, not just me)?
    Generally, flower girls precede the bride, but if you'd rather have them walk along side you while they're tossing, it really doesn't matter and sounds pretty cute. :)
    --There is no where to enter from....no buildings nearby, etc.   So, do i drive up/get driven up to the gazeebo after the guests are already up there? or do I sit and wait in the car before the guests get there and then exit at the right time? Having a horse or something for a cooler entrance isn't in the budget. I got married outside also (a city park) so this was an "issue". There was an small building that I stood behind after I got dropped off and then as the processional was starting and everyone was watching the other WP people, I started walking up and kind of waited a little further back. DH and I just decided "when he sees me, he sees me". He kind of looked down until the officiant said the "all rise for the bride" or whatever. It was fine.
    --FI and I are going to see eachother before hand for pictures...do you usually separate again for a time before the ceremony? This is up to you. If you want to separate for a few minutes prior, it doesn't really matter either way. You're going to end up in the same place anyway. :)
    --Should include my parents / his parents in the processional even though its a small wedding and we're aiming for something simple?
    Again, it's up to you. Most processionals include parents, but if you'd rather not, it's up to you. Take your family traditions and culture into account. 

    Hope you ladies can handle my barrage of questions. ;)    TIA
    ETA: In your question about the girls walking you down because your FI is committing to all 3 of you, does this mean you are considering vows between your FI and your children? If so, I have to strongly urge you not to do this. A marriage is between two consenting adults (you and your FI). Your kids are obviously part of the package, but it's really not ok to make them part of your vows.

    If you want to reference them in the vows you say to each other (not to the kids), I think it would work to write your own vows and put a line in there about "taking each others' family as your own, being loving and supportive" etc. 
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  • zdmd14 said:
    I tried looking through past posts for processional ideas,but I feel like I have so many variables to juggle.

    Mine is a non-traditional wedding (2nd for me, 1st for him) We're still fairly young (under 30, over 25).   I've got 6 year old and 4 year old DDs. They're going to be FG in the wedding.  We're not planning on having a bridal party and there will just be about 50 people at the wedding.  We're getting married at a gazeebo w/a deck on top of a hill where i have to enter from the side.

    --Should my dad walk me down the aisle?  (it just feels strange...especially the second time around. but i don't want to snub him either.)
    You can walk with whomever you'd like - or no one if you'd rather walk alone. This is a very personal thing that's completely your decision.
    --Should my girls walk with me down the aisle  (symbolic of the fact that FI is committing to the 3 of us, not just me)?
    Generally, flower girls precede the bride, but if you'd rather have them walk along side you while they're tossing, it really doesn't matter and sounds pretty cute. :)
    --There is no where to enter from....no buildings nearby, etc.   So, do i drive up/get driven up to the gazeebo after the guests are already up there? or do I sit and wait in the car before the guests get there and then exit at the right time? Having a horse or something for a cooler entrance isn't in the budget. I got married outside also (a city park) so this was an "issue". There was an small building that I stood behind after I got dropped off and then as the processional was starting and everyone was watching the other WP people, I started walking up and kind of waited a little further back. DH and I just decided "when he sees me, he sees me". He kind of looked down until the officiant said the "all rise for the bride" or whatever. It was fine.
    --FI and I are going to see eachother before hand for pictures...do you usually separate again for a time before the ceremony? This is up to you. If you want to separate for a few minutes prior, it doesn't really matter either way. You're going to end up in the same place anyway. :)
    --Should include my parents / his parents in the processional even though its a small wedding and we're aiming for something simple?
    Again, it's up to you. Most processionals include parents, but if you'd rather not, it's up to you. Take your family traditions and culture into account. 

    Hope you ladies can handle my barrage of questions. ;)    TIA
    ETA: In your question about the girls walking you down because your FI is committing to all 3 of you, does this mean you are considering vows between your FI and your children? If so, I have to strongly urge you not to do this. A marriage is between two consenting adults (you and your FI). Your kids are obviously part of the package, but it's really not ok to make them part of your vows.

    If you want to reference them in the vows you say to each other (not to the kids), I think it would work to write your own vows and put a line in there about "taking each others' family as your own, being loving and supportive" etc. 
    See my previous reply ;)   I know THEYaren't committing,but he is... no vows between FI and the kids.  However, we may include a responsive part where the officiant asks us to promise to provide a loving home, etc.  and we say "we do".     But I totally agree with you all---they aren't choosing the marriage, they aren't committing to anything.   I do believe that in making a commitment to me, though, he is making a commitment to them. 
  • Really you can do the processional however you'd like. There are no strict rules. If its super important to your dad that he walk you, I would probably just let him. But that's your choice. You could also have you and FI walk down together. 
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