Bridal Shower Planning 101?

VintageInez

Hi everyone!

So, I'm a bridesmaid for the first time ever and have been given the responsibility of being the main planner for the shower and bachelorette party. I'm not the MOH, but the bride and the MOH have asked that I be in charge of planning because the MOH lives in another country and will probably just be there the day of the wedding (understandably so, it's a heck of a trip from Japan to the United States). I've got 10 months before the wedding, but I wanted to get the ball rolling now. The other bridesmaids are wonderful and have volunteered to help in whatever way they can, but I don't even know where to begin! Any advice on where to start? Is there a checklist for this sort of thing? It will be a traditional Celtic wedding.

Thanks!

clarke10

If you're 10 months out then you've got TONS of time. You don't really need to start planning this early.

blabla89

If you want to host these events (you are not obligated), then a budget is probably the best place to start. Go ahead and figure that out now, in case the bride or MOH start making requests that are out of your budget. The rest of the planning can wait, you've got plenty of time.

southernbelle0915

VintageInez said:

Hi everyone!

So, I'm a bridesmaid for the first time ever and have been given the responsibility of being the main planner for the shower and bachelorette party. I'm not the MOH, but the bride and the MOH have asked that I be in charge of planning because the MOH lives in another country and will probably just be there the day of the wedding (understandably so, it's a heck of a trip from Japan to the United States). I've got 10 months before the wedding, but I wanted to get the ball rolling now. The other bridesmaids are wonderful and have volunteered to help in whatever way they can, but I don't even know where to begin! Any advice on where to start? Is there a checklist for this sort of thing? It will be a traditional Celtic wedding.

Thanks!

Are you sure you want to plan the shower? It's not a responsibility and can get very expensive so be sure to take that into consideration before you commit. You also can't ask anyone else to subsidize the cost, so if you take this on, it's gotta be your thing.

If you get past all that and still want to host, here's what you do:

1) Decide on a budget and location. This will determine how many people you can afford to host.

2) Decide on a few dates/times that would work (do the shower about 3-5 months before the wedding - depending on people's schedules/travel or location/what works for the bride). Give these to the bride and ask her to pick one. 

3) Tell the bride how many people you can afford to host and ask her for a guest list/addresses. Anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding (etiquette rule).

4) Send the invitations out about 3-4 weeks before the shower.

5) Plan a menu appropriate for the time of day. I would throw the shower at a non-meal time so you can get away with finger foods and apps. 

6) Ask the bride if she's cool with your menu and whether she wants games (some do, some don't).

You don't need to go head over heels for a shower. Decorations really aren't necessary and the theme of the wedding does not matter. You could have a Celtic wedding and an elephant themed shower if you want. 

climbingsingle

lalalaurita said:

If you want to host these events (you are not obligated), then a budget is probably the best place to start. Go ahead and figure that out now, in case the bride or MOH start making requests that are out of your budget. The rest of the planning can wait, you've got plenty of time.

This. 

winelover123

You don't have to plan parties, though it sounds like you want to, which is great.

Decide your budget first. If other BMs are helping to host as well, find out what their budgets are. Don't go over budget. Bridal showers can be as simple as serving sandwiches and having a few people over in your home. Mine was in my mom's church's basement. Don't get hung up on decorations - seriously, no one cares.

Tell the bride how many people you can afford to host and ask for a list. Send out invitations. If the bride is into games, look up some games.

You have a ton of time to start planning.

VintageInez

Yes, I definitely want to plan this. To be honest, I was the first person to mention the shower and the MOH and bride said they had no plans to have one, so I volunteered and they seemed thrilled that someone wanted to take that responsibility. By no means did the bride require it of me. She didn't think she'd have one because her mom is out of the picture and I know sometimes the mother does the shower.

Long story short, I'm doing this because I want to. The bride and groom have been my friends since high school and are very close to my heart

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions so far!

misssunshine17

That's very nice of you to offer the shower. If you're co-planning with any other bridesmaids, I would definitely wait until after the holidays to start with the planning. You're wayyy early.

AddieCake

Definitely too early to start planning, and people will be too busy with the holidays to help or be interested, I imagine.

saric83

Like PPs suggested, I think the best place to start is budget.  If any of the BMs and/or the MOH have offered to help too, I would contact each of them individually to see if they have a max amount they're comfortable contributing.  I know you have a lot of time, but if I wanted to contribute financially, I would appreciate it getting figured out ahead of time.

Once you have the budget in mind, maybe you could meet the bride for coffee or something and get an idea of what she would like or not like.  Obviously, she shouldn't dictate a theme or anything like that, but maybe you'll get an idea if she would be more comfortable without games, super casual, or whatever.  

Then you could start to figure out locations and then chill out for a few months and figure out the rest of the details as it gets a little closer.  Good luck!