Wedding guest passed away after the wedding. Unsure of how to address the thank you card.

hipannie

hi everyone, 2 weeks after my wedding, a guest suddenly passed away. i am now sending out my thank you cards (a long time coming) and i am unsure of how to address the card. do i just address it to his wife or still put his name on it too? in the card, do i make reference to him (e.g. john and sue, thank you for coming to our wedding etc...) or just make reference to her?

thanks everyone!

carissaroberts

I think referencing both of them would imply that you are not acknowledging his death. This is a tricky situation. I would address her, thank her for them coming and make reference about her being in your thoughts during this time… 

climbingsingle

I would address it to just her, thank her for coming and for the gift (if she gave you one) and express how sorry I am for her loss. 

hipannie

thank you everyone, those are good responses and yes, i did send my condolences already and was wondering what to say. I will mention that I am thinking of their SO 

WedinVolterra

This probably varies by person, but my mother is widowed and she loves it when people send her mail addressed to Mrs. DeceasedHusbandsName.  It's the old fashioned way to address her and it makes her smile to know that someone thought of my dad when they wrote it -- so perhaps you could address the thank you envelope in that way so that he's mentioned in spirit but yet it's still properly addressed to her.

mattycam

I agree with PP's

pinkshorts27

WedinVolterra said:

This probably varies by person, but my mother is widowed and she loves it when people send her mail addressed to Mrs. DeceasedHusbandsName.  It's the old fashioned way to address her and it makes her smile to know that someone thought of my dad when they wrote it -- so perhaps you could address the thank you envelope in that way so that he's mentioned in spirit but yet it's still properly addressed to her.

My Grandma hates it. She goes by Ms. Emma Lastname. She also is cheap and instead of buying new return labels, she crossed out my grandpas name on all of them. It makes my dad sad every time he gets a letter from her.