Children at Wedding

HH2Be

Ok, here is my dilemma.  I have some friends who don't know how not to bring their children places.  I adore their children, however, a wedding is not the place to bring them.  I want the parents to have a good time.  I am fearful someone might bring their child along to the wedding, although I am really hoping they have some common sense.  I already ordered my invitations and did not include anything about it being adult only.  However, on our wedding website, it does indicate adult-only reception.  I do plan to address both STDs & invitations to Mr. & Mrs. only.  I am planning to include an insert with the invitations that simply says "for directions, and hotel booking information, please see our wedding website" and give the website.  Is it tacky to include something there about adult only?  

My other issue is that I do plan to have our niece & 2 nephews as part of the wedding party.  However, I am trying to figure out care for them after introductions at the reception.  Our niece will be 6 at the time, one nephew just over 2, the other almost 2.  Our venue is an exit away from the hotel we will be reserving room blocks at, about a 10 minute drive.  So it isn't an easy option to hire a sitter for them.  For our one nephew, the other grandparents live a good hour & a half away, so it isn't an option for them to watch him.  For our niece & nephew, the other grandparents are about 20-30 minutes away, so it is an option for them to pick them up & take them home.

Any feedback is welcome!

dpelkey724

I do not think it is tacky at all for you to include something about it being adults-only on the insert.  I have MANY friends similar to yours, surprisingly, mine have been super understanding and have already made plans for their children for our wedding.  Even the ones I did tell, they were totally fine with it.  I think most people understand and would not want to subject their children to a 5-hour affair.  If there are friends in particular you are worried about, I would definitely mention it to them.

As for the children in your bridal party, I have heard of children being in the ceremony, then getting picked up by a grandparent, babysitter, etc after the ceremony and pictures are done.  I think that is a totally okay thing to do.  Especially because you are planning for this now, people should be understanding.

Best of luck!

Couggal12

We are also having a child free wedding (we aren't having kids in the WP either) and I don't think it's necessarily rude to include it on the wedding website but, I most likely wouldn't. I think if you address your STDs and invites to the adults, and they RSVP for their children you can always call them up and explain the situation. Or just spread the information by word of mouth if you think people will assume their children are invited. I'm not sure about the childcare for after your ceremony. Is their a particular reason you don't want them there? To me I would be sort of offended if you asked my children to be in the wedding but, they had to leaving immediately after the ceremony. Maybe that's just me but, anyway if you let their parents know now then I'm sure they can arrange something. Good luck!

Simky906

I agree with Couggal12; if people add their children to their RSVPs you just call and let them know that you won't be able to accommodate them. Also a little confused about your having kids in your wedding party but not having them at the reception. Of course people do things differently but I personally find that very odd. My brother and SIL danced the night away at our little sisters wedding and their three children (who served as the ring bearer and flower girls and were between the ages of 11 months and six years) danced right along with them. I'm in no way saying you have to invite everyone's kids but I certainly think having just those three would be ok.

MRSreadcomicbooks

It wouldn't be not using common sense if they did bring their kids - not all weddings are child free.  You have to specify this to them.  Make sure you address the invitations with the adults' names only.  I wouldn't necessarily say "no children" on the invitation, but if you feel they'll need more clarification than this perhaps include that in an email or in casual conversation with them.  Not everyone agrees with the no children concept, so it can't really be considered common sense to not bring them along.

 

My weddng is going to be absolutely child friendly, as I have a son myself.  My family includes a ton of kids, so I would feel as though I wasn't celebrating with EVERYONE if I didn't include children in general.

talandree

My wedding is going to be child free, however I won't be including that on the invitations. I might just use word of mouth and then with my RSVP cards, I will include "We have reserved x amount of seats in your honor", so that way they (hopefully) know that it's adult only. 

With my family, there's about 30 kids under the age of 16 (probably 20 of them are under 10), no thank you. I love kids, I have my own, but I just don't want that many kids at our wedding. 

My daughter (who will be 2) will be our flower girl and then someone will babysit her afterwards.

Ashine13

You should definitely specify no children. I will be including this somewhere, somehow in my invitations. I have a 5 children in my wedding but those will be the only ones coming. I have set it up so my mom and my niece who will be 16 will sit at the table with the children and monitor them. With that I shouldn't have too many issues. Hope you can figure something out.  

Ashine13

You should definitely specify no children. I will be including this somewhere, somehow in my invitations. I have a 5 children in my wedding but those will be the only ones coming. I have set it up so my mom and my niece who will be 16 will sit at the table with the children and monitor them. With that I shouldn't have too many issues. Hope you can figure something out.  

meh0429

We are also having a no kids wedding (21 and over) - it's at a winery, which I feel is inappropriate for kids, and also we both feel strongly that a wedding is for adults. This is a highly unpopular decision with my family.

Be clear as day on your wedding website. Our says, "While we love all the kiddos in our lives, we will be celebrating our wedding with guests aged 21 and over." It's an extra step but you could also put each person's name on the response cards instead of having them write it in. Just have them mark accepts or regrets. I would let folks know now, so no one is expecting it. Definitely be sure to address the envelopes clearly so that it's Mr & Mrs. 

In all honesty, the best and most clear way is to verbally speak to your guests to let them know. "No kids" to one person may mean no one under 10, while to another it could mean 18 and younger. Set a cut off age, and call the folks you know it will affect - "Hi Mrs. Smith, we just wanted to let you know that we are celebrating with guests over the age of 18 at the wedding, but we do hope you and Mr. Smith are able to celebrate with us."

Our guests with children were all made aware very early on. My family is across-the-board irritated and offended, friends have all said, "I wouldn't bring them anyway". {shrugs}

HH2Be

Thank you everyone for your feedback.  As by the responses, it is a subject that brings many different opinions.  In discussing my wedding with friends, I have made it very clear my wedding will be free of children (except those in the wp).  I do also plan to address the STDs & Invites to solely Mr. & Mrs.  If necessary, I will call anyone who responds with children.  As for my niece & nephews, not staying the entire time, is their bedtimes.  My niece can probably make it a while, but with the boys being so young, bedtime is crucial for them.  I just don't want moms & dads dealing with crazy cranky children because their sleep schedule was disturbed.  I know one day isn't much, but my FSIL is very, very strict with nephew's bedtime.

theartistformerlyknownas

Good choice. I'm inviting about 15 kids to my wedding (family only, no friends' kids) plus 2 in the wedding party. I'm allowing my sister to bring her nanny with her so she can take the kids back to the hotel after dinner and my sister can stay and party with her hubby. The other parents are responsible for figuring out what to do with their kids when bedtime comes... not my responsibility!

thedivav

NO KIDS 

NO EXCEPTIONS

it is going on the website well its on the website 

and the invites insert