Customs and Traditions

Who can host a bridal shower?

All of my bridal party party is from out of town, my BFF from college is my matron of honor and 1500 miles away.  My other two attendants are my younger brother and neice.  Neither would throw a bridal shower even if they were close.  I know it seems like i'm being greedy for wanting someone else to give me a shower, but really I just want the experience of it.  Being the center of attention for an extra day and being all girly about stuff with a roomful of ladies.  This is my first (hopefully only!) wedding and I am 33 years old.  Neither of us need a lot of household items but we still want to be able to enjoy all the traditional festivities even though we are not the traditional couple age.

Am I wrong to want to be girly on this?  Maybe i'm just venting, but I also feel like i'm missing out a bit.

Re: Who can host a bridal shower?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    Anyone other than the bride herself or really close female relatives on either side can host a shower.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    I think it depends on your "social circle". In our family, and in our area, it is not uncommon for the aunts to host the bridal shower. The bridal party often hosts the shower, and very often siblings are among the bridal party.
  • In my area, the mother of the bride pays and the bridal party "hosts" (sends the invitations, greets guests, run games).  Each individual bride is going to have her own situation though, so you've got to do what feels right and works for you.

    Off topic but also in my area (NYC), 33 is a very common age to get married :}

    MairePoppy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
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    peggerzz said:

    All of my bridal party party is from out of town, my BFF from college is my matron of honor and 1500 miles away.  My other two attendants are my younger brother and neice.  Neither would throw a bridal shower even if they were close.  I know it seems like i'm being greedy for wanting someone else to give me a shower, but really I just want the experience of it.  Being the center of attention for an extra day and being all girly about stuff with a roomful of ladies.  This is my first (hopefully only!) wedding and I am 33 years old.  Neither of us need a lot of household items but we still want to be able to enjoy all the traditional festivities even though we are not the traditional couple age.

    Am I wrong to want to be girly on this?  Maybe i'm just venting, but I also feel like i'm missing out a bit.

    Anyone but the bride can host the shower.  In more traditional circles, the MOB is out also.

    But remember, a shower is a gift, not a right.  Someone has to offer to throw one.  Plenty of people get married without them.  
    doeydo[Deleted User]Blue_Bird
  • If you don't need physical items, don't have a shower. Have a luncheon, but don't have people spend their money on shit you don't need.

    peggerzzBlue_Bird
  • Asking someone to give you a shower, or to host a shower for you, is incredibly rude.  Don't do it.
    My daughter didn't have a shower.  Lots of brides don't get them.  Let go of this idea.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Blue_Bird
  • To the OP, I am in a similar situation. Same age and all the people involved do not live in the same town I do. Most of my family is 1500 miles away. I realize that someone has to offer to host a shower, no one has for me yet but I don't have a date set either. I also want the experience no matter how shallow, rude or selfish it might sound. There are lots of things I don't want to experience, however this is one that I do. I don't know what will happen, and I won't ask for one to be hosted for me. To the poster who said "don't have people spend money on shit you don't need" that isn't what a shower is about to me. A bridal shower is about the experience of being with the women who have shaped your life and will continue to in the future. It's about creating memories with these women, sharing stories, taking pictures, playing games, having a drink, sharing a laugh. Several of the showers I've been to have been luncheon, yet still bridal showers.

    If it's a part of the wedding that the bride doesn't care about it, great, don't have one..

    For those of us that do, there should be a reasonable way of having one. I'm willing to help with pretty much all aspects, food, décor, games, it doesn't have to be a surprise. I will travel to where ever is necessary, I just want to be able to have the memories.

    I'm thinking about getting married during the week. If this works out, I've thought about trying to have the bridal shower on Saturday or Sunday, letting all the guests know this so they could prepare accordingly. It just hit me that this could be an option. Just a thought since it might be easier for people to get here a day or two in advance than make a separate trip a few months before the wedding. Again, just a thought. It's way easier for me to travel than anyone else.

    I hope things work out for you. I wish I had more advice.

    tlc9615
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    edited July 2014
    Why are you reviving old zombie threads?
    AddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    It has been 7 months since the OP of this thread was even active, so it's not likely she will see your comment in a resurrected zombie thread.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Wow, sorry. I searched for bridal shower threads. Sorry it bothered you both so much. Geez.
    kirby400
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