Not Engaged Yet
My BF's mother is dying but we aren't even engaged yet! Help… (NEY)
Hi ladies! I hope you are all having a merry Christmas Eve
Ok, so I'm gonna sort of bring down the mood (sorry). My boyfriend, J's, mother has been in the hospital for the past four months fighting heart failure. Yesterday, we found out that she has no chance of living without a heart transplant, and even then, there is only a 5% chance that her body won't reject the new heart if she gets one in time. J's father left when he was a kid and his grandfather died of heart failure two years ago, so his mother is all that he has left. The reason we haven't gotten engaged yet is because J wants to keep saving money for the perfect engagement.
J and I really want his mother to be at our wedding, which we were planning for the summer, but I don't know if she will make it that long. Since we aren't officially engaged yet, it makes it hard to try and "move dates" since there is nothing set in stone. I want J to propose so that we can actually plan on getting married while his mother is still alive, but every time I mention it, he says that he doesn't want to get a cheap ring, which is all he can afford. I keep telling him that the money is not important but he is still putting it off to keep saving money.
I want his family to witness our forever and for his mother to see her only son walk down the isle, but he is thinking more about me and giving me the best. So, my question is, should I just drop the urgency and allow him to hold off on getting engaged until he can buy the "perfect" ring, or is there a way that I can let him know that his mother is more important than the fancy engagement/ wedding traditions and try to get things moving so his mother can take part in the biggest day of his life? Honestly, he could ask me with no ring and I would say yes because I just want to officially start planning for the rest of my life with him.
Also, have any of you ladies ever been through something like this with your SO and how did you help him through it? It breaks my heart to see him loosing someone who means so much to him.
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