A Tasteful Honeymoon Registry

livinlavida123

There's so much debate about registries and honeymoon registries when it comes to not being rude. Here's how we're doing ours to avoid being seen as rude:

We did set up a honeymoon registry through our travel agent. She will book any excursions which we've put on our registry at the time, without any fee - Win! We told our parents and bridal party that's what we really want contributed to if people asked them. We've lived together for a while now, and lived on our own before, so we don't need anything and would much rather savor an experience. That said, we're leaving it up to them to spread that word. We set up a very small registry at Target to make the hint, and our wedding website says this under the registries tab: 

"We have all the traditional things a new family could need, and your presence at our wedding and support of our marriage is all so much more than than any gift we could ever receive. If you still feel inclined to gift, please contact one of these people for some great ideas!

- my parents names

- his parents names

- travel agent's name & number

- registry store name

photokitty

alisha&adam said:

There's so much debate about registries and honeymoon registries when it comes to not being rude. Here's how we're doing ours to avoid being seen as rude:

We did set up a honeymoon registry through our travel agent. She will book any excursions which we've put on our registry at the time, without any fee - Win! We told our parents and bridal party that's what we really want contributed to if people asked them. We've lived together for a while now, and lived on our own before, so we don't need anything and would much rather savor an experience. That said, we're leaving it up to them to spread that word. We set up a very small registry at Target to make the hint, and our wedding website says this under the registries tab: 

"We have all the traditional things a new family could need, and your presence at our wedding and support of our marriage is all so much more than than any gift we could ever receive. If you still feel inclined to gift, please contact one of these people for some great ideas!

- my parents names

- his parents names

- travel agent's name & number

- registry store name

I was going to concede that you had found a pretty polite way to have a honeymoon registry until the bolded. This is not polite to post on your website. 

The good news is you can easily fix this and still be tasteful! If you delete the bolded and allow your guests to ask you or your family and WP where you are registered/ what you would like to receive, it is completely appropriate and polite to give the answer - We are saving for our honeymoon.

People know money is always an appropriate and appreciated gift, they do not need to be told on your wedding website.

 

GL!

delujm0

It might be a little weird to refer people to your parents for gift ideas.  I would just list the travel agent info (or a link to your registry if there is an online portal for that) and the link to the Target registry.  If you want to be cute about it you can say something like: "if you still feel inclined to gift...

You can make our honeymoon more special (link to travel agent info)

Or you can help us upgrade our home goods (link to Target registry)"

 

Personally, I do not believe that a honeymoon registry is rude as long as the people that are buying the items are actually buying you those items.  The rude thing is the deception involved in sites like Honeyfund, where your guests think they're buying you a couples massage for $250 but instead you just receive a check for like $230 due to fees, and they never know if you've gotten the massage or not.  Those registries do not make sense to me, as I'd think anyone would rather have just received a check for $250 directly.

 

Good for you for setting up a small physical registry - there are some people out there that will not, under any circumstances, buy anything other than physical registry home goods as a wedding gift.  Where I come from, most people give physical gifts at the shower (if you are having a shower you MUST have a physical registry, as that is the point of the shower) and then cash at the wedding.  So that is what we have planned for.

delujm0

I think it's generally Etiquette approved to list your registry info on the registry tab of your website.  It is not appropriate to list this informtaion on your invitations or on the home page of your website.

 

There's a bit of a line where people think it's just as rude to tell people not to bring your gifts as it is to tell them that you want gifts.  I don't think that your bolded statement is offensive.  I would just change it a bit (as i mentioned in my above post).

chibiyui

I prefer Delujun0 wording, to what you currently have. But if you have an online page for the travel  agent I don't see a problem putting it on the site because there are no fees involved.

photokitty

Etiquette says it is improper to ask for cash unpromted, or without soneone asking where you are registered or what to get you. Posting this on your website is asking for cash. You can do it, but it is not tasteful or polite, just own the fact and stop trying and justify it.

Fees make honeymoon registries deceitful ways to ask for cash, but any time you tell your guests upfront that you want cash you are being rude. If you do not mention it on your website and share the info when asked, that would be tasteful and proper.

GL

JoanE2012

alisha&adam said:

There's so much debate about registries and honeymoon registries when it comes to not being rude. Here's how we're doing ours to avoid being seen as rude:

We did set up a honeymoon registry through our travel agent. She will book any excursions which we've put on our registry at the time, without any fee - Win! We told our parents and bridal party that's what we really want contributed to if people asked them. We've lived together for a while now, and lived on our own before, so we don't need anything and would much rather savor an experience. That said, we're leaving it up to them to spread that word. We set up a very small registry at Target to make the hint, and our wedding website says this under the registries tab: 

"We have all the traditional things a new family could need, and your presence at our wedding and support of our marriage is all so much more than than any gift we could ever receive. If you still feel inclined to gift, please contact one of these people for some great ideas!

- my parents names

- his parents names

- travel agent's name & number

- registry store name

I think the bolded is strange.  As a guest, I don't want to have to call the couple's parents to get gift ideas.  And a travel agent's name and number?  Yeah.....I'm not calling them either.  Just have the physical store(s) you are registered at.  Surely you can find enough things to upgrade to create a decent registry.  Then, any cash you receive you can apply to your honeymoon on your own.  

Oh, and skip the cutsie saying that basically says "your presence is worth more than presents".   I hate that statement.  And it looks silly because you say that and then list 4 ways for guests to give you gifts!

doeydo

"A Tasteful Honeymoon Registry", now that's an oxymoron. 

kgd7357

We made a small BB&B registry (mostly for the shower) for the registry tab on the website then posted a tab about what we are doing on the honeymoon, hoping people would get the hint that cash is prefered. Maybe make a different tab about your honeymoon with a note at the bottom saying call travel agent to help make the honeymoon even better. Then keep your small registry on the registry tab. Just a thought.

hoffse

Honestly, I don't want to pay for your screwfest.  I just find it tacky.  It's sort of like lingerie registries.  Ick.  I don't want to buy your panties.  Likewise, I don't want to buy you a couples massage with edible body oil.

kmmssg

@doeydo - great minds think alike.  When I saw the title of this thread my first thought was, "now, there's an oxymoron for ya!"  Kinda like jumbo shrimp...

KatWAG

alisha&adam said:

There's so much debate about registries and honeymoon registries when it comes to not being rude. Here's how we're doing ours to avoid being seen as rude:

We did set up a honeymoon registry through our travel agent. She will book any excursions which we've put on our registry at the time, without any fee - Win! We told our parents and bridal party that's what we really want contributed to if people asked them. We've lived together for a while now, and lived on our own before, so we don't need anything and would much rather savor an experience. That said, we're leaving it up to them to spread that word. We set up a very small registry at Target to make the hint, and our wedding website says this under the registries tab: 

"We have all the traditional things a new family could need, and your presence at our wedding and support of our marriage is all so much more than than any gift we could ever receive. If you still feel inclined to gift, please contact one of these people for some great ideas!

- my parents names

- his parents names

- travel agent's name & number

- registry store name

Yup, still tacky.