Registering for a Parish

vmj23

Me and my fiance are both Catholic, although until recently did not attend church.  We've both made our sacraments but that was it.   I did not plan on getting married at a church but after much discussion between ourselves and with a priest, we have decided a Catholic wedding is what woudl be best for us    The priest is aware we live together  We have recenently started attending church and although the priest did not tell me we needed to join the parish, I would like to.  There is a form to complete and it asks for head of household, spouse, children, etc.   Do we each register invididually until married, or should we still register as 1 household even though we are not yet married?  

professorscience

I guess ask someone in the office, but it's probably fine to just go ahead and register together.

JBee85

You should register ASAP and individually. I'm surprised the priest is ok marrying you if you have not been attending mass until recently. Many priests are not ok with wedding a couple they do not recognize or if the couple does not have proof of being an active member of their church. I got in with my parents parish because the priest knew them and I had moved in with my parents from out of state. When you get married in the church, you are vowing to continue your faith and to raise your children as Catholics. Registration is how the priest keeps an attendance check if you and your FI are coming to mass. For my church, it was a requirement to register in order for me to get married there.

vmj23

@jbee85 - the priest is well aware we weren't attending, and of course wants to see us attending, but was more than welcoming to have us come back.  I made all my other sacraments at this church.  I plan on registering asap, just wasn't sure if i should register each of us seperately or as a household.    

gm5

My daugther and her fiance live together and both attend our family parish on a regular basis (every week), it is also her childhood parish (where she made all her sacraments).  She registered as an adult (no longer lives under my roof) and her and her fiance registered as a couple (different names of course as they are not married) under the same household.  Any Priest worth his collar will welcome with open arms anyone wishing to come into the church - under all circumstances.   

vmj23

@gm5 - thanks!    Our priest was very welcoming of us coming back.  I felt such support from him, even knowing we live together and haven't been attending.  Prior to meeting with him, i had such hesitation from what i read online.   People made it sound as if it was so difficult to marry at a church and that they would not be welcoming of all situations, but i am glad i sat with him and learned for myself that was not the case!   I just filled out 2 membership forms, 1 for each of us, but attached them and submited them together. 

gm5

Yeah! @jenni1221 :-)  We all have to start somewhere, and sometimes taking that first step is the hardest.. whether it's going back to church after an absence or just talking to a priest about things you consider private and between you and God.  There are always going to be people that will put roadblocks in your way, the key will be finding those that love, support, and help you no matter what - as in no strings attached.  As a mom of 4 (and grandma to 5 and one on the way) and who raised all my children Catholic (we are crazy active in the church) I have to say not one of my kids followed the "straight path" in regards to what we taught them and what the church taught them in premarital matters.  I'm not going to beat them up about it, because ultimately it's between them and God.  I think it's great you are going back to church and a decision you will never regret making.  You don't have to be registered in the parish/church you want to be married at but there is a fee and it typically costs double if you aren't registered.  And most probably you'll pick the same priest helping you now to officiate your ceremony.  In which case you'll get more one-on-one time with him and he will help you understand everything required.