Spouse tattoo- the kiss of death?

jenna8984

Happened to see online today that Kaley Cuoco's (from the Big Bang Theory) husband of 2 weeks got her name and wedding date tattooed on his forearm. They've only been dating for 3 months for cryin out loud.

Do you have a spousal tattoo? Would you ever get one?

I love tattoos, I have 5 and a sleeve. I plan to get them for my future children so I think I'd be ok with getting a spousal one around the 10 year marriage mark. By that point I think it's pretty clear whether this is lasting forever or not lol

JCBride2014

Neither Fi nor I have tattoos.  That said, I'm always annoyed when people have a problem with tattooing the spouse's name or getting some other wedding-related tattoo.  Once you're married, the working assumption is it will last forever.  I don't think it's fair to criticize a spousal tattoo because the tattoo is more "permanent" than the marriage might be... that's just disrespectful of their marriage.

That said, I would probably never get a tattoo, period.  So no I wouldn't get one.

ckel24

FI and I have a fair number of tattoos between us and we agreed that we will (most likely) never get spouse tattoos. The divorce issue aside, if one of us dies, the other will always have that tattoo and it could potentially make moving on harder and be off-putting to a future SO. His sister's ex wife wanted to get tattooed wedding bands and FSIL put her foot down on that (luckily, since they are now divorced and her ex wife is remarrying a man).

Now tattoos for your children, I'm all for that. FI's mom has full sleeves (tiniest, cutest woman you'd ever meet, covered in tattoos and rides a Harley) and she has FI's name on one forearm and FSIL's name on the other forearm, all surrounded by pretty flowers.

KeptInStitches

I'm not tattooed (very conservative part of the country, very conservative career field, and I'm scared of needles). That being said, tattoos for your kids - ok. Tattoos for your spouse - inadvisable in my opinion.

jenna8984

JCBride2014 said:

Neither Fi nor I have tattoos.  That said, I'm always annoyed when people have a problem with tattooing the spouse's name or getting some other wedding-related tattoo.  Once you're married, the working assumption is it will last forever.  I don't think it's fair to criticize a spousal tattoo because the tattoo is more "permanent" than the marriage might be... that's just disrespectful of their marriage.

That said, I would probably never get a tattoo, period.  So no I wouldn't get one.

Unfortunately, I have honest to God had friends who were cheating during their engagement. It's pretty safe to say they were not under the working assumption that it would last forever. It really sucks but it happens. And in the celebrity case I referred to, they've only been dating for 3 months....I think that significantly raises the potential divorce rate.

AddieL73

I would not get a spousal tat. My tattoo has meaning for me and me alone, and that will be the case for all my future ones as well. 

KerisaHarman21

i've never gotten a spouse or boyfriend tattoo, as far as i'm concerned the only names you get tattoo are family members or pets who have passed......My FH has talked to me about getting a tattoo on his ring finger instead of having his ring on all the time (he is a distributer of odwalla so it is possible to get his ring caught a lot) but even though we've been together for almost 5 years I still am leery about doing that, is that saying I doubt the relationship? No of course not I just know that A. it would be painful and B. he may decide that he doesn't like the tattoo he chose eventually and then he will be stuck with it and I will feel guilty for agreeing with him getting one, I definitely will not be getting one, personally I think finger tattoos are tacky and I will be wearing my rings. I'd rather he just not wear his ring while he is working ( I don't want him to scuff up his ring anyways) and just slip it on when we go out or he's not working, i'm the same way but i'll have it pinned to me somewhere since i'm going to be a nurse and it will be tough with gloves and constantly washing my hands. Anyways thats my stand on on it! Look at poor Khloe Kardashian she got one and well she did everything she could to support and stand by her marriage and now she has a reminder that no matter what she did she couldn't help her husband and now she has to get it removed. I feel bad for her.

cruffino

I want one, but I'm hesitant. Knowing me, I'll probably do it though.

doeydo

No, spousal tattoos are pretty stupid IMO.  

ShesSoCold

My FI is getting a tattoo for me when we come home from our honeymoon. It started as a joke but it's kind of our "compromise" - I'm taking his last name (impossible to spell and pronounce and sounds funny) and he's getting a tattoo for me. We're still looking into ring options for him (he's an electrician and can't wear metal) and if we can't find something that works for him, he's going to get his ring tattooed on too. 

I have one tattoo and it hurt so bad I thought the guy was amputating my foot. I'll never get another. 

jenna8984

@shessocold lol I promise they don't hurt that bad- the foot is one of the absolute worst spots. My entire arm didn't hurt at all, I chatted with the guy the whole time. 

My FI is also a mechanic who gets greasy, grimey hands all day and can't really wear a ring to work. We're getting him just a real cheap one to do the actual ceremony but he's never going to wear it again and I'm ok with that. We do kinda think the ring tats are trashy (think Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson!) 

kns1988

I've been getting a tattoo removed for over a year. You could not even begin to imagine the pain and the cost. 800 dollars so far for a 50 dollar spur of the moment tattoo that covers an inch by inch area. So no more tattoos for me ever! (I do have two others that I like, though)

ShesSoCold

I have an extremely low tolerance for pain and I pass out really easily. I got my ears pierced the other night and I got all sweaty and lightheaded and had to sit before I passed out. I'm a huge sally.

jdluvr06

I don't think you should get names tattooed on you unless they are your kids.that being said, my FI and I have matching tattoos on our wrist.

MaryGraceRich

I told FI that if we make it 50 years, we will get our rings tattooed on. I would get my childrens name on me though.

PrettyGirlLost

jenna8984 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Neither Fi nor I have tattoos.  That said, I'm always annoyed when people have a problem with tattooing the spouse's name or getting some other wedding-related tattoo.  Once you're married, the working assumption is it will last forever.  I don't think it's fair to criticize a spousal tattoo because the tattoo is more "permanent" than the marriage might be... that's just disrespectful of their marriage.

That said, I would probably never get a tattoo, period.  So no I wouldn't get one.

Unfortunately, I have honest to God had friends who were cheating during their engagement. It's pretty safe to say they were not under the working assumption that it would last forever. It really sucks but it happens. And in the celebrity case I referred to, they've only been dating for 3 months....I think that significantly raises the potential divorce rate.

Yeah and with the divorce rate as high as it is I think it is a very bad idea to spend a significant amount of money on permanent body art that requires expensive and painful laser procedures to remove.

I wish everyone the best of luck, but I don't think it is a good idea.  And it's not for me.  If I'm going to get a tattoo it will be something that has significance individually to me.

smalfrie19

I am not getting my FI name or our wedding date...but I am getting two that could be wedding or marriage related....I am getting water color hydrangeas tattooed under my collar bone and a lotus flower (D's favorite) on my lower right back. 

Vivandiere8

To me it's really just a bad idea when dating, and I would probably recommend people wait until after the vows are said. But after that the mind set should be till death do us part.

Lamiavita

My dad is an engineer, spends all day getting covered in grease and filth and playing with electrics.

He's always worn his wedding ring on a chain around his neck.

Just an idea for those who mentioned not being able to wear them.

I don't think I'd get a name tattoo'd, but I'd probably get something meaningful.

Jennycolada

I like the idea of getting something on the ring finger of my right hand. I'm thinking just a simple infinity symbol. If something happens to the relationship (which I'm not much worried about) then it's generic enough that I cannot see an issue with it.

I have other tattoos, as does Fi (although he's mentioned that he wouldn't get one, and I'm fine with that).

severmilli12

I would never get FI's name on me.  Not because I'm against spousal tattoos, but because I don't like name tattoos, period.  I would be fine with getting something that symbolizes our marriage or wedding, even the date.  I would also be fine with getting FI's first initial somewhere and have actually thought about doing that. But names...no.

Inkdancer

I am going to get a tattoo that symbolizes my family, and FI is part of that. Since my family lived in Japan for a long time, and FI calls me cherry blossom, I am going to get 2 koi fish swimming in a circle around a cherry blossom. But I have always associated cherry blossoms with my mom and grandfather, not just FI.

eileenrob

Tattoos aren't my thing, I wouldn't get one (spousal or otherwise).  Hubby has several but not a spousal one...I guess if he wants to get one someday he can, I would neither encourage nor stop him.

Emmy1493

jenna8984 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Neither Fi nor I have tattoos.  That said, I'm always annoyed when people have a problem with tattooing the spouse's name or getting some other wedding-related tattoo.  Once you're married, the working assumption is it will last forever.  I don't think it's fair to criticize a spousal tattoo because the tattoo is more "permanent" than the marriage might be... that's just disrespectful of their marriage.

That said, I would probably never get a tattoo, period.  So no I wouldn't get one.

Unfortunately, I have honest to God had friends who were cheating during their engagement. It's pretty safe to say they were not under the working assumption that it would last forever. It really sucks but it happens. And in the celebrity case I referred to, they've only been dating for 3 months....I think that significantly raises the potential divorce rate.

Yeah and with the divorce rate as high as it is

I think it is a very bad idea to spend a significant amount of money on permanent body art that requires expensive and painful laser procedures to remove.

I wish everyone the best of luck, but I don't think it is a good idea.  And it's not for me.  If I'm going to get a tattoo it will be something that has significance individually to me.

IN THE BOX:

I agree. I have a lower back tattoo and it means something to me. I would never get FI's name on my body. I look forward to being with him forever, but it's a pricey and very painful procedure to remove and I don't wanna chance it. He's def. not a tattoo person so he doesn't even have to think twice lol. 

Schatzi13

I seriously doubt it. My tattoos are for me, not for anyone else, including H. If someday I decide that I want something for me that happens to also have meaning for us, I'll get it. I can't think now of what that would possibly be.

I've also been around the "kiss of death" superstition enough that I'd probably feel a twinge about a spousal tattoo, even though I of course expect to be with H forever and don't judge others who have spousal tats.

HeatherKat

While I'm a firm believer that the only names you get tattooed on you are those of your children or dead people, I am considering getting a tattoo representing mine and FI's relationship. I want "Intret amicitiae nomine tectus amor." (Latin for "Love will enter cloaked in friendship's name" from Ovid's The Art of Love [I was a classical studies major in college and am a major geek :) ]) It fits perfectly for our relationship (he got put in the friendzone HARD when we first met)! 

Emmy1493

Please PLEASE PLEASE read this lol. I thought of this article on FB after reading this.

http://thechive.com/2012/02/23/girl-tattoos-boyfriend-of-1-week-on-her-arm-a-facebook-thread-ensues-12-photos/

Nov182015

I have my guy's name on my shoulder. It is small, and in a light blue. We've been together for a few years now, and have a daughter together. Our relationship has taught me many things. Even if things were to end, I would be grateful for the things that we have done, the things that we learned together, and of course, our daughter.

bubblegum1309

When my friend got engaged her fiance tattooed her initials on his ring finger as his engagement ring... she ended up calling it off 2 months before the wedding ! He had to move back home across the country and 3 months later she brought a new BF to my wedding. That is the only time I have seen this in person... and clearly went horribly wrong!

I have 1 tattoo for my aunt that passed very unexpectedly (Her daughter was 17 at the time and they were supposed to get their first tattoos together when she turned 18, so I went with her when she was 18) , I have talked with my sister about getting a sister tat.... but besides that I don't know if I would ever get another one!

nicoann

Nobody expects to get divorced, otherwise they wouldn't be getting married in the first place.  So, no matter how in love you are or how strongly you think that this is the marriage that will last, there will always be that risk.  Every person who has ever tattooed a name, thought the relationship was permanent, but many of them didn't work out that way.  And it can be a pretty devastating, permanent reminder if it doesn't work.

FI and I both have parents with 40+ year marriages and believe we were taught the tools to work through anything and make it last.  We talked about tattoo rings since he also can't wear ring to work (electrician & welder), but decided against it. For now, my FI just keeps his ring in his wallet, so it's always with him. We are looking into getting a ring that may be more suitable to his career that he could wear more often, like ceramic or carbon fiber, but he still may choose to not wear it.

I love the concept of the permanent symbol of commitment, but it is always a risk. And like PP said, even if you don't break up, spouse could pass away or something too. Then future relationships would have to look at the name or symbol of your past love. 

FiancB

We each have a tattoo and we each have ideas for more tattoos that we want. Spousal hasn't come up. I don't care for name tattoos anyway but I wouldn't mind for us to each get a matching one or something that is related to our relationship. But I don't care for names, or portraits for that matter, superstition aside.