NWR: Poor manners

Rebl90

So I personally feel that good manners are essential to daily living and social interaction. I am beginning to learn that the belief I have is not one shared by many.

I currently live with my FSIL & FBIL because there house is literally 5 minutes away from the university I attend and the "rent" they charge me for room and all meals is practically nothing, it's less than the gas would cost to drive from my parent's house 45 minutes away to school every day, so it's a perfect solution until the wedding, right?

WRONG.

Ok, overall they are amazing people, especially for letting me stay here for the entire school year and making me feel like a part of the family.  Its awesome because my FI will come over most nights after work and we will hang out with them and play with their adorable twin babies.  Here's the thing though, the longer I love here, the longer I realize the complete lack of what I consider basic manners.  FBIL walks around belching all day long.  Every. Single. Day. It's not a medical condition, he just eats too much and drinks too much soda throughout the entire day. I swear he is in the kitchen 90% of the day (he's a SAHD). I can hear it in practically every room of the house and it is never followed by "excuse me".  NEVER.  I've even caught FSIL doing the same now!

So I deal with this at "home" and at the beginning of the year I started working in an office on-campus, and one of my co-workers will do the same thing - overload on soda and not excuse himself.  I get it, everyone burps, but in the workplace? All freaking day? (Yes, he's a fellow  college student but he prides himself on being "the most professional student worker in the office" because he's 26, a whopping 2 years older than me).

Am I crazy for being this bothered by a lack of manners? Because I am seriously losing it. 

wajohnson09

Rebl90 said:

So I personally feel that good manners are essential to daily living and social interaction. I am beginning to learn that the belief I have is not one shared by many.

I currently live with my FSIL & FBIL because there house is literally 5 minutes away from the university I attend and the "rent" they charge me for room and all meals is practically nothing, it's less than the gas would cost to drive from my parent's house 45 minutes away to school every day, so it's a perfect solution until the wedding, right?

WRONG.

Ok, overall they are amazing people, especially for letting me stay here for the entire school year and making me feel like a part of the family.  Its awesome because my FI will come over most nights after work and we will hang out with them and play with their adorable twin babies.  Here's the thing though, the longer I love here, the longer I realize the complete lack of what I consider basic manners.  FBIL walks around belching all day long.  Every. Single. Day. It's not a medical condition, he just eats too much and drinks too much soda throughout the entire day. I swear he is in the kitchen 90% of the day (he's a SAHD). I can hear it in practically every room of the house and it is never followed by "excuse me".  NEVER.  I've even caught FSIL doing the same now!

So I deal with this at "home" and at the beginning of the year I started working in an office on-campus, and one of my co-workers will do the same thing - overload on soda and not excuse himself.  I get it, everyone burps, but in the workplace? All freaking day? (Yes, he's a fellow  college student but he prides himself on being "the most professional student worker in the office" because he's 26, a whopping 2 years older than me).

Am I crazy for being this bothered by a lack of manners? Because I am seriously losing it. 

You are most definitely not crazy. This is my co-worker too. He belches all day, has a nasty smoker's cough that he never covers his freaking mouth for, and all kinds of odd body noises. Nice guy, just makes me batshit sometimes.

Rebl90

Oh you poor thing, you have it worse than I do!

Cookie Pusher

Ugh, that would drive me nuts. I excuse a lot of gross behavior in "home" settings, but once you get to work, you're in public!

I work in an office condo, and there's a shared ladies room for the whole floor. I don't get why people feel the need to leave toilet paper all over the floor, not flush the toilet completely (or at all), or leave water all over the sink and floor. It's so disgusting. Where did common courtesy go?!

JennyColada

I do feel like, in the big scheme of life, belching is hardly worth getting worked up over.

Maybe I just have crappy manners, but I do not feel the need to say "excuse me" due to gas or flatulence in front of my partner.

I get that you're a guest, but you're family. I've figured at this point gas shouldn't be embarrassing anymore.

The only time I'd find it worthy of annoyance is if they did it right in my face or if it was disruptive to a conversation.

Inkdancer

Occasionally, I don't mind. But all the time? Gross.

ei34

Well, at least it shows that your FBIL thinks of you like family, and not a house guest, if he's comfortable doing that in front of you.  If you're in the same room he should excuse himself, but if you're hearing it from another room he's not in the wrong.

The co-worker would tick me off.  Once you're in public you have to excuse yourself.  Gassiness and flatulence can't always be helped but your co-worker should definitely at least say "excuse me" afterwards. 

Rebl90

eileenrob said:

Well, at least it shows that your FBIL thinks of you like family, and not a house guest, if he's comfortable doing that in front of you.  If you're in the same room he should excuse himself, but if you're hearing it from another room he's not in the wrong.

The co-worker would tick me off.  Once you're in public you have to excuse yourself.  Gassiness and flatulence can't always be helped but your co-worker should definitely at least say "excuse me" afterwards. 

Yeah, I agree with you all about when its in the other room, then the person typically assumes it goes unheard. However, I would much rather not be thought of as family if it means dealing with it during meal times and other times when people are gathered in close quarters. I just don't get it at all.  I told my FI that if he picks up the habit he'll be wishing he didn't :P

jdluvr06

Really I think you are getting annoyed over nothing. It isn't a big deal.

Amyzen83

Lol! My fi has this secret code that only his mom and I know about it, but I guess you all know about it now too, but that's ok we are all strangers. When he burps he says "excuse me" and when he farts he says "pardon me". Sometimes though he will randomly say "pardon me" to get my reaction.

Amyzen83

FYI it took me months before I even felt comfortable farting in his presence, until one day I couldn't hold it in and I let one rip. He thought it was the funniest thing and he was all "Pardon You."

MaryGraceRich

I am usually incapable of farting in front of Fi unless I am alseep. However the other day I was laying on the couch on my stomach with my legs over FI lap. My cat decided he was going to launch himself on top of my back and landed in just the right spot to make me fart. The fart scared the cat and we were hysterical laughing.
Then I excused myself.

AddieCake

I despise when people don't excuse themselves. I excuse my burps even when I am home alone. It's just second nature to me to do it, so I do. I would be just as annoyed as you. 

Rebl90

jdluvr06 said:

Really I think you are getting annoyed over nothing. It isn't a big deal.

Yeah, no, I'm not. Sitting at dinner with someone who belches through an entire meal isn't "nothing"

AddieL73 said:

I despise when people don't excuse themselves. I excuse my burps even when I am home alone. It's just second nature to me to do it, so I do. I would be just as annoyed as you. 

I do this too, it's definitely second nature!

MaryGraceRich said:

I am usually incapable of farting in front of Fi unless I am alseep. However the other day I was laying on the couch on my stomach with my legs over FI lap. My cat decided he was going to launch himself on top of my back and landed in just the right spot to make me fart. The fart scared the cat and we were hysterical laughing. Then I excused myself.

Okay, now that is just plain funny  Accidents happen, I get that, we're all human. I just cant stand the general disregard for other people. 

hellohkb

I can understand burping at home because I wouldn't be too worried about having the best etiquette when I'm just home in my pajamas. I wouldn't be thrilled if they were doing it constantly doing it at the dinner table, but eh. What are you gonna do? It's their home. 

At work, that would irritate the hell out of me. People should have a certain level of professionalism.

abbyj700

It's their home - and they are being nice enough to let you stay with them for practically nothing so I can see what your BIL might be thinking. Either way - it's gross.

Does he KNOW it bothers you? Perhaps treat him like family - laugh at it - make a response (not a mean one) so that maybe he thinks twice. People can't change behavior that bothers you if they don't know.