UPDATE: She legitimately thinks she is a bridesmaid
So last night I went out with one of my really old friends. We were friends in high school, lost contact during college, but then she moved back home after she graduated and we have been talking very casually since she got back, seeing each other about once a month. Last night she kept asking me about what I wanted for the wedding, my vision and other typical questions that people ask. She is one of those people who likes to involve herself in everything, so I hold back from telling much about the wedding, I am very vague. But last night she was asking what my wedding colors are and I told her I hadn't decided yet and she says "oh, let me know when you do so I can buy a dress". I let her know that she didn't have to wear a coordinating color, she could wear whatever she wanted. She ignores this and says "what are you envisioning for the BMs dresses". I told her again, I am only having a MOH and my FI's sister, we are keeping the WP very small so they can wear whatever they want. But she did not let up the entire night and started asking me what I wanted for my bachelorette party and saying how she is going to hold my dress when I pee and has been reading up on typical BM duties. I just ignored it and changed the subject.
We were never very close friends and I was originally not even going to invite her to the wedding. But she keeps saying how excited she is to go because she was there the day I met my FI. So I figured that I would just invite her and let her be excited for the wedding. But now she is pretty adamant about being in the WP, despite the numerous times I have told her our WP will be the MOH, BM, and then family. She doesn't really ask, she just assumes that she is in the WP and talks to me like I should be giving her all these WP instructions, it's weird. I thought about giving her a "job" like holding hairspray, lip gloss or something so that she feels important and involved in the wedding. I feel like that is rude though, she is an adult not a child and I shouldn't have to think of busy work for her to do. Should I straight up tell her she isn't a BM? I don't want to upset her when she is so excited for the wedding but at the same time I think her excitement is a little strange because we aren't that close.
UPDATE: I told my FI about this and he is very disturbed by this whole situation. Also, I got a text from her today asking if there was anything I was looking forward to hearing in her speech... Anyway, my FI is now insisting that she be removed from the guest list. Which I am totally not opposed to because, like I said earlier, I wasn't going to invite her in the first place. Any suggestions on what I do now? I never explicitly said she was invited or anything that would make her believe she would be, this was another thing that she assumed just like being in the WP. FI said I should just tell her that we are not able to invite friends due to our large families, but that is a lie and I do not like lying to people. I have asked for advice from my MOH and my mom and both have just laughed and said "good luck". Any suggestions are so appreciated.
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