Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Smashing the Glass

Hi All,

I was wondering if any one had any good sites or places where I can buy the glass for the smashing of the glass during our ceremony. I would love not to just have the glass in the bag the rest of my life but rather something I can use. I also don't want to spend a crap ton on this.

Thanks!
Jen

Re: Smashing the Glass

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
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    I am confused how you are going to use a broken glass?
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
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    I was always under the impression that the glass is discarded after. Is it common to keep it?
  • It is customary to keep it. The glass is in a bag when the groom "smashes" it with his foot.
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
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    This site might have some good recommendations: http://www.traditionsjewishgifts.com/keepsake.html
  • I also found this Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MazelTovDesigns

    Pretty cool!!
  • You guys are awesome! Thanks so much!!
  • My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    pinkshorts27
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon
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    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    This is exactly why when my FI said "Wouldn't that be fun", I shut down that thought immediately. I went to Catholic school and we learned about different religions, so this is what we were taught.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    edited February 2014
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
    No, let's not lose that "it's your opinion."  It absolutely is a productive way of resolving your desire to paint your opinion on this issue as fact.

    I don't know how to be any clearer.  There is no universal regulation for what kind of glass is broken.  I never said that it was universally accepted to use a lightbulb; I said that it was common in some circles, particularly in more liberal ones.  I know Chabad, for example, frowns on using a lightbulb.  You do realize that there are different types of rabbinic Judaism, and that these different groups, and even different communities and synagogues, have different opinions on matters of ritual, yes? 

    As for the bolded, that's a disingenuous statement, since nobody here is saying that the breaking of the glass is about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy.  That has absolutely nothing to do the discussion at hand. 

    One can absolutely find the completion of a ritual designed to invoke sorrow satisfying. 

    You are perfectly welcome to your opinion that it is inappropriate to use a lightbulb, but that is, as I pointed out, your opinion, and far from universal on the subject. 



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
    No, let's not lose that "it's your opinion."  It absolutely is a productive way of resolving your desire to paint your opinion on this issue as fact.

    I don't know how to be any clearer.  There is no universal regulation for what kind of glass is broken.  I never said that it was universally accepted to use a lightbulb; I said that it was common in some circles, particularly in more liberal ones.  I know Chabad, for example, frowns on using a lightbulb.  You do realize that there are different types of rabbinic Judaism, and that these different groups, and even different communities and synagogues, have different opinions on matters of ritual, yes? 

    As for the bolded, that's a disingenuous statement, since nobody here is saying that the breaking of the glass is about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy.  That has absolutely nothing to do the discussion at hand. 

    One can absolutely find the completion of a ritual designed to invoke sorrow satisfying. 

    You are perfectly welcome to your opinion that it is inappropriate to use a lightbulb, but that is, as I pointed out, your opinion, and far from universal on the subject. 
    Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, "that's your opinion" does NOTHING to resolve any situation.

    We can agree to disagree and in fact, most of the time where you're concerned, that's exactly what I do.

    Yes, I fucking well do know about different types of Judaism, BECAUSE I AM JEWISH, so your "You do know" crap also does not resolve anything other than being sarcastic and snarky when it was not necessary or helpful.  It does not a thing to provide "clarity."  It provides nothing but hostility.  And some people do have the mistaken notion, and have said so in other threads, that they do think of the breaking the glass ritual as about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy. 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
    No, let's not lose that "it's your opinion."  It absolutely is a productive way of resolving your desire to paint your opinion on this issue as fact.

    I don't know how to be any clearer.  There is no universal regulation for what kind of glass is broken.  I never said that it was universally accepted to use a lightbulb; I said that it was common in some circles, particularly in more liberal ones.  I know Chabad, for example, frowns on using a lightbulb.  You do realize that there are different types of rabbinic Judaism, and that these different groups, and even different communities and synagogues, have different opinions on matters of ritual, yes? 

    As for the bolded, that's a disingenuous statement, since nobody here is saying that the breaking of the glass is about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy.  That has absolutely nothing to do the discussion at hand. 

    One can absolutely find the completion of a ritual designed to invoke sorrow satisfying. 

    You are perfectly welcome to your opinion that it is inappropriate to use a lightbulb, but that is, as I pointed out, your opinion, and far from universal on the subject. 
    Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, "that's your opinion" does NOTHING to resolve any situation.

    We can agree to disagree and in fact, most of the time where you're concerned, that's exactly what I do.

    Yes, I fucking well do know about different types of Judaism, BECAUSE I AM JEWISH, so your "You do know" crap also does not resolve anything other than being sarcastic and snarky when it was not necessary or helpful.  It does not a thing to provide "clarity."  It provides nothing but hostility.  And some people do have the mistaken notion, and have said so in other threads, that they do think of the breaking the glass ritual as about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy. 
    Since you appear to be physically incapable of admitting that you're not right about something it doesn't surprise me that pointing out that something you claim to be fact is merely your opinion doesn't resolve anything for you.  You continue, as usual, to claim that your opinion is universal fact.

    Since you're Jewish I'm frankly surprised you don't know more about the tradition or the variety of interpretations.  And really, you're complaining about people being sarcastic and snarky?  You? 

    Nobody in THIS thread said anything about the ritual being about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, therefore your bringing it into this conversation was either deliberate misdirection or you got confused by the Miss Manners opinion you referenced, which did indeed describe it as being for luck.  It's neither here nor there in regards to this conversation, but I agreed with those - including you - who argued that having a child participate in the ritual of the breaking of the glass for bonding purposes would be inappropriate. 



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
    No, let's not lose that "it's your opinion."  It absolutely is a productive way of resolving your desire to paint your opinion on this issue as fact.

    I don't know how to be any clearer.  There is no universal regulation for what kind of glass is broken.  I never said that it was universally accepted to use a lightbulb; I said that it was common in some circles, particularly in more liberal ones.  I know Chabad, for example, frowns on using a lightbulb.  You do realize that there are different types of rabbinic Judaism, and that these different groups, and even different communities and synagogues, have different opinions on matters of ritual, yes? 

    As for the bolded, that's a disingenuous statement, since nobody here is saying that the breaking of the glass is about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy.  That has absolutely nothing to do the discussion at hand. 

    One can absolutely find the completion of a ritual designed to invoke sorrow satisfying. 

    You are perfectly welcome to your opinion that it is inappropriate to use a lightbulb, but that is, as I pointed out, your opinion, and far from universal on the subject. 
    Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, "that's your opinion" does NOTHING to resolve any situation.

    We can agree to disagree and in fact, most of the time where you're concerned, that's exactly what I do.

    Yes, I fucking well do know about different types of Judaism, BECAUSE I AM JEWISH, so your "You do know" crap also does not resolve anything other than being sarcastic and snarky when it was not necessary or helpful.  It does not a thing to provide "clarity."  It provides nothing but hostility.  And some people do have the mistaken notion, and have said so in other threads, that they do think of the breaking the glass ritual as about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy. 
    Since you appear to be physically incapable of admitting that you're not right about something it doesn't surprise me that pointing out that something you claim to be fact is merely your opinion doesn't resolve anything for you.  You continue, as usual, to claim that your opinion is universal fact.

    Since you're Jewish I'm frankly surprised you don't know more about the tradition or the variety of interpretations.  And really, you're complaining about people being sarcastic and snarky?  You? 

    Nobody in THIS thread said anything about the ritual being about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, therefore your bringing it into this conversation was either deliberate misdirection or you got confused by the Miss Manners opinion you referenced, which did indeed describe it as being for luck.  It's neither here nor there in regards to this conversation, but I agreed with those - including you - who argued that having a child participate in the ritual of the breaking of the glass for bonding purposes would be inappropriate. 
    None of the bolded was necessary here-or elsewhere.

    I don't and have never claimed that my opinion was fact.  I stated that I think using a lightbulb rather than a glass cheapens the ritual.  You went into all this shit with your religious studies, and you know something?  Given that you make a claim about what you think a rabbi said in the Talmud, you might check elsewhere besides just your particular teachers to find out if they agree with you.  The fact that I've never heard of the particular story you reference might mean that many, many other Jews haven't either.  You are not an authoritative source of information on Judaism either, so it's hypocritical of you to try to call me out for it-especially if you're not even Jewish.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My officiant suggested we use a lightbulb wrapped in a paper bag.  Less likely to go through the groom's foot, and he said it often makes a more satisfying "pop" sound than glasses do.  Lightbulbs are pretty cheap!

    He also said there are kits you can buy (or typically, people buy you) that come with the glass, then you send it to the company and they make you a frame or mezuzah out of it.
    I think the bolded is a reason why I'd use a glass instead.  The custom of breaking the glass isn't about luck.  Many people don't seem to know it, but it symbolizes sorrow and the destruction of the temple.  That's something I wouldn't want to look for a "bargain" or "reduce costs" on.
    There is a lot of speculation on why the glass is broken, but the reasons given do generally have something to do with tempering happiness (based on two accounts in the Talmud where wedding celebrations were getting out of hand and a rabbi broke a vase or glass to calm things down).  Breaking a lightbulb is common in some circles (generally more liberal ones) because it breaks more easily and makes a more satisfying sound. 
    This is a view of the Jewish wedding and that particular tradition:

    http://www.aish.com/jl/l/m/48969841.html

    By the way, Miss Manners says to use a real glass, not a lightbulb, in the Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And worrying about how "satisfying" the sound is kind of cheapens the moment.  It is about sorrow, after all.
    I know all about the tradition of the breaking of the glass.  I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies.

    As I said, there is a lot of speculation about why the glass is broken, and the tradition stems from two specific situations in the Talmud where rabbis saw that things were getting out of hand at theirs sons' weddings and broke something to get everyone's attention.  Generally it's interpreted as a reminder of sorrow in general or the destruction of the Temple in particular.

    As for the bolded, that's your opinion.  Obviously some rabbis disagree with you.  If the audience can't tell that the glass is broken they can't appreciate the moment of sorrow.  It's also used because the glass is thinner and easier to break.  There is no universally recognized requirement that the glass broken be any specific type of glass, and in fact there have long been debates over what type of glass is best. 
    Let's lose the "that's your opinion" because it's not a productive way of resolving any issues here.

    Thing is, if breaking a glass is done for a sorrowful reason, then it's not supposed to provide "satisfaction."  Yes, what type of glass is used is "opinion," but as Miss Manners points out, G-d can see what kind of glass is being broken even if the guests can't.  And if debates are going on about it, then it would seem that using a lightbulb or some "easier" glass to break isn't a universally accepted way of carrying out the tradition either.  It's not about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
    No, let's not lose that "it's your opinion."  It absolutely is a productive way of resolving your desire to paint your opinion on this issue as fact.

    I don't know how to be any clearer.  There is no universal regulation for what kind of glass is broken.  I never said that it was universally accepted to use a lightbulb; I said that it was common in some circles, particularly in more liberal ones.  I know Chabad, for example, frowns on using a lightbulb.  You do realize that there are different types of rabbinic Judaism, and that these different groups, and even different communities and synagogues, have different opinions on matters of ritual, yes? 

    As for the bolded, that's a disingenuous statement, since nobody here is saying that the breaking of the glass is about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy.  That has absolutely nothing to do the discussion at hand. 

    One can absolutely find the completion of a ritual designed to invoke sorrow satisfying. 

    You are perfectly welcome to your opinion that it is inappropriate to use a lightbulb, but that is, as I pointed out, your opinion, and far from universal on the subject. 
    Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, "that's your opinion" does NOTHING to resolve any situation.

    We can agree to disagree and in fact, most of the time where you're concerned, that's exactly what I do.

    Yes, I fucking well do know about different types of Judaism, BECAUSE I AM JEWISH, so your "You do know" crap also does not resolve anything other than being sarcastic and snarky when it was not necessary or helpful.  It does not a thing to provide "clarity."  It provides nothing but hostility.  And some people do have the mistaken notion, and have said so in other threads, that they do think of the breaking the glass ritual as about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy. 
    Since you appear to be physically incapable of admitting that you're not right about something it doesn't surprise me that pointing out that something you claim to be fact is merely your opinion doesn't resolve anything for you.  You continue, as usual, to claim that your opinion is universal fact.

    Since you're Jewish I'm frankly surprised you don't know more about the tradition or the variety of interpretations.  And really, you're complaining about people being sarcastic and snarky?  You? 

    Nobody in THIS thread said anything about the ritual being about fun, luck, bonding, or anything happy, therefore your bringing it into this conversation was either deliberate misdirection or you got confused by the Miss Manners opinion you referenced, which did indeed describe it as being for luck.  It's neither here nor there in regards to this conversation, but I agreed with those - including you - who argued that having a child participate in the ritual of the breaking of the glass for bonding purposes would be inappropriate. 
    None of the bolded was necessary here-or elsewhere.

    I don't and have never claimed that my opinion was fact.  I stated that I think using a lightbulb rather than a glass cheapens the ritual.  You went into all this shit with your religious studies, and you know something?  Given that you make a claim about what you think a rabbi said in the Talmud, you might check elsewhere besides just your particular teachers to find out if they agree with you.  The fact that I've never heard of the particular story you reference might mean that many, many other Jews haven't either.  You are not an authoritative source of information on Judaism either, so it's hypocritical of you to try to call me out for it-especially if you're not even Jewish.
    RE bolded #1: ...which is an opinion.

    RE bolded #2: Mar son of Ravina and Rav Ashi, to be specific. 

    Berakhot 30b-31a: (Berakhot is the first tractate of Zeraim, the first order of the Mishnah)

    MISHNAH. ONE SHOULD NOT STAND UP TO SAY TEFILLAH SAVE IN A REVERENT FRAME OF MIND.13  THE PIOUS MEN OF OLD14  USED TO WAIT AN HOUR BEFORE PRAYING IN ORDER THAT THEY MIGHT CONCENTRATE THEIR THOUGHTS UPON THEIR FATHER IN HEAVEN. EVEN IF A KING GREETS HIM [WHILE PRAYING] HE SHOULD NOT ANSWER HIM: EVEN IF A SNAKE IS WOUND ROUND HIS HEEL HE SHOULD NOT BREAK OFF.

    GEMARA. What is the [Scriptural] source of this rule? — R. Eleazar said: Scripture says, And she was in bitterness of soul.15  But how can you learn from this? Perhaps Hannah was different because she was exceptionally bitter at heart! Rather, said R. Jose son of R. Hanina: We learn it from here: But as for me, in the abundance of Thy lovingkindness will I come into Thy house, I will bow down toward Thy holy temple in the fear of Thee.16  But how can we learn from this? perhaps David was different, because he was exceptionally self-tormenting in prayer! Rather, said R. Joshua b. Levi, it is from here: Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.17  Read not hadrath [beauty] but herdath [trembling]. But how can you learn from here? perhaps I can after all say that the word 'hadrath' is to be taken literally, after the manner of Rab Judah, who used to dress himself up before he prayed! Rather, said R. Nahman b. Isaac: We learn it from here: Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.18  What is meant by 'rejoice with trembling'? — R. Adda b. Mattena said in the name of Rab: In the place where there is rejoicing there should also be trembling. Abaye was sitting before Rabbah, who observed that he seemed very merry. He said: It is written, And rejoice with trembling? — He replied: I am putting on tefillin.19  R. Jeremiah was sitting before R. Zera who saw that he seemed very merry. He said to him: It is written, In all sorrow there is profit?20  — He replied: I am wearing tefillin. Mar the son of Rabina made a marriage feast for his son. He saw that the Rabbis were growing very merry, so he brought a precious cup1  worth four hundred zuz and broke it before them, and they became serious. R. Ashi made a marriage feast for his son. He saw that the Rabbis were growing very merry, so he brought a cup of white crystal and broke it before them and they became serious. The Rabbis said to R. Hamnuna Zuti at the wedding of Mar the son of Rabina: please sing us something. He said to them: Alas for us that we are to die! They said to him: What shall we respond after you? He said to them: Where is the Torah and where is the mizwah that will shield us!2

    I don't believe I ever mentioned whether or not I am Jewish, by the way.



  • TheGrimReaperTheGrimReaper
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    edited February 2014

    Are we allowed to tell people what's proper or unnecessary to post now?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    edited February 2014

    Are we allowed to tell people what's proper or necessary to post now?

    Apparently so-because there's lots of snark going around.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Jenna0419 said:
    Hi All,

    I was wondering if any one had any good sites or places where I can buy the glass for the smashing of the glass during our ceremony. I would love not to just have the glass in the bag the rest of my life but rather something I can use. I also don't want to spend a crap ton on this.

    Thanks!
    Jen
    @Jenna0419, to answer your question, my friend (who is a Conservative rabbi) had the glass shards made into a mezuzah.  I think someone posted a link to an etsy site that makes them, but I've seen them advertized all over the internet so you can shop around and find the best price/best work.



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    image
    Is there any point to your posts other than being snide?
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