Alternate things for flower girl to toss? and young flower girl

JedandEricaAA

For my wedding, my niece will be a brand new 2 year old. She is advanced and very smart for her age. Has anyone else had a young flower girl? What was your experience with it? If she doesn't make it down the aisle it isn't a big deal to me. Also, what alternate things besides flower petals can she toss? my colors are purple, grey and yellow. It is an inside wedding in a classy barn and my wedding isn't very rustic. The ceremony and reception space are the same so it can't be anything too messy.

Jen4948

Most of us tend to feel that flower girls and ring bearers should not be younger than 3, regardless of how "advanced and very smart for their age" they are.

First, they can't make it up and down the aisle on their own-they are usually just too small and someone has to carry them.  For safety reasons, and because many places prohibit it, we don't advocate the use of wagons or carriages.

Second, they don't really understand what they are being asked to do.  Kids that young don't understand what weddings are, and they won't remember participating later (in the short-term).

Third, since the reasons for including them seem to be that the adults feel it's "cute," the "cuteness" element can be captured by just having them in photos with everyone else, rather than trying to shoehorn them into "roles" in the ceremony.

Fourth, trying to get a kid that young down the aisle and back, assuming they can even walk it, could take a very long time (remember, they're trying to move tiny bodies down what seems to them long spaces), and if the wedding ceremony has to fit into a tight block of time, it's not indicated.

Fifth, the kid is surrounded by tons of new people smiling big smiles and cooing at them, and they may feel shy, have a meltdown, or otherwise respond to what is for them a totally unfamiliar situation in undesirable ways.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but I would not have your niece as a flower girl.  Just have her in photos.

doeydo

Perhaps she can just carry something like a pomander

JedandEricaAA

The main reason that I am not going for flower petals is because of cost. Those little flowers are expensive!! Also, my niece has already been in a wedding as a flower girl. And she is running already. My wedding will be in September so she still has 7 months to go.

jneen101

What about hay?

vmj23

you may be able to find fake petals inexpensive at the dollar store or somewhere else. 

chibiyui

I'd do a pomander or small bouquet like @doeydo suggested.

PrettyGirlLost

Are you even allowed to throw things at your venue?  Many ceremony and reception venues do not allow flower petals, rice, glitter, sand, or even bubbles to be used because of the messes they make and the risk of damage to the venue.

cookie0803

doeydo said:

Perhaps she can just carry something like a pomander

This is what we did. Our florist made one for our niece out of silk flowers and put a pretty butterfly on it so she could keep it. The last time I saw a flower girl under 3 left to walk down the aisle alone with a basket of petals, it took at least 5 mins. She stopped after every step, chose the perfect petal for that particular spot, sat, placed the petal, got back up, took another step, and repeated the process.

AddieCake

I think she's too young to do it, but I know you don't care about that. 

I would go with a pomander. 

I'm amused by your venue, and this is in no way a dig at YOU, but at the venue and its creators itself. I don't understand the concept of a classy barn. This is a thing now? 

PrettyGirlLost

AddieL73 said:

I think she's too young to do it, but I know you don't care about that. 

I would go with a pomander. 

I'm amused by your venue, and this is in no way a dig at YOU, but at the venue and its creators itself. I don't understand the concept of a classy barn. This is a thing now? 

Yes, actually it is.

Barns are being totally retrofitted on the interior to look like very nice, clean, modern banquet halls with indoor plumbing and heating and the works.  But the exterior still looks like a barn.

erinlin25

my flower girl was almost 2. Her mom was my best friend/ one of my bridesmaids. My girls walked a big path before getting to the actual aisle, so I had my flower girl walk the path with her mom (who went last of my bridesmaids), and when they got to the aisle it was up to mom if she went alone or continued walking with her daughter.  My FG was a little ham and happily went solo but got so excited with the attention that she ran back up the aisle back to her mom (excited, not scared or anything), so her mom carried her down the aisle with her and then handed her off to grandma to sit with in the ceremony.  Since she was so little, we just got her a cute little basket of flowers to hold, so no throwing ...except her mom accidently said "throw the flowers, FG" when they got to the aisle and FG chucked the basket down the aisle.  It was awesome and made me laugh & relax. 

There us no right or wrong way to do it.  Her mom will Know whether or not she is "up for the job," so I am sure will give guidance.  And if she gets scared or does not want to walk, either have mom on standby to walk with her, or carry her or just not walk in the processional at all. 

This was my FG getting her basket:





 

AddieCake

PrettyGirlLost said:

AddieL73 said:

I think she's too young to do it, but I know you don't care about that. 

I would go with a pomander. 

I'm amused by your venue, and this is in no way a dig at YOU, but at the venue and its creators itself. I don't understand the concept of a classy barn. This is a thing now? 

Yes, actually it is.

Barns are being totally retrofitted on the interior to look like very nice, clean, modern banquet halls with indoor plumbing and heating and the works.  But the exterior still looks like a barn.

Well, I just don't get it at all.

MairePoppy

JedandEricaAA said:

If she doesn't make it down the aisle it isn't a big deal to me. 

This is the part that's important. You understand that two year olds are notorious for being unpredictable. You are flexible and if she decides she's not walking, you have an adult that will sit with her, right? No pressure on the child.

I wouldn't have her throw anything, because it will have to be cleaned up. The pomander is cute. Or have her carry a teddy bear, stuffed animal, pinwheel, or little purse with surprises inside. 

JedandEricaAA

I totally understand that 2 year olds are unpredictable. If she doesn't make it down its totally chill. I'm going to put mama down at the end of the aisle with her Nonnie (blanket) and so she has that to go to She loves pretty clothes and fluffy skirts so I think she will be excited to get a new outfit at least.

WildMagelet

I would agree with a teddy or a pinwheel for a child that young.

I'd be afraid she'd try and rip the pomander apart (although that would be cute/funny...it would also be messy and just one more thing to clean up afterwards).

lalatory

As a toddler teacher I understand that she is advanced. I have some 2s that can speak full sentences almost and follow directions very well. As a back up I would have Mom or Dad, if not in the bridal party to have an aisle seat so if she gets nervous ( big crowds can freak even the most advance kiddos out), she can run to Mom. If Mom or Dad are in the bridal party maybe Grammy/Grandpa can be the "cat catcher". Having a 2 follow directions is like telling your cat to get down from a table. Hilarious but not always productive. As for something to bring down the aisle have her wear a flower crown instead of sending her down with something. If you want something in her hand, as her flower girl present she could have a build a bear flower girl friend to drag with her. 2s love their babies.:D Good Luck! 

CMGragain

I strongly suspect that brides who are having a "rustic" wedding in a "classy" barn did not grow up doing real chores on a working farm.

jalyndani

@CMGragain Agreed. A barn is housing for livestock.  Even the cleanest barns on the planet are not considered classy. Personally, if you've never worked or lived on a ranch/farm you have no business having a rustic wedding or barn wedding ("classy" or not). It's a way of life, people, not a trendy fad.