Tipping

Drewsgirl31

Soooooo, my aunt and I just got into it over tipping. She says I shouldn't because the vendors own their businesses and are already being paid, I thought I should be tipping. Whose right lol?!?! I have: Church free of $175 tip for pastor? DOC is $450 she's a friend of mines mom who has started her own party planning business Caterer is about $1,000 for food, linens and possible ice cream bar Bartender is an old high school acquaintance who has her bartending license $100 for beer, wine, and pop Dj is $300 Photographer is $500 My cousin is video taping the ceremony for me I'm giving him $100 and a free night of babysitting Hairdresser is doing mine and my daughters hair for free And I haven't decided on a make up artist or doing my own make up yet so there might be that too. Any help would be much appreciated!

Artemischief

I think your aunt is right. I have heard that you should not tip they people who own their own businesses. You should definitely tip any wait staff though, but not the caterer. It doesn't matter if they are friends or not. You are paying these people for services rendered at your wedding. For your DOC though it might be nice to send flowers a week or so later as a thank you. I don't know that I've adequately answered your question. I think you'll get many more answers on the etiquette board.

wabanzi

Not sure if I am 100% correct, but here are our planned tips.

• *Caterer--no
  
• *Waitstaff-yes (plus a meal at reception)
  
• *Bartenders-yes (plus a meal at reception)
  
• *DJ-Yes (about $100) unless he deviates from our play list --then No--and I'm deadly serious about that-Play Michael Jackson & say goodbye to your tip!; (plus a meal at reception)
  
• *Photographer-No (but she is hardly charging anything --only $300 which included the engagement shoot, so I am planning on over paying her by $200) (plus a meal at reception)
  
• *DOC-No (but will send a thank you card 
  
• *Officiant-No, but he is a friend so we are making a donation to his favorite cause in his honor (plus a meal/drinks at reception as our guest)
  
• *Student photographer (for photo booth) and Student videographer -Yes, We are paying $25 per hour with a $25 tip for each of them (plus a meal at the reception)
  
• *Hairdresser, Make up Artist, Spa services, Nail salon-Yes.  I normally tip 10-20% of the cost of services all the time anyway (depending on how good they are).  This includes the trials & pre-wedding "pampering."
  

I based it off of TK cheat sheet here: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet.aspx

FiancB

Hm I don't know if meals for waitstaff are really necessary. I used to work at a country club and when we put on a wedding, there was just enough extra that we could have some too. That was a buffet though, and that place had a policy where we got free meals at work anyway. Maybe it's different other places. 

wabanzi

FiancB said:

Hm I don't know if meals for waitstaff are really necessary. I used to work at a country club and when we put on a wedding, there was just enough extra that we could have some too. That was a buffet though, and that place had a policy where we got free meals at work anyway. Maybe it's different other places. 

Yes, if it is at a restaurant/hall with other food option and the wait staff/bartenders work there, then it is not necessary.  Ours is a historical venue and the only food option is the food being provided by our caterer.  So if we don't feed the people we hire, they will not eat.

But, meals should be provided by the people you hire and bring to the venue--such as DJ, photographer, etc.

CheleLyn

I will be tipping is our bar tender...she's a single mom and what she has agreed to for a fee is less than she'd make actually working her bar tending job. SHe is also in the catering count and will be given a full meal.

Our caterer figures in a 20% gratuity for clean up and service, so that's already figured in. 

Photographer owns her own business and sets her own prices. I'm not tipping her but she and her assistant are included in the catering count and will be given the same food as everyone else, as opposed to "vendor meals".

Same with our DJ...well, he's more a dj friend who is in charge of music.

Our cake baker is also a friend of ours who does cakes. I told her I didn't want a friend discount, just her usual vendor price. She is also a guest.

Our hair is being done for free. She just asked we provide the pins and hairspray. One of my BM works at the salon, so I asked her what the salon owner might like as a thank you.

Make up is being provided at a crazy low price bc she knows one of the BM...it may as well be free. So I will be giving her a tip that is equal to what she is charging for the whole bridal party.

I think that's it.

melbelleup

I'm tipping priest, dj, photographer, photobooth, bartender. the rest it depends on how I feel, if cake is amazing, will send a tip, if flowers are amazing, will send a tip. So it's up in the air. Will be tipping for my hair, make up, and nails like I always would.