Anyone else feel weird about being "given away"/walking down the aisle? Vent...

KBlovesBG

This will be my second wedding, FIs first. I originally wanted to go away FI and I to get married, he didn't, so we compromised and are now having a DW nearby with our parents, siblings and a few close friends. I wanted to keep the DW guest count low because I personally don't like all of the "bride" type attention and I really think I just feel awkard because it is my second wedding. I also feel awkward about having my dad walk me down the aisle, because I have been married before and partly because FI and I already live together which was very upsetting to my parents.

Does anyone have any ideas to make the ceremony more just about "us" or should I just choke it up and walk down the aisle with my dad??

And now for some more venting....I posted earlier on the etiqutte board about this...and sure got some opinions back...We're having the small DW and it's small basically because I don't like to make a big scene about all this wedding hoopla, the following week my parents have offered to host a luncheon for both of our extended families only and so now FI and I feel like we should have some type of celebration wtih all of our friends that won't be at the DW (it will be to celebrate our marriage but also to celebrate our new home we are building). Most all of the posters said they dislike these types of wedding parades as they think one big event should be done and that should be it to celebrate the wedding. Which I understand. I guess I am stuck in a hard spot because I truly want something small but I also want to please everyone else. I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this or had celebrations following their actual wedding ceremony?

photokitty

If you don't want your dad to walk you down the aisle you can walk alone or you and FI can walk in together. Nothing says dad has to walk you down.

It is fine to have an after DW celebration, but you should call it just that - a celebration. Don't try and make it a wedding reception, as that will be the small reception with the guests from your DW. Second time brides don't condone multiple wedding ceremonies or receptions any more than the E board does. If they want to throw a party that's fine. You could alway call it a house warming and leave the wedding element out entirely.

Sorry, but but I think you are making a big scene and hoopla by having 3 separate events. I'm confused why you would do 3 if you want to avoid all the hoopla…

If you want something small than you should talk it over and compromise with your FI. Stop jumping through hoops to please your families if that's the rock and hard place. Either you want your friends and family at the wedding or you don't. If you don't want them present at your wedding - let your parents host a family reunion luncheon and you can invite your friends over for a housewarming. 

MrsMcCaw

Your dad would be escorting you down the aisle not giving you away. When you get to the groom have your dad shake his hand, give you a kiss and take his seat. 

I also think it's a bit much to have three celebrations. It seems contradictory to say you are having a small DW because you don't like all the "bride" type attention and then do so many celebrations.

MikesAngie

There are many options to entering the ceremony site, you can have your dad escort you, walk alone, walk with your FI, start alone and meet your FI half way. 

Multiple parties to celebrate your marriage seems a bit gift grabby to me.  If your parents want to host a luncheon as a celebration of your marriage let them.  You don't HAVE to do anything else.  If you want to have a housewarming once your house it completed and you have moved in do that - but do not associate it with your marriage at all. 

octoberbride9

I am walking in on my own for exactly this reason. My dad walked me down the aisle at my first wedding & asked if he could this time. I respectfully told him that I want to walk in on my own & this way he can just relax and enjoy the afternoon and sit with his wife.

greeneyezkat

This is the 2nd marriage for both of us, however my first wedding experience was kinda taken from me by my xmother in law. Anyhoo, my dad will walk me down the aisle and both of my parents will "give me away". This is one and only thing that is a must during my ceremony oh and being announced HUSBAND & WIFE instead of man and wife. I feel like it sets the tone of what we are building.

Istoleahalo

my dad passed away 2 years ago so i am just walking myself down.  When the pastor asks "Who gives this bride..." My mom is going to stand and say "Her family and I"   I thought about not even doing the whole "giving away" thing but we eventually decided to go that route.

cleveralias

We aren't doing the "giving away " thing at all.  Both of my parents are gone so it is pretty pointless.  You don't HAVE to do anything that you don't wish to do.