Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift Etiquette

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Re: Gift Etiquette

  • FOR ANY LURKING FUTUE BRIDES:

     

    The entire purpose of a bridal shower is for your guests to "shower" you with physical gifts.  Actual things that you open in front of them, as that is the main event at a shower.  Asking for cash, or having a cash (or honeymoon) registry is not only rude in general, but it is completely unacceptable for a shower.  If you don't "need" or want physical gifts, decline a shower.  Or, if someone really wants to throw you one, request that you have a bridal tea or luncheon, as those events are not specifically for the purpose of giving and receiving gifts, they are just events that you have to hang out with your friends and family before your wedding.

     

    OP, no way would i go to that shower.  And just because i'm kind of a B, i would also get her a physical gift for the actual wedding.  It would be like a nice vase or something, but it would NOT be cash (dislaimer: i generally write a check for the actual wedding, but rudeness like this sometimes deserves to be avenged). :-)

  • I usually do both. A gift off the registry for the shower and cash at the wedding.
    Unfortunately for bridal shower I am attending next month the bride registered for cash.
    I normally give a gift at the shower and cash at the wedding. 

    If I got a shower invite registering for cash I would decline.   I barely like shower as it is, certainly not going to attend cash giving party.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • antotoantoto member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited February 2014
    delujm0 said:

    FOR ANY LURKING FUTUE BRIDES:

     

    The entire purpose of a bridal shower is for your guests to "shower" you with physical gifts.  Actual things that you open in front of them, as that is the main event at a shower.  Asking for cash, or having a cash (or honeymoon) registry is not only rude in general, but it is completely unacceptable for a shower.  If you don't "need" or want physical gifts, decline a shower.  Or, if someone really wants to throw you one, request that you have a bridal tea or luncheon, as those events are not specifically for the purpose of giving and receiving gifts, they are just events that you have to hang out with your friends and family before your wedding.

     

    OP, no way would i go to that shower.  And just because i'm kind of a B, i would also get her a physical gift for the actual wedding.  It would be like a nice vase or something, but it would NOT be cash (dislaimer: i generally write a check for the actual wedding, but rudeness like this sometimes deserves to be avenged). :-)

    In addition to all that, I really enjoyed the silly tradition things at my shower - my FMIL got SO excited when I purposefully cut 2 of the ribbons, haha - and I'm excited to hold my ribbon bouquet for my rehearsal! 

    She wont be able to do any of that...
    image
  • Normally I would order a nice gift (or two small gifts) off the registry and then give them a check at the wedding itself.  If I were in your situation I would eaither decline the shower invite, or get her something ugly, cheap and useless for her shower and just gush over how much I thought she would like it.
  • delujm0 said:

    FOR ANY LURKING FUTUE BRIDES:

     

    The entire purpose of a bridal shower is for your guests to "shower" you with physical gifts.  Actual things that you open in front of them, as that is the main event at a shower.  Asking for cash, or having a cash (or honeymoon) registry is not only rude in general, but it is completely unacceptable for a shower.  If you don't "need" or want physical gifts, decline a shower.  Or, if someone really wants to throw you one, request that you have a bridal tea or luncheon, as those events are not specifically for the purpose of giving and receiving gifts, they are just events that you have to hang out with your friends and family before your wedding.

     

    OP, no way would i go to that shower.  And just because i'm kind of a B, i would also get her a physical gift for the actual wedding.  It would be like a nice vase or something, but it would NOT be cash (dislaimer: i generally write a check for the actual wedding, but rudeness like this sometimes deserves to be avenged). :-)


    I'm a huge fan of the "oh no you didn't" gift in the case of these kinds of faux pas.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • image

    Also, if no one has read the blog post that spawned this image. Go do so. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
    http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/
    image



    Anniversary
  • Am I being a bitch to hope that no one shows up at the cash shower? 


  • chibiyui said:
    image

    Also, if no one has read the blog post that spawned this image. Go do so. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
    http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/
    I am crying with laughter. This blog is my new favorite.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • Give her a shoebox overflowing with Monopoly cash!  That's what she means, right?  Because she loves board games?  That has to be it  *sweats*
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Mr. Bean Flipping the Bird
  • delujm0 said:

    FOR ANY LURKING FUTUE BRIDES:

     

    The entire purpose of a bridal shower is for your guests to "shower" you with physical gifts.  Actual things that you open in front of them, as that is the main event at a shower.  Asking for cash, or having a cash (or honeymoon) registry is not only rude in general, but it is completely unacceptable for a shower.  If you don't "need" or want physical gifts, decline a shower.  Or, if someone really wants to throw you one, request that you have a bridal tea or luncheon, as those events are not specifically for the purpose of giving and receiving gifts, they are just events that you have to hang out with your friends and family before your wedding.

     

    OP, no way would i go to that shower.  And just because i'm kind of a B, i would also get her a physical gift for the actual wedding.  It would be like a nice vase or something, but it would NOT be cash (dislaimer: i generally write a check for the actual wedding, but rudeness like this sometimes deserves to be avenged). :-)

    Ah ha!  There you go again.

    ;-)
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • delujm0 said:

    FOR ANY LURKING FUTUE BRIDES:

     

    The entire purpose of a bridal shower is for your guests to "shower" you with physical gifts.  Actual things that you open in front of them, as that is the main event at a shower.  Asking for cash, or having a cash (or honeymoon) registry is not only rude in general, but it is completely unacceptable for a shower.  If you don't "need" or want physical gifts, decline a shower.  Or, if someone really wants to throw you one, request that you have a bridal tea or luncheon, as those events are not specifically for the purpose of giving and receiving gifts, they are just events that you have to hang out with your friends and family before your wedding.

     

    OP, no way would i go to that shower.  And just because i'm kind of a B, i would also get her a physical gift for the actual wedding.  It would be like a nice vase or something, but it would NOT be cash (dislaimer: i generally write a check for the actual wedding, but rudeness like this sometimes deserves to be avenged). :-)

    Ah ha!  There you go again.

    ;-)

    Ha!  This I actually WOULD do.  But it's not immature to give a bride a generous gift, right? :-)

  • When I first read that blog entry, I could have died happy in that moment. It was so perfect.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @MrsMarende - Is this the same bride with the pricy bachelorette party?

  • kasmith1 said:
    @MrsMarende - Is this the same bride with the pricy bachelorette party?

    One and the same! 

    To top it all off I just called to book a room ( the wedding is 2.5 hours from me) and it $393.69 per night. 

    That right there solidified my decision to decline the shower and I will just be giving cash at the wedding.
  • chibiyui said:
    image

    Also, if no one has read the blog post that spawned this image. Go do so. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
    http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

    OMG - I hadn't read that in quite some time and everyone wants to know what is so funny (at work).  I just told them "Beyonce".
  • I usually do both. A gift off the registry for the shower and cash at the wedding.
    Unfortunately for bridal shower I am attending next month the bride registered for cash.
    What????  I have never even heard of that!  LOL
  • OP, PLEASE, for the love of pete, do not go to the shower and give her anything!

    And if it were me and I had to spend almost $400 dollars on a hotel for a bachlorette (not to mention what I'm sure will be another few hundred on actual activities based on how "cash grubby" this bride is) I would not give her anything but a card on her wedding expressing my joy surrounding her getting married. (Oh and I would so not be surprised if witnessing a money dance was in your future.)

    Maybe, if I was lucky enough, she would ask me why I didn't get her a gift (because I can only assume she is rude enough to ask) and then I could give her a piece of my mind.

     

  • Yes quite literally cash. 

    Registry is on wanderable.com and include:

    Cash for Honeymoon - not even hiding it as in buy us a dinner here or there it's literally like $5000 limit and you can gift towards it. 

    Target gift cards up to $2000

    Cash towards a King size mattress $2000

    Cash towards furniture up to $5,000


    This is not a shower I'd be attending. 
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