BM selection regrets

kat & matt

My wedding is coming up pretty soon - 61 days to be exact. My sister is my MOH, and I have 2 bridesmaids:  my best friend from college, and a relatively new friend I met at work (over a year). The only one who lives near me is the new friend from work.

 A few months ago a good friend of mine asked to throw me a bridal shower (my only shower). She has had more involvement in my wedding than all of my bridesmaids put together. She was just married last May so she may be going through wedding withdrawal. I never asked her to be a BM because, I'm embaressed to say, I wasn't in hers. I wasn't being trying to be childish or petty, but I just thought it would be awkward. 

At this point I know it's too late to make any changes. I suppose I feel guilty for not asking her to be in my wedding since she's doing so much for me, especially since my own BM's aren't even throwing me one. 

Rant over. Thanks.

OBX2011

While it is nice that this friend is throwing you a bridal shower and offering her assistance, understand that nothing is required from your bridesmaids, even a shower or to help plan your wedding.  You don't choose your bridal party based on who can help plan your wedding or who is going to offer more help.  You choose your bridesmaids based on your relationships with them.  

Yes, it is too late to make changes.  If you want help planning, go to your fiance.  And again, be gracious that someone is throwing you a party b/c a lot of brides don't even get that.

CMGragain

There is absolutely no reason for you to ask her to be a bridesmaid unless you love her and want her to be with you at the altar.

kat & matt

Thanks,  ladies. The guilt was killing me but I'm feeling better now. 

SP29

Agree with the above.

For your friend who is throwing you the shower, you could get her a small, but nice gift to thank her for her help. 

It's nice to have friends who want to help you out . Many of my girlfriends, even though I had one MOH and 1 BM, helped me out in some way, shape or form, without me asking them for any help. They are great people, and I would do the same for them, not expecting anything from it because they are my friends. Heck, if I had asked them all to be in my WP I wouldn't have had many people sitting at the guest tables! :P

The biggest thing I took away from my wedding, is that DH and I have great people in our lives who love and support us. 

abbyj700

What SP29 said. Just be thankful for all of the wonderful people in your lives who come out of the woodwork offering their love and talents. My wedding isn't until November but we're already getting offers for help, planning, etc - and while I kinda felt guilty in some instances - now I've just said "hey - let's be grateful instead!"