How do I word this on the invitations?

lindseyanne1

Our wedding is all being held at one venue.  However, the site for the ceremony is much smaller than the site for the reception.  We are getting married at my great grandmothers childhood farmstead, it's almost 150 years old.  This place is so special to me and that is why I opted not to find a different venue.  We will only be able to invite about 80 people to the ceremony but are inviting 170 to the reception.  I hate having to pick and choose who comes to what but for lack of space I have to.    But that being said, do I make separate invites for those being invited to the everything and those being invited to the cocktail hour and reception? I have no idea what I'm doing here.  Here's what I have for the everything invites...

Together with their parents

name

and

name 

Joyfully invite you to our wedding

Date

Time

Place

Cocktail hour and Reception to follow

Now how do I word it for only inviting people to the cocktail hour and reception??

Maggie0829

lindseyanne1 said:

Our wedding is all being held at one venue.  However, the site for the ceremony is much smaller than the site for the reception.  We are getting married at my great grandmothers childhood farmstead, it's almost 150 years old.  This place is so special to me and that is why I opted not to find a different venue.  We will only be able to invite about 80 people to the ceremony but are inviting 170 to the reception.  I hate having to pick and choose who comes to what but for lack of space I have to.    But that being said, do I make separate invites for those being invited to the everything and those being invited to the cocktail hour and reception? I have no idea what I'm doing here.  Here's what I have for the everything invites...

Together with their parents

name

and

name 

Joyfully invite you to our wedding

Date

Time

Place

Cocktail hour and Reception to follow

Now how do I word it for only inviting people to the cocktail hour and reception??

No, no, no, no, no.

You cannot do this.  This is a tiered wedding and is very rude.  The only way for this to work is if you have an intimate, private ceremony with immediate family only (meaning mom, dad, siblings and their SOs and maybe grandparents) and then have a big reception.

But in no way is it okay to invite 80 people to only the ceremony and then another 90 to the reception.

So you have to make a decision.  Invite only the 80 people or get married in the reception room with all 170 guests in attendance.

Think about what would happen if your reception guests arrive early and see that your ceremony is still going on?  They are going to feel like you only wanted them at your reception for the gift and that you really don't care about them.  Or what happens when during the reception people talk about your ceremony, which does happen quite often, and those that weren't invited to that portion over hear them?  They too area also going to feel like shit.

Inkdancer

If the site is very dear to you, why not have ceremony and reception all in one place? Just have people seated at their tables, do the ceremony, and then let the cocktail hour start.

I am doing ceremony in one spot, then having everyone go somewhere else for the cocktail hour, then bringing them back to find the original room transformed for the reception. Could you do something like that? Then you will be able to fit everyone.

Jen4948

Invite everyone to everything.  Use the following wording:

Together with their parents

name

and

name 

Joyfully invite you to our wedding  request the pleasure of your company
as they are united in marriage

Date

Time

Place

Cocktail hour and Reception to follow

The cocktail hour is the beginning of the reception, so there is no need to list it on the invitation.

CMGragain

You must invite everyone to the entire event.  What you are proposing is very rude.

AddieCake

Never mind...I had a reading fail.

QueerFemme

lindseyanne1 said:

Our wedding is all being held at one venue.  However, the site for the ceremony is much smaller than the site for the reception.  We are getting married at my great grandmothers childhood farmstead, it's almost 150 years old.  This place is so special to me and that is why I opted not to find a different venue.  We will only be able to invite about 80 people to the ceremony but are inviting 170 to the reception.  I hate having to pick and choose who comes to what but for lack of space I have to.    But that being said, do I make separate invites for those being invited to the everything and those being invited to the cocktail hour and reception? I have no idea what I'm doing here.  Here's what I have for the everything invites...

Together with their parents

name

and

name 

Joyfully invite you to our wedding

Date

Time

Place

Cocktail hour and Reception to follow

Now how do I word it for only inviting people to the cocktail hour and reception??

I agree with Maggie. What you are doing is horribly rude.  Don't do it.   Either have a small, private ceremony with just your immediate family (20 or less people) and then your larger reception, or invite everyone to everything.  Even with a small private ceremony, you will have guests who will have hurt feelings.  But, it's certainly more acceptable than inviting almost half to the ceremony, but the other half just didn't quite make the cut.

I realize that the location is special to you, but you can use it in another way.  Take pre-wedding photos there.  Do a photo shoot there the day after your wedding in your dress.  If someone is throwing you an engagement party, you can host that there.  But, what you can't do without coming across as incredibly selfish, is having your dream wedding but being really offensive to half of your guests in the process.

Being a grown up means making grown up decisions with consequences. If you really have your heart set on a venue that only holds 80 people, then that's how many you invite.

JoanE2012

lindseyanne1 said:

Our wedding is all being held at one venue.  However, the site for the ceremony is much smaller than the site for the reception.  We are getting married at my great grandmothers childhood farmstead, it's almost 150 years old.  This place is so special to me and that is why I opted not to find a different venue.  We will only be able to invite about 80 people to the ceremony but are inviting 170 to the reception.  I hate having to pick and choose who comes to what but for lack of space I have to.    But that being said, do I make separate invites for those being invited to the everything and those being invited to the cocktail hour and reception? I have no idea what I'm doing here.  Here's what I have for the everything invites...

Together with their parents

name

and

name 

Joyfully invite you to our wedding

Date

Time

Place

Cocktail hour and Reception to follow

Now how do I word it for only inviting people to the cocktail hour and reception??

Please don't do this.  It's incredibly rude.  How would you feel if you found out you were important enough to come to the reception but not important enough to witness the actual ceremony.