How to invite Coworkers

Layla1212

So my fiance and I want to invite most (but not all) of our coworkers to our wedding. There are a few issues though and we are unsure how to go about them. We both are part of management at our jobs that are open 7 days a week until late in the evening. This being said, clearly not everyone will be able to make it/take off for our wedding, some might have to come late in the night once our stores are closed. Since we do not want everyone that we work with at our wedding, we clearly can not just put up the invite in the breakrooms for everyone to see. We also don't want to do individual invites since my work especially has a LOT of coworkers that we would want to come. My fiance thought we could just personally talk to each coworker and invite them by word of mouth, but then how do I know whos actually coming & when. Clearly not everyone can take off for our wedding so people may be coming in shifts (some only might be able to make it for the ceremony, some only for part of dinner, others only coming for the dancing portion). What is the best way to handle this so that we are able to invite those we want, not rubbing it in anyones face who we might not want at the wedding, but also so that i have a pretty acurate head count for our seating arrangement (since we are having sections for friends and sections for coworkers).

CMGragain

Layla1212 said:

So my fiance and I want to invite most (but not all) of our coworkers to our wedding. There are a few issues though and we are unsure how to go about them. We both are part of management at our jobs that are open 7 days a week until late in the evening. This being said, clearly not everyone will be able to make it/take off for our wedding, some might have to come late in the night once our stores are closed. Since we do not want everyone that we work with at our wedding, we clearly can not just put up the invite in the breakrooms for everyone to see. We also don't want to do individual invites since my work especially has a LOT of coworkers that we would want to come. My fiance thought we could just personally talk to each coworker and invite them by word of mouth, but then how do I know whos actually coming & when. Clearly not everyone can take off for our wedding so people may be coming in shifts (some only might be able to make it for the ceremony, some only for part of dinner, others only coming for the dancing portion). What is the best way to handle this so that we are able to invite those we want, not rubbing it in anyones face who we might not want at the wedding, but also so that i have a pretty acurate head count for our seating arrangement (since we are having sections for friends and sections for coworkers).

The polite way to invite guests to your wedding is to mail them an invitation.  It doesn't make any difference if they are co-workers, employees, or realtives.  They deserve their own invitation.  You are also obligated to invite their husbands/FIs/significant others.  That rule doesn't change because they work with you.
Posting general invitations on a board at work is rude.  Don't do this.
I worked retail when I was a bride.  I solved the problem by having a late evening wedding so more people could attend.

LondonLisa

I would be offended if I got a wedding invitation by word of mouth only- it screams B-List to me. Frankly, I would not consider myself invited until I received an actual invitation. You must send one to every adult/couple you want at your wedding. And this is the only way to make sure to get accurate RSVPs.

Inviting coworkers can create a bit of a sticky situation, but there are things that you can do to avoid an incident and hurt feelings:

1.) The best way to not make this a workplace issue is to have a clear divide on personal/ workplace time. Only discuss your wedding with invited coworkers on personal time and not in the workplace. If an invited coworker brings it up at work, just say "Sorry, we couldn't invite everyone and I don't want to hurt any feelings so I don't want to chat about this at work.  Why don't I give you a call after work/ go out for a coffee and we can chat about this away from the office."

2.) You must post invitations to their home address (do not give them out at work).

3.) You need to be careful about inviting people who report to you/ are in your chain of command- they could interpret it as they MUST buy you a gift etc. If you get together with them socially outside of work events, that is a good gauge. Otherwise, it may seem like a solicitation for gifts.

Jen4948

Invite those co-workers, together with their SOs, that you really want to invite (presumably, you have a social relationship with them outside of work) by sending invitations to their home.  If you're not inviting everyone in your office/department, do not discuss your wedding plans at work and tell any co-worker who tries to address a wedding issue with you at work, "Call me after work and I'll be happy to talk to you about this, but I'd rather not discuss it here at the office."

Viczaesar

If you're going to invite them you need to invite them in exactly the same way that you invite the rest of your guests - with their SOs and with a physical invitation, mailed to their house.  Start discreetly gathering addresses of those you wish to invite.

MyNameIsNot

If you care about them enough to invite them to your wedding, get their home address and s/o's name, and mail them an invitation.  Tacking up an invitation at work is rude no matter who you're inviting.  

A word of caution if you are management.  Inviting only some subordinates or any at all may get you into trouble.  If you are inviting anyone you supervise, run it by HR first.  You could be perceived as inappropriately fraternizing with the staff or with choosing favorites.  

mlg78

You mail them an invite just like everyone else. All that you wrote about scheduling stuff is irrelevant. Let them RSVP like any other person would and...voila! You know who is coming. You're seriously overcomplicating things for no reason.

huskypuppy14

Why do people think coworkers can be treated like second class citizens? I never understand this! If these people are your friends, they should be invited like any other friend. If they are not your friends, why are you inviting them?  Yes, and their SO needs to be invited as well.