Registry and Gift Forum

One registry ok? No luxury items?

abaron3abaron3 member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
edited February 2014 in Registry and Gift Forum

Two questions in one discussion, if that's ok.

The first: I continually see couples who have signed up for 3-4 registries being the average. My FI and I only have 1 (Crate and Barrel). If that's all we need, is that appropriate? What happens if it gets bought out?

The second: Most couples I know also register for fine china and linens. Is this necessary, or can we opt out of this? We frankly don't have the space nor the need for such luxuy at the moment..

 

image

Re: One registry ok? No luxury items?

  • Both of those things are just fine. Don't fill up a registry with stuff you don't want, just to have it there. But I would advise thinking ahead on a few things. You may not need some stuff right now, but in a year or two you might be glad you had it. Stuff like extra sheets and towels and really good cookware will wait for you to need it.  And, most people I know don't register for fine china or silver anymore anyway, so no one will miss it. If people ask, you can tell them where your registry is, or that you're saving up for whatever (honeymoon, house, pet unicorn, etc).
  • If people ask, you can tell them where your registry is, or that you're saving up for ...pet unicorn, etc).

    Dude! Fi is ALWAYS making jokes about "we're not unicorn rich" (example: "I bought us something fun at the store today!" "Is it a unicorn?!" "No, don't be silly, we're not unicorn rich.").

    If only I'd known, marriage is the answer!
  • We're just trying not to be frivalous or fill up a rather small apartment with things that we won't use. Thanks for the input though!

    For the after-wedding completion discount, is it worth putting furniture on the registry? Or does that look like you're expecting guests to really buy those items? "We're starting a home together," after all, is a very different message than "Help me puchase a sofa!"

    image
  • AprilH81AprilH81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2014
    abaron3 said:

    We're just trying not to be frivalous or fill up a rather small apartment with things that we won't use. Thanks for the input though!

    For the after-wedding completion discount, is it worth putting furniture on the registry? Or does that look like you're expecting guests to really buy those items? "We're starting a home together," after all, is a very different message than "Help me puchase a sofa!"


    @abaron3 For the furniture I would probably wait until closer to the wedding to add it to the registry.  Also, check the fine print, I think you can use the completion discount on your ENTIRE order even if it wasn't originally on the registry.  I know it worked for me, but furniture may be an exclusion.
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • @AprilH81 Good point about the fine print. I wasn't able to find anything online that discussed what the discount card could be used for. I should probably just go into the store and check. Thanks!
    image
  • Crate & Barrel gives you a discount card that you can use for anything in the store, so you don't need to put furniture on your registry to use the completion discount.
  • I'm always in the minority on this.  But when I buy a wedding gift, I'm going to spend $100, I'm not going to give you cash, and I don't want to buy you a veggie peeler and garlic press.

    So if you don't have china, crystal, appliances, or other things in my price range that appeal, I will probably go off-registry and buy you something that you might consider "not practical."

    I would bet that if people in your circle do the 3-4 registry thing, and these registries continually get a lot of traffic, then your circle is filled with people like me.

    H and I invited 300 people to our wedding.  We received less than $400 in cash.

    So yeah.  You don't have to do anything, but if you are in a physical-gift-giving circle you WILL get physical gifts whether you register for them or not.  The point of registering, of course, is it directs people to items that are consistent with your tastes and/or needs.  I suggest at least taking a moment to think about what you will do with 6 crystal platters and 15 picture frames before you choose not to have a somewhat generous registry (if these are the norm in your circle).
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I was wondering about what happens when the registry gets bought out too. We did a BB&B registry with ~70 items, no china or silverware, but it does have new cookware (so excited to throw away my college pots), which is a more classic wedding gift. About half of it was bought for the shower, with a lot of the smaller gifts combined. My family is cash givers (NY, NJ, CT people), but we have no idea about his (he is the first wedding), or our friends. Does it make sense to try to add more gifts? We worked pretty hard to come up with a registry that we really want, but don't need much more. We also don't want to end up with totally random stuff. At what point would you add more?

    OP, sorry for the mini hijack, but it sounds like our questions are related.

  • abaron3abaron3 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2014
    hoffse - We're only inviting 130 and I'm guessing that (due to distance) only about 75 will show up. Even if all 130 people came, I want to make sure the items we actually need are prioritized as opposed to, say, getting 2 toasters and 5 china sets but only 1 set of flatware? 

    @kgd7357 - I'm thinking maybe it'd be best to monitor it...? I'm not certain though. And the mini hijack is fine. That's what these forums are for, right?
    image
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We only had 1 registry.

    Most stores give you an template of sorts for how many registry items you should put down based on how many guests you have and how many should be in each price point. I think it's a bit excessive, but it can give you an idea.

    Realize that guests want to buy something of quality that will last you years into your marriage. However, don't register for anything you really don't want. We didn't register for china, but registered for good quality dishes, which we would use if we ever had guests over dinner. We chose to upgrade a lot of items (dishware, kitchen utensils, cookware, linens and towels). 
  • Well... we had people from Belgium show up.  To a wedding that was held in the middle of nowhere GA.  Those folks were definitely on our "oh they won't come" list, and they did.  There was also the group from California and the group from North Dakota who were on the "oh they won't come list," but showed up.

    We also had a lot of people who didn't show send gifts.

    And we even had some people who weren't invited send gifts - about 20 of those.

    Don't register for stuff you don't want.  But do realize that people want to give you something that will last.  If you're in a boxed-gift circle, it's also likely that a lot of these people will want to give you something traditional that you will remember them by.

     We had exactly two guests buy us kitchen gadgets.  Nobody else wanted to touch those.  But we ended up with 15 place settings of china, all the serving pieces, all our flatware, and all the casual dining stuff we registered for. I also got every single extra serving piece we registered for, including the really overpriced crystal butter dish.  That's what people in my circle like to give.

    I guess what I'm saying is that it's fine to be practical, but it might inspire people to shop off-registry if you don't have some "keep forever" things on there.  I didn't think we would get nearly as much of this stuff as we did, but I registered for it figuring that if we only got a few place settings, then we would return them for something more practical (a Dyson vacuum cleaner comes to mind).  But since we got everything (and then some), we kept it all and now can set a pretty badass table when people come over.  Honestly, we probably would have kept it and completed it ourselves if we had gotten just 7 or 8 place settings.  Virtually every couple I know gets at least 7 or 8 place settings.  That's the norm where I live. 

    Don't register for it if you have no intention of keeping it at all.  But if you think you might want it, and the reason you are hesitating is because you think it won't be completed, then I would encourage you to re-think this.  Worst case scenario is you receive only two or three place settings, which you can return for pots and pans.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I only have one registry and I only put practical things on it.  But most people do not realize that there are more to registry's than kitchen stuff.  If that is the case here than maybe put decorative items on the registry,holiday stuff, hangers, cleaning supplies etc.  You do not need to register for elaborate china or crystal items if it is not your style.  I would however, register for linens because you always need them.  They also get old and will need to be replaced eventually so having them already in the house could be a good idea.  Most people I know would rather get you a tangible item that is on a registry than a gift card for that registry.  People will go out and buy you things if your registry gets bought up.  Might as well put stuff you would want than have to return "fancy" items you didn't want in the first place.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Great topic!  I'm in a similar boat trying to finalize our registry.  I started one at Macy's with "nice things" that we'd like.  I also started one with Amazon, and with the "add on" button, I can add one off things from various sites (like Home Depot/Lowes gift cards, items from Pier One, etc.).  My fiance would also like to be able to add things he'd like to the Amazon one.  I've also considered adding a honeymoon registry, and maybe another one at BB&B.  This way, people will have various options depending on what they'd like to do (buy a nice keepsake, shop online, go to a store, contribute towards the honeymoon, etc.).  Each registry wouldn't be over the top...we've lived with each other for several years now, own a home, so anything we register for is mainly for upgrading the mismatched stuff we currently have.

    Overall, the main point is to register for things you want, things you need, things you'll use, and don't be too shy in adding things (otherwise as others have pointed out, you end up with things you didn't want).  It was also recently pointed out to me by my MOH that this is the one time in your life you can ask for things you want, and people will want to get them for you!
  • Great topic!  I'm in a similar boat trying to finalize our registry.  I started one at Macy's with "nice things" that we'd like.  I also started one with Amazon, and with the "add on" button, I can add one off things from various sites (like Home Depot/Lowes gift cards, items from Pier One, etc.).  My fiance would also like to be able to add things he'd like to the Amazon one.  I've also considered adding a honeymoon registry, and maybe another one at BB&B.  This way, people will have various options depending on what they'd like to do (buy a nice keepsake, shop online, go to a store, contribute towards the honeymoon, etc.).  Each registry wouldn't be over the top...we've lived with each other for several years now, own a home, so anything we register for is mainly for upgrading the mismatched stuff we currently have.

    Overall, the main point is to register for things you want, things you need, things you'll use, and don't be too shy in adding things (otherwise as others have pointed out, you end up with things you didn't want).  It was also recently pointed out to me by my MOH that this is the one time in your life you can ask for things you want, and people will want to get them for you!

    You shouldn't register for gift cards (and don't get started on the honeymoon registry) because it is the same as asking for cash, which is always rude.
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • We only had one and no luxury items on it.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • AprilH81, I don't think there is any issue with gift cards or a honeymoon registry.  It can make things easier for people who don't want to spend too much time picking out something (or people who'd rather let us pick out something), but having a gift registry allows those who want to pick out something special or an item that we'd need/like, gives them that option as well.  We've been living together since 2008, own a home already, and we know that Home Depot and Lowes gift cards come in handy with the house projects we'd like to accomplish!

    I think honeymoon registries are becoming more common; if we go that route, I'd like to be able to take pictures on our honeymoon enjoying that activity (snorkeling, dinner, etc.) and include the picture in our "thank you" card to that person.  And again, since we have a regular registry, people can elect to buy something from there if they do not feel right about the honeymoon registry.

    So many great options for registries these days depending on your situation (living together or not) without being tacky!
  • AprilH81, I don't think there is any issue with gift cards or a honeymoon registry. Yes it is. It can make things easier for people who don't want to spend too much time picking out something (or people who'd rather let us pick out something), but having a gift registry allows those who want to pick out something special or an item that we'd need/like, gives them that option as well.  We've been living together since 2008, own a home already, and we know that Home Depot and Lowes gift cards come in handy with the house projects we'd like to accomplish! You can spread the word that this is what you want without being rude.  You can also register for tools on Amazon/Sears/etc. That will help your guests figure out that you want to do some home improvement projects.
     
    I think honeymoon registries are becoming more common; if we go that route, I'd like to be able to take pictures on our honeymoon enjoying that activity (snorkeling, dinner, etc.) and include the picture in our "thank you" card to that person.  And again, since we have a regular registry, people can elect to buy something from there if they do not feel right about the honeymoon registry.

    So many great options for registries these days depending on your situation (living together or not) without being tacky!

    Gift cards=cash.  Asking for cash is rude. 

    Honeymoon registries=cash.  Asking for  cash is rude.

    WANTING cash/gift cards is fine.  To get this across to your guests your either don't register at all or create a very small registry.  When guests ask you where you are registered you say, "We are registered at Macy's (or we aren't registered anywhere) and we are saving up for new kitchen cabinets."

    That lets the guests know what you really want without you plastering "PLEASE GIVE US MONEY" all over everything.

    We had three registries (none overly large) and a guest list of 80 people.  At the wedding we only had four physical gifts, the rest were cash and gift cards.  People don't need to be told that cash/gift cards are good. 

    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards