Just Engaged and Proposals
mimiwedding2015
member
I am throwing a surprise engagement party for my bridesmaids/groomsman. What should i do?

My fiance and I have invited the people we would like to stand up in our wedding to a private party. The invitations only indicate that it is a private event and to come hungry. This party is our way to ask them to be our bridesmaids/groomsmen. We'll also have our parents there.
Any suggestions for activities or entertainment? I'd hate for us all to be sitting there staring at eachother for 3 hours.
We are going to be in a small banquet room at a local bar. There will be catered food and free drinks for the guests (16 people total)
Thanks!
Any suggestions for activities or entertainment? I'd hate for us all to be sitting there staring at eachother for 3 hours.
We are going to be in a small banquet room at a local bar. There will be catered food and free drinks for the guests (16 people total)
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I am throwing a surprise engagement party for my bridesmaids/groomsman. What should i do?
Perhaps do the party AFTER everybody has been privately asked and has agreed to be a part of your wedding.
1 - he asked me and my now FI to be in the wedding. FI & I worked together; my brother was at the same company and there were rules against FI and I dating so we did not want to draw any attention to each other.
2 - I already had made work commitments for a HUGE project. I knew my time would be filled from that project. The day of his wedding, I went to bed at 4am and had to be ready by 11am because of the project.
3 - The expense. I honestly just could not afford at that time the added expense because a few other things I had going on that had some of my cash flow tied up.
Another vote for asking them privately. Since you havent asked them, how do you know they can afford a $200 tux? Peoples finances are very personal and can change in an instant. Again, how do you know your MOH is covering your bach party?
And FWIW, hair/ make up/ nails are NOT wedding gifts. They are part of the uniform.
I dont think you need actitives if you have food and alcohol. These people are adults (I assume) and know how to mingle.
ETA: typos
What you are planning to do is not that different. You are publicly announcing your marriage plans and putting your guests on the spot by asking them for a committment of time and money. It is a terrible idea, and somewhat rude. Please don't do this!
I think you're being a little presumptuous in assuming this!! I mean how many times a day do you say 'hey, how are you?' and do you even really listen to the answer (or if somebody tells you how crummy their day is do you think 'that's not really what I meant/why did I even bother'). Saying 'Let me know if you need any help' is way different than saying 'Oh, I want to be in the bridal party' (that's pretty rude if they said that) - and 'let me know if you need any help' is pretty much like saying 'hey, how's it going' - just a conversation piece that may not have any meaning behind it.
Again - my brother and I are pretty close but I turned him down on being part of his wedding because of circumstances. I can't think of anybody who would ask me and I'd accept right away - I'd want a chance to go home, take a look at the time frame of their wedding and see what upcoming expenses and events I have going on.
Also - in my current situation, I could afford a $200 bridal party dress, but I can tell you that I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money on a dress I would only wear once.
If somebody asked me to be in their bridal party in front of a ton of people and didn't really give me the option to consider it and made me feel 'put on the spot' - I probably would turn down just because I'd be looking at it as 'huh - she's already put me in one uncomfortable situation, how many more times is this going to happen'.
Please - listen to the ladies here and ask your intended bridal party privately and don't put them on the spot.
As far as a meet and greet after you have your bridal party in place - if it's at a bar type place, just try to get a private room if you don't have one. People will mingle and you cannot force friendships. I know when my brother has a party with both sides - his in-laws stick together and our family sticks together.
As for the party, as long as there is good food and alcohol, I'm happy. If you must have an activity, maybe put out some "wedding planning" or "happy marriage" advice cards for guests to fill out (if they want to). Although as the saying goes, only the boring get bored. Your crowd (hopefully) doesn't require activities to avoid just sitting there staring at each other.
My take on the hair/makeup/nails thing was not that she's using it as their gift. It sounds like someone is using it as a wedding gift for her.
I love the idea of having a party for your GM, BM & parents. It's a great way to for everyone to meet (assuming they don't know each other) and get to know each other instead of just meeting right before the wedding at your rehersal. I did a wedding party BBQ for our bridal party & families. Since it was a backyard BBQ we just had tables out and cornhole and a few other outdoor games. It worked out great. Not sure what you could do for entertainment for the location you picked out but depending on the size of the group maybe you can do a "how do you know the bride/groom?"
But I have to agree with everyone else, I think it would be better if you asked everyone prior to the event because they may already have a commitment to something else around the time of your wedding that you aren't aware of and it will avoid any ackward moments then at the party.