Giving Up Your Maiden Name

pintSizeSlasher

Molly&Domenic said:

pintSizeSlasher said:.

However... after much thought and about six months of dragging my feet after the wedding (of course husband didn't understand my feelings), I changed my last name while keeping my maiden name as my middle name. 

If my husband didn't understand how hard this is, that would hurt me the most. 

Eh, definitely not hurt, just irritated. We come from completely different backgrounds. He was raised super traditional, where men are breadwinners and women stay home with kids if possible and never give a second thought to taking their husband's name. I was raised to be independent and self-made and make 3x his salary so I am the breadwinner. His whole family thinks I'm different but that's one of the great part of marriage--learning how to meld with someone who is different from you.

dancinxqueen324

TOTALLY felt the same!  I have an uncommon, exotic-sounding maiden name that sounds cool with my first name, and I have established my career with my maiden name.  My married name is Cox.  Aside from all the jokes that come along with that, it's such a common last name and there are a million other Dancinxqueen324 Coxes out there!  With that said, I do want to have the same last name as our future kids, so I changed it. I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and all of my coworkers still use my maiden name, so I do still feel like it's part of my identity.  

lotsosandwiches

I know this thread is a month old, but I am struuugggglying with this. I don't know what to do. I keep going back and forth, sometimes on an hourly basis. Our wedding is only two months away now and I have figure out what I want to put on our marriage license. I would absolutely keep my last name as my middle name, or hyphenate it, except... when you put my last name and my FI's last name together it is actually really vulgar. Like, we aren't even having a wedding announcement in the paper (to my mother's disapointment), and we purposefully left our last names off our wedding invitation because we would 100 percent end up on one of these lists: http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/incredible-wedding-announcments-from-couples-with-unfortu I actually distinctly remember the day that my FI and I were out to dinner with a group of friends and someone announced to the whole table, "Holy shit, if you guys get married it will be the _____ - ______ wedding!" There were many spit takes. It's just so hard. I'm probably going to change my name. It's just really hard to accept that after 30 years, I'm just going to have a new name. I hate it.

MollyandD

lotsosandwiches said:

I know this thread is a month old, but I am struuugggglying with this. I don't know what to do. I keep going back and forth, sometimes on an hourly basis. Our wedding is only two months away now and I have figure out what I want to put on our marriage license. I would absolutely keep my last name as my middle name, or hyphenate it, except... when you put my last name and my FI's last name together it is actually really vulgar. Like, we aren't even having a wedding announcement in the paper (to my mother's disapointment), and we purposefully left our last names off our wedding invitation because we would 100 percent end up on one of these lists: http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/incredible-wedding-announcments-from-couples-with-unfortu I actually distinctly remember the day that my FI and I were out to dinner with a group of friends and someone announced to the whole table, "Holy shit, if you guys get married it will be the _____ - ______ wedding!" There were many spit takes. It's just so hard. I'm probably going to change my name. It's just really hard to accept that after 30 years, I'm just going to have a new name. I hate it.

I really want to know your name now.