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Etiquette

Question about cake and dessert buffets....

So at our reception, we are having a dessert buffet and I am trying to figure out what to do about the cake. What is proper etiquette? My mom says it's okay to get a cake that will serve like 75/80 guests (we are expecting about 150) since we have a dessert buffet but I wasn't sure if that is rude or not. The difference in cost is about 100 bucks but I'd rather spend the extra cash and not be rude than have people offended....

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Re: Question about cake and dessert buffets....

  • phiraphira
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    The idea is that you wouldn't do a cake cutting if you're not serving cake for dessert. It's not really okay to get a cake that won't serve everyone just so you can have the cake cutting tradition. I vote to skip the tradition altogether because you don't want to have cake for dessert.
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  • See, and we were planning on including the cake as part of the dessert bar. Not all of our guests can eat cake though (diabetic, celiac, etc.) which is why we wanted to offer the variety.

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  • I get what you are saying though

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  • phira said:
    The idea is that you wouldn't do a cake cutting if you're not serving cake for dessert. It's not really okay to get a cake that won't serve everyone just so you can have the cake cutting tradition. I vote to skip the tradition altogether because you don't want to have cake for dessert.
    This is exactly what my DD is doing in June.  There will be cake with the dessert buffet but there is no wedding cake and no cake cutting. 
  • do a cake but make sure you have enough to serve everyone
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  • If you want cake to be an option along with other things, maybe consider cutting something else that will be on the dessert buffet? Cut a cupcake, a pastry, or some other dessert.

    You can also choose to get a small display tier to cut, and then serve sheet cake in the same flavor on the buffet. Sheet cakes are typically cheaper, so you'd get the same thing for much less.
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  • Does that mean you need to have enough of every dessert on the buffet for every person? Cake for all, cookie for all, brownie for all, pie for all? 

    We're planning a dessert buffet too. For 300 people I was planning 250 servings of cake, 150 servings of cheesecake, 100 servings of cupcakes, and 100 chocolate covered strawberries. But maybe I need 300 of each. Good thing I won't be dieting anymore. There will be tons left over if we do that!
  • Yeah, I was worried about the leftovers too!! Haha, so much for maintaining my figure! ;P I like the sheet cake idea with the display teir but I'll probably go with enough for everyone in addition to the assorted desserts just to be on the safe side.

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  • mysticlmysticl
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    afaber24 said:
    Does that mean you need to have enough of every dessert on the buffet for every person? Cake for all, cookie for all, brownie for all, pie for all? 

    We're planning a dessert buffet too. For 300 people I was planning 250 servings of cake, 150 servings of cheesecake, 100 servings of cupcakes, and 100 chocolate covered strawberries. But maybe I need 300 of each. Good thing I won't be dieting anymore. There will be tons left over if we do that!
    I can see getting away with less than 300 servings each of the cake (if you aren't doing a formal cutting), cheesecake, and cupcakes.  It is unlikely that everyone will take one of each.  However, I would think more along the lines of 600 chocolate covered strawberries.  That's not something people are going to see as being an entire dessert but instead something people will grab one or two of as a side to their dessert.  
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  • afaber24 said:
    Does that mean you need to have enough of every dessert on the buffet for every person? Cake for all, cookie for all, brownie for all, pie for all? 

    We're planning a dessert buffet too. For 300 people I was planning 250 servings of cake, 150 servings of cheesecake, 100 servings of cupcakes, and 100 chocolate covered strawberries. But maybe I need 300 of each. Good thing I won't be dieting anymore. There will be tons left over if we do that!
    Truthfully, I don't know.  It seems like overkill, BUT what if 270 people want cake?  

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  • phiraphira
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    Ah, okay, that's a little trickier. If you're doing a cake-cutting, I'd assume a slice for just about every guest. If you're expecting 150 and expecting, say, 10 people who can't eat cake due to dietary restrictions, I'd try to get a cake that can feed 130-140. Alternatively, you can have less cake and skip the cake cutting since there's still enough dessert for everyone. But doing a cake cutting is pretty traditional, and it might lead people to assume that your wedding cake is for dessert.

    However, to save money, you can always cut a tiny pretty cake, and then have slices of sheet cake available for guests.
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  • Etiquette says that if you cut cake, you must serve cake to everyone.

    I love cake, just not wedding cake.

    But personally, I'm normally much more interested in booze after dinner and the cake just sits at my place setting until the servers take it away and probably throw it away.


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  • Etiquette says that if you cut cake, you must serve cake to everyone.

    I love cake, just not wedding cake.

    But personally, I'm normally much more interested in booze after dinner and the cake just sits at my place setting until the servers take it away and probably throw it away.


    Why not wedding cake? (Unless it's that you don't like fondant. I get that. Fondant tastes like butts dipped in sugar.)
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  • We are cutting a cheesecake in the shape of a cupcake. How our baker does it is 2 cookies, 1 bar and 1 cupcake (regular or cheesecake) per guest for 1 price. Now there will be some who want more cookies vs bars but this way there is enough of each item per guest. If we wanted to add more cookies or something we could. Any leftovers will have boxes for guests to take.

    Is there a way that if you want to cut a cake you have a cupcake to cut and serve cupcakes vs slices of cake? Otherwise I'd skip the cutting.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • Inkdancer said:
    Etiquette says that if you cut cake, you must serve cake to everyone.

    I love cake, just not wedding cake.

    But personally, I'm normally much more interested in booze after dinner and the cake just sits at my place setting until the servers take it away and probably throw it away.


    Why not wedding cake? (Unless it's that you don't like fondant. I get that. Fondant tastes like butts dipped in sugar.)
    Because most of the time, wedding cake is frozen and then defrosted and it makes for a terribly dry and nasty cake.

    I also don't really like the food at weddings because mass produced food is terrible.

    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • Inkdancer said:
    Etiquette says that if you cut cake, you must serve cake to everyone.

    I love cake, just not wedding cake.

    But personally, I'm normally much more interested in booze after dinner and the cake just sits at my place setting until the servers take it away and probably throw it away.


    Why not wedding cake? (Unless it's that you don't like fondant. I get that. Fondant tastes like butts dipped in sugar.)
    Because most of the time, wedding cake is frozen and then defrosted and it makes for a terribly dry and nasty cake.

    I also don't really like the food at weddings because mass produced food is terrible.

    My bakery only does 2 weddings per weekend to make sure this doesn't have to happen.

    I love my bakery.
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  • mysticlmysticl
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Inkdancer said:
    Inkdancer said:
    Etiquette says that if you cut cake, you must serve cake to everyone.

    I love cake, just not wedding cake.

    But personally, I'm normally much more interested in booze after dinner and the cake just sits at my place setting until the servers take it away and probably throw it away.


    Why not wedding cake? (Unless it's that you don't like fondant. I get that. Fondant tastes like butts dipped in sugar.)
    Because most of the time, wedding cake is frozen and then defrosted and it makes for a terribly dry and nasty cake.

    I also don't really like the food at weddings because mass produced food is terrible.

    My bakery only does 2 weddings per weekend to make sure this doesn't have to happen.

    I love my bakery.
    Yeah, our wedding cake wasted frozen.  I have tasted a few like that, in fact some have still been ice cold by the time they were served.  

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  • We served cake, but not the cake we cut. I don't think anyone knew unless they thought about the fact that the small cake we cut couldn't possibly feed everyone at the wedding. They had different cake in the back that was served. It was also white cake, with white icing, but it had white chocolate and raspberry inside and the small cake we cut didn't (not ideal for photos imho). We also offer the choice of apple pie (3rd of July, Apple Pie & America - and hot dogs on the late night buffet :-9).

    So if you cut a cake and have sheet cakes in the back is that OK? Even if you aren't serving the actual cake you cut?

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  • @photokitty

    Yes.  You can cut a small cake and serve sheet cake.  Just as long as people get their cake.  


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  • @photokitty

    Yes.  You can cut a small cake and serve sheet cake.  Just as long as people get their cake. 

    People just get so uppity over cake I was worried I made a faux pas. :-p I don't typically like wedding cake, I'll eat it, but I wouldn't miss it. Oddly I have found wedding cupcakes to rase worse than the worse wedding cake I ever had. Not sure how that happens??? oh well ;)

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  • @photokitty

    Yes.  You can cut a small cake and serve sheet cake.  Just as long as people get their cake. 

    People just get so uppity over cake I was worried I made a faux pas. :-p I don't typically like wedding cake, I'll eat it, but I wouldn't miss it. Oddly I have found wedding cupcakes to rase worse than the worse wedding cake I ever had. Not sure how that happens??? oh well ;)
    People are serious about their cake!

    I think the idea of cutting a cake and then not serving cake to everyone is along the lines of serving Lobster to your wedding party and then Cheeseburgers to the rest of your guests.
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • Inkdancer said:
    If you want cake to be an option along with other things, maybe consider cutting something else that will be on the dessert buffet? Cut a cupcake, a pastry, or some other dessert.

    You can also choose to get a small display tier to cut, and then serve sheet cake in the same flavor on the buffet. Sheet cakes are typically cheaper, so you'd get the same thing for much less.

    This is exactly what I was going to suggest.

    We are doing a dessert bar and will be having enough cake for everyone in addition to all the other items we will have out.

  • We served cake, but not the cake we cut. I don't think anyone knew unless they thought about the fact that the small cake we cut couldn't possibly feed everyone at the wedding. They had different cake in the back that was served. It was also white cake, with white icing, but it had white chocolate and raspberry inside and the small cake we cut didn't (not ideal for photos imho). We also offer the choice of apple pie (3rd of July, Apple Pie & America - and hot dogs on the late night buffet :-9).

    So if you cut a cake and have sheet cakes in the back is that OK? Even if you aren't serving the actual cake you cut?
    As long as you're serving the same TYPE of cake you cut. If you cut chocolate with raspberry filling, you need to serve chocolate with raspberry filling from the same bakery, even if they are from a separate actual cake.
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  • We served cake, but not the cake we cut. I don't think anyone knew unless they thought about the fact that the small cake we cut couldn't possibly feed everyone at the wedding. They had different cake in the back that was served. It was also white cake, with white icing, but it had white chocolate and raspberry inside and the small cake we cut didn't (not ideal for photos imho). We also offer the choice of apple pie (3rd of July, Apple Pie & America - and hot dogs on the late night buffet :-9).

    So if you cut a cake and have sheet cakes in the back is that OK? Even if you aren't serving the actual cake you cut?
    As long as you're serving the same TYPE of cake you cut. If you cut chocolate with raspberry filling, you need to serve chocolate with raspberry filling from the same bakery, even if they are from a separate actual cake.
    But oftentimes each layer of a cake is a different flavor, so not everyone gets the same kind.

    I mean, I do agree that it's probably best to have the cakes match, so that people don't question it, but most likely they will know that it's not actually the same cake because of the ratio of cake:people, but I don't think that it has to be from the same bakery.
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • We served cake, but not the cake we cut. I don't think anyone knew unless they thought about the fact that the small cake we cut couldn't possibly feed everyone at the wedding. They had different cake in the back that was served. It was also white cake, with white icing, but it had white chocolate and raspberry inside and the small cake we cut didn't (not ideal for photos imho). We also offer the choice of apple pie (3rd of July, Apple Pie & America - and hot dogs on the late night buffet :-9).

    So if you cut a cake and have sheet cakes in the back is that OK? Even if you aren't serving the actual cake you cut?
    As long as you're serving the same TYPE of cake you cut. If you cut chocolate with raspberry filling, you need to serve chocolate with raspberry filling from the same bakery, even if they are from a separate actual cake.
    But oftentimes each layer of a cake is a different flavor, so not everyone gets the same kind.

    I mean, I do agree that it's probably best to have the cakes match, so that people don't question it, but most likely they will know that it's not actually the same cake because of the 
    ratio of cake:people, but I don't think that it has to be from the same bakery.
    I agree with you @dragonblood13

    Perhaps some folks would say we screwed up bc DH's mom made us a simple white cake with white frosting and we served the white chocolate raspberry cake that was in the back that the venue made fresh. We couldn't cut that cake. But, I'm fairly certain no one knew the difference and the cake we served guests was of equal or better quality as it did not travel 3 hours in a car the day before the wedding. Not that I'm complaining about it, it was perfect for us and I love MIL's cakes.

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  • @photokitty

    I guarantee you that no one noticed and even if they did, they really wouldn't care.  They got their cake and they ate it too!  Ha.  So cheesy.
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
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  • indianaalumindianaalum
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    edited March 10
    I think if you don't do a "cake cutting" then it's fine to have cake as part of the buffet.  However, I'd err on the side of having enough pieces of each dessert that if everyone wanted one, they could have one.  I could be crazy though.
    I disagree. Yes, you should have enough CAKE for everyone to have a piece since that is the "cake cutting" but a dessert buffet has a variety of things so it would be a COMPLETE waste of food to have 100 of each type of dessert as clearly not every guest will eat every snack on there. Our venue had suggested 3-4 pieces per person so that everyone can get a couple to choose from, though they might not necessarily all choose the same item.  Westill had a TON left over doing that.
  • Do guest really get mad that they get a different flavor of cake served to them?

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