Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette party vent :(

So, when I first got engaged I mentioned just for fun that it could be awesome to do a night in chicago for my bachelorette. This was like when I first got engaged 2 years ago and it was just a thought not a demand. Well, now I find out we are doing chicago and it was supposed to be a surprise. However, most of my girls have been texting me kind of venting about what the other girls are saying and it's kind of getting to me. I never wanted to do anything to inconvenience anyone or put any financial stress on anyone....but it seems to be turning out that way. Some of the girls seem to be doing it out or obligation and others seem to want to go. then 2 girls just backed out at the last minute after the hotel was booked and paid for. Now I kind of just want to cancel the whole thing and cut our losses....but that seems to be even more stressful. I just dont really know what to do at this point. I mentioned the idea of cancelling and 3 of the girls were like yeah that sounds good we will just come hang out with you for the weekend...and the other two girls were like well we are still going so you should come with us. So now I feel like it's even more messed up and I should never have said anything to begin with. It's in 3 weeks so I have to figure it out fast :(

Re: Bachelorette party vent :(

  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I think you should have just stayed out of the plans. That ship has sailed, though. I do think it was inappropriate for your friends to text you complaining. They can simply decline the invitation if it is a financial burden on them.

    At this point, I would contact the group as a whole and let them know that you are backing out of control of the plans, apologize for inserting yourself in them, and let them know that you will be graciously accepting whatever party they will be throwing for you (or not throwing at all any more) and that they can work it out amongst themselves and let you know.

    There is always the option of going to Chicago with your two friends and doing something separate with the other three on another date.
  • Thanks for the advice. I will say though I never intended to be involved, it was just pretty hard not to be when you are being texted about it by multiple people all day every day. Then the two girls who backed out texted me rather than my MOH. I have no problem with people backing out for financial reasons, like I said I never wanted this to be a big to do. That's mostly why I feel so terrible about this whole thing. But thanks though I will try and talk to them and let them work something out.
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I totally get it. I didn't mean to insinuate that you were over-stepping your bounds. I'm sorry it's turned into such a "thing". I wish they had been able to come to a decision together without you!
    iloveotters2014MairePoppy
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