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ChambersWedding14

Jen4948

ChambersWedding14 said:

Has anyone ever demoted their MOH to a bridesmaid and had a bridesmaid step up to be your MOH? 

My MOH is pregnant (just found out recently) and is no longer acting like my MOH. Which, it doesn't really bother me...but one of my bridesmaids is doing a lot. Planning my shower and bachelorette party, checking in on me asking if I need anything, helping me with my invitations, dress, etc. All things that an MOH should be doing. Is it crazy to ask her to be my MOH now? Less than 5 months away from the wedding....

I know that she would gladly do it, since she is already doing MOH duties anyway. And I know she is in a better financial position that the current MOH. I just don't want to cause any tension between the two of them, and I also don't want her to feel like she was my second option or just a replacement MOH.

Anyone ever been here before ? Help!!

Yes, it's crazy.  The fact that the person you asked to be MOH is not taking it upon herself to do what you call "MOH duties" doesn't negate that it's rude to demote an MOH because someone else did take it upon herself to do them.

For one thing, there are no "MOH duties."  No one in your wedding party has a "duty" to plan a shower or bachelorette party for you, check in on you to ask if you need anything, help you with your invitations or dress, or otherwise be your unpaid hired help for your wedding.  The only "duty" any MOH or bridesmaid has is to acquire the designated outfit and show up in it on time, sober, and in good spirits on your wedding day and go down the aisle and back.

For another, it's intensely rude to fire or demote a wedding party member and it's an indication that you are dropping their friendship.

So for Deity's sake, give this idea up.

MairePoppy

Not only crazy, but rude.

None of the things you've mentioned are MOH or bm duties. You and your fi are responsible for planning your own wedding.

ChambersWedding14

You're right Thanks!

lkristenj

Also, deleting posts is rude. And, since you were quoted, there's actually no point in deleting because everyone can still see what you wrote anyway.

ChambersWedding14

*Ignored* bye! :-)

Viczaesar

ChambersWedding14 said:

*Ignored* bye! :-)

That's rude too.

MobKaz

Jen4948 said:

ChambersWedding14 said:

Has anyone ever demoted their MOH to a bridesmaid and had a bridesmaid step up to be your MOH? 

My MOH is pregnant (just found out recently) and is no longer acting like my MOH. Which, it doesn't really bother me...but one of my bridesmaids is doing a lot. Planning my shower and bachelorette party, checking in on me asking if I need anything, helping me with my invitations, dress, etc. All things that an MOH should be doing. Is it crazy to ask her to be my MOH now? Less than 5 months away from the wedding....

I know that she would gladly do it, since she is already doing MOH duties anyway. And I know she is in a better financial position that the current MOH. I just don't want to cause any tension between the two of them, and I also don't want her to feel like she was my second option or just a replacement MOH.

Anyone ever been here before ? Help!!

Yes, it's crazy.  The fact that the person you asked to be MOH is not taking it upon herself to do what you call "MOH duties" doesn't negate that it's rude to demote an MOH because someone else did take it upon herself to do them.

For one thing, there are no "MOH duties."  No one in your wedding party has a "duty" to plan a shower or bachelorette party for you, check in on you to ask if you need anything, help you with your invitations or dress, or otherwise be your unpaid hired help for your wedding.  The only "duty" any MOH or bridesmaid has is to acquire the designated outfit and show up in it on time, sober, and in good spirits on your wedding day and go down the aisle and back.

For another, it's intensely rude to fire or demote a wedding party member and it's an indication that you are dropping their friendship.

So for Deity's sake, give this idea up.

@ChambersWedding14 said:     And I know she is in a better financial position that the current MOH.     Did you rank your wedding party by the size of their bank account?

CMGragain

Miss Manners' top 5 gentle wedding reminders

1. When you had that childhood wedding fantasy, you were a child. If you don't have better taste and a greater sense of social and fiscal responsibility now, you're too immature to get married.

2. People are more important than menus. Figure out first whom you want to have there, and then what you can afford to serve them, not the other way around.

3. A phrase you will be happier if you forget: "the perfect wedding." Perfection does not exist this side of heaven, especially when it involves complicated arrangements and all kinds of other people, and you'll drive yourself and others crazy if you think you can achieve it.

4. Another phrase you will be happier forgetting: "It's your day." The joining of two people involves two (or more) families and other relatives and friends, and you ignore their feelings and comfort at your peril.

5. Your guests are not your personal shoppers.

For more, read the entire article here!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/06/06/LVOD1DGTV3.DTL

artbyallie

ChambersWedding14 said:

*Ignored* bye! :-)

Honey, more people are going to click just because you deleted. They will want to know what the drama was about and guess what? It's all still here for them to read because you were quoted. Own your mistakes and let it stand.

jneen101

Yikes, no one told me my MOH was supposed to be helping with my invitations and dress.  Is my wedding not valid?!?

HisGirlFriday13

ei34

What is with all the deletes after being quoted lately?! There are like 3 a day!

HisGirlFriday13

eileenrob said:

What is with all the deletes after being quoted lately?! There are like 3 a day!

I think people don't realise that deleting their post doesn't delete the whole thread. 

pumpkinsandturkeys

eileenrob said:

What is with all the deletes after being quoted lately?! There are like 3 a day!

I'm noticing that a lot of them tend to be MOH "issues" wherein the bridezilla is in the wrong.

Maybe they should start reading the other deleted threads before posting and realise that we're not going to tell them what they want to hear.

aurianna

ChambersWedding14 said:

You're right Thanks!

To be fair, she did say this. Maybe she deleted the post because she realized that having these kinds of thoughts about her nearest and dearest is wrong and she was ashamed about it.

I'm gonna go with that... I feel like liking people today.

AddieCake

Came for the bat signal.....enjoyed the waffles!

cowgirl8238

AddieL73 said:

Came for the bat signal.....enjoyed the waffles!

Oh I missed the waffles!!!!!!!!!!  But I did see the bat signal

Emmy1493

ChambersWedding14 said: *Ignored* bye! :-)

Wow. Your mature. Not.

Are your sure you are even old enough to get married? Act your age, not your shoe size.

DD'ing is pointless. You have been quoted. 

ETA: I have posting probz today.

Cookie Pusher

I can't even with these DDs!

MaryGraceRich

I only come to the DDs for the puppies