Dear Coworker

PolarBearFitz

Please stop chewing with your mouth open...it's gross. I can hear you crunching/smacking all the way down to my bones. Not to mention the lovely graceful way you are knocking back your bag of cheesey puffs. Look Ma - no hands!!!

*le sigh* Here's to ill-mannered coworkers! I know we have talked about this before, I am venting to prevent myself from throwing a stapler at him. It is extremely tempting right now.

pinkcow13

There is a coworker who sits a few feet away from me, and she smokes like a chimney. I can smell her before seeing her (no lie). She has not stopped laughing for the past hour, but her voice is SO hoarse from all the smoking it just sounds HORRIBLE. Like a robot laughing. It is making my ears bleed and chest hurt.

HisGirlFriday13

I now (blessedly) work in an office with lovely co-workers, but I have worked in newsrooms for years, and OMFG, those people are terrible.

I used to wipe my desk down with Lysol wipes every day, just to keep it clean.

afox007

Just send him this

ScoutF

My current coworkers are my dogs. One is currently licking her butt and the other is snoring. I'd take this over loud chewers and smokers any day.

PolarBearFitz

afox007 said:

Just send him this

Um YES!!!!! Excellent. Should I just print out and staple to his forehead? That would be okay right?!

afox007

PolarBearFitz said:

afox007 said:

Just send him this

Um YES!!!!! Excellent. Should I just print out and staple to his forehead? That would be okay right?!

I fully support stapling it to his forehead! 

wandajune6

I've dumped guys over chewing with their mouth open. FStepSon is particularly disgusting with it and gets called out all the time by pretty much anyone in the family. *gag

I was cruelly dragged from my comfy home office (aka kitchen table or couch) into a beautiful office space. I love being around people but hate the crazy commute. My biggest issue? A guy from another company who seats near us we share an open seating plan with other companies) who wears enough cologne to make me nauseous and has a cell phone that can likely be heard down the street. Fortunately, he doesn't come in very often...

blabla89

@PinkCow13 we have one of those at my office too.

There's also a guy who is constantly sniffling and snorting, and it is absolutely nauseating. I want to march over to his cube and slam a box of tissues on his desk. I was secretly happy that he was out on medical leave at the beginning of the year. The weird part is that this guy has impeccable manners aside from the noises.

ETA: grammar is hard

ElcaB

I have a coworker who whistles all the time and it drives me bananas. I can't stand it. So, on days when I have an apple, I make sure it crunches SUPER LOUD to get back at her. 

ETA: For the record, she & I have a shared space. My crunching isn't heard by anyone else. 

sarahufl

When I started at my job I shared a desk with 2 other people (don't get me started, it was the WORST transition ever). One of them ate pickled herring from a jar, with chopsticks. Every day. As her snack. While sharing a desk with 2 people.

It was the grossest thing ever.

APDSS22

I'm at home right now (day off) and the construction workers working on the storage facility behind my house (less than 2 feet away) are listening to music which I can only hear as "thump, thump thump."  They are also operating heavy machinery.  They woke me up this morning at 7:30.  I'm actually missing my coworkers right now.

cupcait927

All of this makes me so, so happy that I have my own office and no longer work in a cube farm. I about had it with the foot tappers, the loud chewers, the obnoxious laughing, the smelly food, the nail clippers (I will hurt the next person who clips their nails at work - IT'S NOT OKAY!)

PolarBearFitz

ElcaB said:

I have a coworker who whistles all the time and it drives me bananas. I can't stand it. So, on days when I have an apple, I make sure it crunches SUPER LOUD to get back at her. 

ETA: For the record, she & I have a shared space. My crunching isn't heard by anyone else. 

Chewy McChewerloudasballs also hums, whistles, and beat boxes regularly.

Emmy1493

afox007 said:

PolarBearFitz said:

afox007 said:

Just send him this

Um YES!!!!! Excellent. Should I just print out and staple to his forehead? That would be okay right?!

I fully support stapling it to his forehead! 

If I were you.. that might actually be printed out and "Accidently" placed on his desk while he was at lunch. But it seems to me he is at lunch already... eating his cheesey poofs!

climbingsingle

I will gladly trade you the open mouth chewer for the new guy here that is supremely stinky! 

But yeah, that's fucking annoying. 

Cookie Pusher

Most of my coworkers are great! Except the guy who is Sheldon Cooper but with fewer social skills and is less in touch with reality (doesn't understand White Male Privilege, doesn't understand why people are fighting so hard for equal rights, doesn't understand that people lie, etc), but we're used to him and his let-me-blow-smoke-up-your-ass-in-an-attempt-to-convince-you-to-help-me-with-stuff-I'm-not-competent-enough-to-do-myself ways. However, I work in a building with a shared bathroom (1 mens room, 1 ladies room per floor), and at least one woman on our floor hasn't figured out that you're supposed to FLUSH the toilet after you potty.

EarthToChelsea

I feel ya. That, and super-uberly-obnoxiously-loud breathers. 

*dies*