I will try to keep this short but need some help! I got engaged nearly a year ago and asked my little sister to be my maid of honor and a close friend to be my "honorary" maid of honor. I wanted my sister to be my maid of honor, but wanted to honor my friend as well. Over time, she became very domineering with both my sister and me and seemed to feel entitled to be involved in all of the details. I really liked her desire to be involved, but it began to feel more like wanting to plan parties than being supportive.
My fiance and I have A LOT going on right now that has taken priority over wedding planning, so not much has been done in regards to the planning in the last two months. My friend took this as "being cut out" and brought it up to me several times, even though I had told her I just had a lot of stressful items other than the wedding on my plate and planning had just been moved to the backburner. She continued to complain about it and give me the cold shoulder and then she made a comment under her breath that she found one of my other bridesmaids annoying. This really bothered me and the cold shoulder continued on-and-off. I decided that this was just too much drama for me and told her that I felt like like the ambiguity of the honorary maid of honor title was causing issues and that I could tell she'd been upset with me. I told her I really wanted her input and it was important to me to have her be part of everything, but, given the way things had been going, I thought it might be easier if my sister took the lead. I told her I knew she felt like she was being cut out, but that wasn't the case and I was sorry if I hadn't communicated well enough all along that it meant a lot to my sister and me for her to be my Maid of Honor. I told her that she is my best friend and I wanted to honor her, but that I didn't want it to upset her or continue to cause drama. I also addressed the comment she made about my other bridesmaid. I told her I was sorry that she doesn't like her, but that she is very important to me and that I didn't like hearing make negative comments about someone I care about. I also told her that I would say the same thing to anyone else if I heard them make comments like that about her. I told that I hoped she still wanted to be involved and excited about helping plan.
She said that was fine and I asked her if she wanted to talk more about it and she said she had nothing else to say. Since then, she has just ignored me. I sent her a bridesmaid dress in an email and asked her if she liked it and she ignored me until I texted her and then she gave me a very curt response.
I am wondering if I should ask her at this point if she still wants to be involved at all? I want her to be a part of it, but don't want someone standing at the altar with me that is harboring negative feelings toward me, or for this to put a damper on bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc. Any advice on how to approach or mend this? I would really appreciate any advice!