Thank you card question

tesgirl123

My wedding is Saturday(OMG!!!!!) and I received my first wedding gift this past Friday.     I had my shower thank yous out within 2 weeks of the party.   Generally speaking, most weddings I have been to, have included a small picture of the bride and groom with the thank you, I would really like to do this as well.   My photographer said it will be at least 4 weeks(probably closer to 6 weeks) for us to have our digital files ready after our wedding.     Realistically, how long do I have to send out "thank yous" before I start offending people.    I have seen ettiquette guidelines say 6 weeks, but that would eliminate my ability to include the pictures.   I plan on having a real handwritten thank you note, not these crappy pre-written un personalized things you can order on line.  I would really like to avoid doing what my cousin did and waiting a long time and saying "Hahaha, better late than never"

LondonLisa

tesgirl123 said:

My wedding is Saturday(OMG!!!!!) and I received my first wedding gift this past Friday.     I had my shower thank yous out within 2 weeks of the party.   Generally speaking, most weddings I have been to, have included a small picture of the bride and groom with the thank you, I would really like to do this as well.   My photographer said it will be at least 4 weeks(probably closer to 6 weeks) for us to have our digital files ready after our wedding.     Realistically, how long do I have to send out "thank yous" before I start offending people.    I have seen ettiquette guidelines say 6 weeks, but that would eliminate my ability to include the pictures.   I plan on having a real handwritten thank you note, not these crappy pre-written un personalized things you can order on line.  I would really like to avoid doing what my cousin did and waiting a long time and saying "Hahaha, better late than never"

Talk to your photographer and see if he can get you one or two photographs in the week after your wedding. I know often photographers post a blog with some highlights soon after the wedding. If you prearrange it, they can usually do it. I do start to question in my head where the TY note is after the 6 week mark. The TY note is more important than including a photo, so if the photog cannot do it in the week or two after your wedding, just send them without it. You can always include a photo in your Christmas cards to your wedding guests.

HisGirlFriday13

tesgirl123 said:

My wedding is Saturday(OMG!!!!!) and I received my first wedding gift this past Friday.     I had my shower thank yous out within 2 weeks of the party.   Generally speaking, most weddings I have been to, have included a small picture of the bride and groom with the thank you, I would really like to do this as well.   My photographer said it will be at least 4 weeks(probably closer to 6 weeks) for us to have our digital files ready after our wedding.     Realistically, how long do I have to send out "thank yous" before I start offending people.    I have seen ettiquette guidelines say 6 weeks, but that would eliminate my ability to include the pictures.   I plan on having a real handwritten thank you note, not these crappy pre-written un personalized things you can order on line.  I would really like to avoid doing what my cousin did and waiting a long time and saying "Hahaha, better late than never"

Realistically? You have at most four weeks before people start side-eyeing you. And that's the very, very outside.

If you want a photo for the thank-you card, see if you can arrange with your photographer to have that one photo provided within a week of the wedding so you can print it at CVS or Target or wherever and include it in the TY notes.

Nothing is preventing you from sending photos of the wedding to everyone on your guest list after you get the photos and after you have already sent thank-you notes.

I had a friend get married Sept. 7. I got married Oct. 13. My thank-you note to him and his wife was written, sent, and received before we received theirs to us. I was not a happy camper. 

ScoutF

If you can't get one or two pictures to used within a week or so, I'd forgo the picture thank you's and get them out on regular stationary instead. We had stationary printed with our first names and we used them for both the shower and the wedding. Get your thank you notes out ASAP. 

tesgirl123

Thank you all!!!   I think I am going to have to forget the picture (boo, sad face, oh well) rather than offend people.   I wanted to double check here because my co-worker told me you had 3 months to get thank yous out(which seemed high) and we recently received a thank you for a wedding we went to in October (it included a picture of the bride and groom and a picture of us, but I was like "Really?")

Maggie0829

You want to know what has happened to all the thank you cards I have received that included pictures of the bride and groom?  They went into the trash.  I know that sounds harsh but unless you are my sibling or very close family member I won't be keeping a picture of the two of you and if for some reason I did it would end up on the pile of random paperwork on my desk.  Just skip the picture and send the thank yous as quickly as possible.

CamiSelene

I agree with PP's, forget the picture and send the thank you's as soon as possible. FI and I went to his cousin's wedding about 6 weeks ago and still no thank you (there were some serious etiquette faux pa's the entire wedding though, including fb invitations, so I'm not surprised). I am not a very happy camper about it.

ScoutF

CamiSelene said:

I agree with PP's, forget the picture and send the thank you's as soon as possible. FI and I went to his cousin's wedding about 6 weeks ago and still no thank you (there were some serious etiquette faux pa's the entire wedding though, including fb invitations, so I'm not surprised). I am not a very happy camper about it.

I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting for a thank you. 

Maggie0829

CamiSelene said:

I agree with PP's, forget the picture and send the thank you's as soon as possible. FI and I went to his cousin's wedding about 6 weeks ago and still no thank you (there were some serious etiquette faux pa's the entire wedding though, including fb invitations, so I'm not surprised). I am not a very happy camper about it.

H and I went to a wedding a few years ago.  The wedding took place in November.  We didn't receive a thank you for that wedding until the following October.  At that point we really didn't give a shit anymore, but I had to think "Seriously, you are just now doing this?  What was so incredibly time consuming that you couldn't have sent these out like 11 months ago?"

netskyblue2

We will be posting some (6 or 8) wedding photos on our wedding website, and have let people know to check back there a few weeks after the wedding if they would like to see photos.  Some won't care, others, like my grandma who is not in the greatest of health and won't be attending, will like to look at them. 

I don't think it's worth it to go to the expense of printing photos for a bunch of people who won't care to have them.  If someone close to me mentions they'd like a copy of such and such photo, I can accommodate them.  Or if they'd just like the full size digital image to print their own, I can email it.

I think TY's should be sent within 2 weeks, or within 1-2 weeks of returning from a honeymoon.  Promptly, basically.  We're planning on doing ours Monday or Tuesday after our Friday wedding.  (I go back to work on Wednesday).

grumbledore

tesgirl123 said:

My wedding is Saturday(OMG!!!!!) and I received my first wedding gift this past Friday.     I had my shower thank yous out within 2 weeks of the party.   Generally speaking, most weddings I have been to, have included a small picture of the bride and groom with the thank you, I would really like to do this as well.   My photographer said it will be at least 4 weeks(probably closer to 6 weeks) for us to have our digital files ready after our wedding.     Realistically, how long do I have to send out "thank yous" before I start offending people.    I have seen ettiquette guidelines say 6 weeks, but that would eliminate my ability to include the pictures.   I plan on having a real handwritten thank you note, not these crappy pre-written un personalized things you can order on line.  I would really like to avoid doing what my cousin did and waiting a long time and saying "Hahaha, better late than never"

Don't wait for the cutesy picture, just send a generic thank you card with a thoughtful, hand-written message to each gift giver.  Do not wait 6 weeks to send thank you notes.  Late is better than never, but that doesn't make it good.  You should send the notes immediately.