Since ridiculous bachelorette party/shower expecations seems to be the flavor of the day, I have to rant here or I'll go BSC on these women I hardly know.
I posted on here before about being a BM for a friend's wedding and how another BM decided to offer to host a couples shower, without consulting the rest of us. Well, the finances came in on the bachelorette party and it will cost us each $75 (which I covered with them before moving forward). Today the BM who initiated the couples shower sends out a group message alerting us that we "should get planning on the couples shower". Some of the BM proceeds to bounce ideas around - such as hosting it at 1pm so no meal is required, various food options, etc. One of the BMs went ahead and got a quote that would cost each person $60-$75 because the bride has a list of 50+ people for the shower. This cost would be on top of the rental for the facility that she wants everyone to chip in for.
I replied and said "I am unable to attend and because the couples shower was not discussed beforehand, I don't have the funds allocated to spend for this. We just squared away flights and hotel for the actual wedding and don't have any more wiggle room on cash flow. If this should change I would be happy to contribute and will let you know."
Some other girls chimed in with ideas to off-set cost - such as a potluck style (on behalf of the BMs, not guests) to provide light snacks, etc. for the shower. Another BM just replies and says "I know bride isn't expecting much and wouldn't want us to feel overwhelmed but I know she would want more than a potluck for her shower. Not saying we need to break the bank but I think we should make it as nice as possible. Remember she is paying for our dresses so that's a $200 cost we aren't having to pay."
UMMMM?? I didn't pick out a $200 dress - she did. I didn't ask her to pay - she offered. I don't feel guilty saying I can't fork over any more money for this wedding. Should I be feeling guilty?!