Crazy Bridesmaids!

Brittnidee

I have 2 bridesmaids who are making me absolutely insane! One has been blowing off all my wedding events and the other keeps complaining to me about how much everything costs. I don't know how to approach either of them about how crazy they are making me without there being a huge blow out. Does anyone have any advice?

Jen4948

Brittnidee said:

I have 2 bridesmaids who are making me absolutely insane! One has been blowing off all my wedding events and the other keeps complaining to me about how much everything costs. I don't know how to approach either of them about how crazy they are making me without there being a huge blow out. Does anyone have any advice?

Well, first of all, the only "duty" they have is to acquire the designated outfit and show up in it on time and in good spirits.  They have no obligations to plan or attend parties for you, shop with you, work on DIY projects, or "help" in any other way.

And if one of them keeps complaining about the costs, did you ask your bridesmaids about their budgets in advance to find out what they can afford, or did you just tell them that they would have to shell out some arbitrary amount regardless of what else is going on in their lives (students, low-paying jobs, financial emergencies, etc.)?  If you just told them that they had to spend X amount of money without finding out if it fits in their budget, then unfortunately you will have to suck up the complaints about it costing too much for them.  It would even be advisable for you to scale back, make less expensive selections that fit in their budgets, and not expect them to pay for anything they can't afford.

Maggie0829

I have 2 bridesmaids who are making me absolutely insane! One has been blowing off all my wedding events and the other keeps complaining to me about how much everything costs. I don't know how to approach either of them about how crazy they are making me without there being a huge blow out. Does anyone have any advice?

What wedding events are we talking about here? BMs don't have to do anything for your wedding besides buy the dress and show up on your wedding day sober and ready to smile for pictures. 

As for the one complaining about costs. What costs is she having to incur? The only thing that she has to spend money on is a dress. And the price of that dress should be discussed with all the BMs individually prior to the dress being picked. If you are requiring specific shoes or hair or makeup then you have to pay for that. It is fine to say "wear whatever black shoe you want" and to say "hey if you want to get your hair and/or makeup done it will be $X." But if you are requiring things then you need to shell out the bucks. Also, BMs do not have to put money towards any pre-wedding parties if they do not want to.

HisGirlFriday13

Brittnidee said:

I have 2 bridesmaids who are making me absolutely insane! One has been blowing off all my wedding events and the other keeps complaining to me about how much everything costs. I don't know how to approach either of them about how crazy they are making me without there being a huge blow out. Does anyone have any advice?

Short of the wedding -- and possibly a rehearsal if you're having one -- there are no wedding events, so she's blowing off nothing important, so let it go.

The one who is complaining about the costs of everything -- did you ask each girl, privately, before hand how much their budget was and pick a dress at or below the lowest point? If not, that's on you.

Also, they are ONLY required to buy the dress. Anything else you want -- specific shoes, pashminas, jewellery, etc. -- is on you to buy. You may say, 'Wear any closed-toed nude shoe you want,' and that's OK because it's general and they can pick anything they want. 

Also, you don't bring this up with them, because they're not doing anything wrong.

AddieCake

Who cares if she blows off the "wedding events"? If she doesn't want to go, why should she?