Flowers

Frustrated- florist doesn't want to transfer flowers from ceremony to reception!

We're paying a lot of money on flowers- more than I think is necessary- and I saw some really good opportunities to reuse flowers. We already planned to have four alter bouquets reused at the reception. The florist wanted US to transfer the flowers, but my coordinator said no- that's the florist's responsibility she can move them and she called the florist to tell her that.

I sent the final plans to the florist and I asked that six of the centerpieces be at the ceremony as well to decorate the alter. She just told me no! She said if I was getting married in the morning in a church that would be OK, but since I'm getting married in the afternoon outdoors that she won't do it. She mentioned that they would wilt but I really think it's because she doesn't want to transfer the flowers to the reception site.

So I'm PISSED but I don't know if I have a right to be pissed. Is she right? Is it a bad idea to have the flowers out for a 5:30 pm wedding then put them on tables for the reception? 
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Re: Frustrated- florist doesn't want to transfer flowers from ceremony to reception!

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    I rather agree with her in part. Table centerpieces should not be out before the meal. People sit and look at those all evening. Large altar centerpieces should be moved to the reception site and could be used in many places: a backdrop for the cake or sweetheart table, on the card table, for example.
  • What I don't understand is her comment about morning vs afternoon. That is what makes me think it is more about transfer logistics than about having flowers out before the reception. They have the reception site all day to decorate. I can't imagine they are taking the flowers out of the cooler and setting them up moments before people arrive. 

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    She has every right to say no to doing double deliveries.  This is a lot of back and forth for her.  She has to drive to your ceremony space and set that up.  Then drive to your reception space and then set that up.  Then hang around and twiddle her thumbs until after your ceremony where she will then have to pick up the arrangements and head back to the reception space and finish setting up.

    And your florist will most likely not deliver your flowers first thing in the morning because she will probably be finishing up your bouquets and such.  She will probably deliver and set things up an hour to an hour and a half before your wedding is set to start.

    Since you have a coordinator she can certainly transfer the flowers for you.  The florist has a right to say no on this one.

    kmmssgmysticlMuppetOverlord
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
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    I agree with Maggie. I have never heard of a florist moving the flowers from ceremony to reception. I would think to get any florist to do that you would have to pay a lot of extra money for them to sit around and wait for your ceremony to be over. A normal delivery charge definitely wouldn't cover that much time. 
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  • I've never heard of a florist doing this either, for the reasons Maggie said. Why can't your coordinator move the flowers?
  • Also ditto Maggie. My florist delivers the ceremony flowers to us at a certain time, runs off and does her business, and then sets up our reception at a certain time. Not to mention, we aren't her only wedding that day. 

    I'd be more frustrated with my coordinator for not doing this. 
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  • You are welcome to move them yourself, but I cannot imagine why a florist would deliver your ceremony flowers, and then come back later to pick them up and relocate them to your reception.  Have your wedding coordinator or someone else do that.
  • Agree with the others, your florist should not have to be coming back to move flowers.  Your DOC should be arranging that.

  • The coordinator worked out transportation for the flowers. She seemed very adamant about the fact that it's the florist's job. In any case, my FMIL was able to work out a lot more flowers for the ceremony that aren't centerpieces. 
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  • I still have never heard of a florist coming back to relocate flowers, but glad you got it all fixed up.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    The coordinator worked out transportation for the flowers. She seemed very adamant about the fact that it's the florist's job. In any case, my FMIL was able to work out a lot more flowers for the ceremony that aren't centerpieces. 
    She can be as adamant as she wants, but as a former florist I can tell you that the only time that we came back to relocate flowers was if we were paid to do it.  We had many weddings where the bride decided to reuse some of her ceremony flowers for the reception area.  They moved those items themselves.  you and apparently your coordinator, has to remember that your wedding is probably not the only wedding that florist is doing that day.  During the height of wedding season we would do 3-4 weddings each Saturday.  So we really don't have time to come move some flowers for you for free.

  • So our florist always stays to reset flowers from ceremony to reception, but the venue coordinator said that she had never experienced this before and had assumed she would reset everything herself.  She was, obviously, thrilled that the florist reset himself.

    As far the tall arrangements outdoors, I rather agree with the florist.  I think they won't stay fresh all night.  In that case, you should probably have an arrangement just for the outdoor ceremony- then you won't mind if it wilts later.
  • We had some flowers and tables moved from cocktail hour into the ceremony space.  My DOC and the catering staff handled it.  I can't imagine expecting the florist to come back to move flowers after the initial delivery!
  • If your florist says the flowers you picked won't last outside, trust her. I had a friend that walked into a florist and wanted tulips for her spring wedding. He said I'm sorry but I won't do tulips, they have a short life span and depending on the weather, may not survive your ceremony and I won't put my name on something like that. She went with him for that reason, he gave her a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers that lasted for days instead of ours. My husband sees is all the time being a limo driver that the florist gives the bride what she wants & not what will last & often will see the brides bouquet looking sad before they even get to the reception. So chances are the same thing is happening with your florist. If you are set on having some of your centerpieces at your ceremony, ask your florist if there is a way to get the same look but swap out the flowers that would wilt easily & replace them with something different.

    And if you want them to hang out for an extra hour or so & then transport your flowers to the reception, you should expect to have to pay for an extra delivery fee and possibly a pretty hefty one since you are not only costing the florist gas for the delivery, but probably 2 hours for paying the staff because it sounds like they would probably need two people to handle your flowers.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    Erikan73 said:

    If your florist says the flowers you picked won't last outside, trust her. I had a friend that walked into a florist and wanted tulips for her spring wedding. He said I'm sorry but I won't do tulips, they have a short life span and depending on the weather, may not survive your ceremony and I won't put my name on something like that. She went with him for that reason, he gave her a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers that lasted for days instead of ours. My husband sees is all the time being a limo driver that the florist gives the bride what she wants & not what will last & often will see the brides bouquet looking sad before they even get to the reception. So chances are the same thing is happening with your florist. If you are set on having some of your centerpieces at your ceremony, ask your florist if there is a way to get the same look but swap out the flowers that would wilt easily & replace them with something different.

    And if you want them to hang out for an extra hour or so & then transport your flowers to the reception, you should expect to have to pay for an extra delivery fee and possibly a pretty hefty one since you are not only costing the florist gas for the delivery, but probably 2 hours for paying the staff because it sounds like they would probably need two people to handle your flowers.

    And don't forget the possible loss of another wedding (meaning income) since they will be busy moving things around for this bride instead of completely 2 or more weddings that day.

    But I am surprised to hear that florist say that about tulips.  Tulips in water should easily last through a full day (especially in the Spring since they are in season) without much issue.  The only thing that tulips do that many people do not realize is that, even though they have been cut, they continue to grow.

  • I can understand why you're upset, but as someone that use to grow, arrange and deliver flowers, what she's saying makes complete sense. Not only would she be doing double the work of what's typical, she would be losing time and possibly revenue from another event or order.

    I'm not sure about the morning vs. afternoon thing, but ideally (and depending on the flower and order), they might very well be holding flowers in a cooler until the very last possible moment. This keeps them from wilting and opening too much, too soon.

  • Since my reception is at the same place as the ceremony, the florists I've talked to all had no problems reusing flowers, they even recommended doing it to save money! Our ceremony won't be more than 15-20 mins though, which is a lot shorter than a church ceremony, so they won't be sticking around too much longer.  

    I understand the florist's frustration, and they should have been something you talked about before signing with them.  I would expect them to tack on more set-up fees for driving between locations. 
  • When we signed the contract we had a different venue that was all in one. When we switched venues, we made another appointment with her where we went over all the changes. She worked with the coordinator on transferring flowers, I don't know who moved them, but who ever did- didn't put them where they were supposed to be. 

    The florist ended up screwing up really bad. I only had two alter bouquets instead of the four I ordered, the extra flowers I pushed for were so low that no one could even see them. An absolute waste of effort. Then, the flowers did get to the reception site- but they didn't end up where they were supposed to. So when I showed up, the grand staircase that was supposed to be the place the alter bouquets showed up, was completely undecorated. As was my cake- missing the flowers the florist was supposed to provide. The boutonnieres were so large they were unusable and the bouquets were the wrong color.  

    I called her yesterday to complain. She was super defensive with me. Kept trying to tell me, "that's what you wanted, remember?" to everything I thought was wrong. No, that is not what I wanted, and I will re-forward you all the emails with photos where I detailed what I wanted. 

    What pissed me off the most were the boutonnieres. I had asked for my fiance's to be pink and the rest to be white or blush since the guys had coral ties. She said she'd do them in calla lilies and I said I wanted roses. We didn't have a single calla lily anywhere and the wedding was in a rose garden. She pointed to a big tub of pink roses and asked about that color for the groom. I said yes, like that. So she made ALL the boutonnieres out of those pink roses, and they were HUGE and all wrong. Then she has the audacity to tell me that I wanted those flowers. And that my dad, who picked up the flowers, should have told her there was a problem. As if my dad is some sort of check for her work. 

    We didn't use the boutonnieres for anyone but my husband, the best man and the ushers to identify them from the guests (they weren't in wedding colors, just suits). So, at the end of the call, she agreed to refund my MIL the cost of the boutonnieres, the missing alter flowers and cake flowers. 

    Very unhappy all and all with her work and her attitude. 
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  • edited April 2014
    Were all the things you are talking specifically outlined in the contract?

    My flowers were gorgeous, but in my memory, the bouts were supposed to be orange freesia and they came in as orange roses.  I had it on pinterest like that.  When I went back to look at my contract, I definitely signed it as orange roses. We may have discussed going that route because they were less expensive or maybe I didn't read the contract thoroughly.... but the contract is what everyone should be going by and if you have any complaints, it's the document you need to use to address them.

    ETA: I think (If I'm reading correctly) the florist isn't responsible for the flowers that were transferred. If she clearly told you that she wasn't going to be part of that, why is that part of your argument? Or am I confused?
    image image image

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    SBmini said:
    When we signed the contract we had a different venue that was all in one. When we switched venues, we made another appointment with her where we went over all the changes. She worked with the coordinator on transferring flowers, I don't know who moved them, but who ever did- didn't put them where they were supposed to be. 

    The florist ended up screwing up really bad. I only had two alter bouquets instead of the four I ordered, the extra flowers I pushed for were so low that no one could even see them. An absolute waste of effort. Then, the flowers did get to the reception site- but they didn't end up where they were supposed to. So when I showed up, the grand staircase that was supposed to be the place the alter bouquets showed up, was completely undecorated. As was my cake- missing the flowers the florist was supposed to provide. The boutonnieres were so large they were unusable and the bouquets were the wrong color.  

    I called her yesterday to complain. She was super defensive with me. Kept trying to tell me, "that's what you wanted, remember?" to everything I thought was wrong. No, that is not what I wanted, and I will re-forward you all the emails with photos where I detailed what I wanted. 

    What pissed me off the most were the boutonnieres. I had asked for my fiance's to be pink and the rest to be white or blush since the guys had coral ties. She said she'd do them in calla lilies and I said I wanted roses. We didn't have a single calla lily anywhere and the wedding was in a rose garden. She pointed to a big tub of pink roses and asked about that color for the groom. I said yes, like that. So she made ALL the boutonnieres out of those pink roses, and they were HUGE and all wrong. Then she has the audacity to tell me that I wanted those flowers. And that my dad, who picked up the flowers, should have told her there was a problem. As if my dad is some sort of check for her work. 

    We didn't use the boutonnieres for anyone but my husband, the best man and the ushers to identify them from the guests (they weren't in wedding colors, just suits). So, at the end of the call, she agreed to refund my MIL the cost of the boutonnieres, the missing alter flowers and cake flowers. 

    Very unhappy all and all with her work and her attitude. 
    That was probably a very, very good thing.  You can't put flowers on a cake meant for actual consumption unless the flowers are totally pesticide free. . . and the majority of flowers you get from the florist are in no way pesticide free.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • In reading your other post, it sounds like your DOC may be the cause of a lot of the problems.
    image image image

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    In reading your other post, it sounds like your DOC may be the cause of a lot of the problems.
    Any way to get a partial refund since the DOC seems to have made such a mess of things?

    How did your poor Mum chip her tooth?!  That's awful, poor Mum :/

    What alcohol did you guys run out of- the booze on the tables?  I thought you had an open bar too?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    SBmini said:
    When we signed the contract we had a different venue that was all in one. When we switched venues, we made another appointment with her where we went over all the changes. She worked with the coordinator on transferring flowers, I don't know who moved them, but who ever did- didn't put them where they were supposed to be. 

    The florist ended up screwing up really bad. I only had two alter bouquets instead of the four I ordered, the extra flowers I pushed for were so low that no one could even see them. An absolute waste of effort. Then, the flowers did get to the reception site- but they didn't end up where they were supposed to. So when I showed up, the grand staircase that was supposed to be the place the alter bouquets showed up, was completely undecorated. As was my cake- missing the flowers the florist was supposed to provide. The boutonnieres were so large they were unusable and the bouquets were the wrong color.  

    I called her yesterday to complain. She was super defensive with me. Kept trying to tell me, "that's what you wanted, remember?" to everything I thought was wrong. No, that is not what I wanted, and I will re-forward you all the emails with photos where I detailed what I wanted. 

    What pissed me off the most were the boutonnieres. I had asked for my fiance's to be pink and the rest to be white or blush since the guys had coral ties. She said she'd do them in calla lilies and I said I wanted roses. We didn't have a single calla lily anywhere and the wedding was in a rose garden. She pointed to a big tub of pink roses and asked about that color for the groom. I said yes, like that. So she made ALL the boutonnieres out of those pink roses, and they were HUGE and all wrong. Then she has the audacity to tell me that I wanted those flowers. And that my dad, who picked up the flowers, should have told her there was a problem. As if my dad is some sort of check for her work. 

    We didn't use the boutonnieres for anyone but my husband, the best man and the ushers to identify them from the guests (they weren't in wedding colors, just suits). So, at the end of the call, she agreed to refund my MIL the cost of the boutonnieres, the missing alter flowers and cake flowers. 

    Very unhappy all and all with her work and her attitude. 
    As for the transferring of the flowers.  That is not the florists fault that is whoever transferred the arrangements fault.  They either didn't listen to the florist or just didn't care.  But since the florist did not move them which she was not contracted to do that is not her fault.

    I would also like to see the picture of the bouts.  I have made a lot of rose bouts in my life and no rose, even fully open, is that huge.  Also, if you don't pin them on right they can be lopsided and off balance.

    What exactly did your flower contract say?  Did you have an itemized list of everything?  If so you can take the contract back to her and say "we didn't get this and this and this" and since it was your wedding you should have plenty of pictures to back up what you are saying.

    And I am confused about the calla lily vs rose thing.  Did you want calla lilies or no?

  • I never got a copy of the contract (mistake I know) to know exactly what was or wasn't outlined. But I saw her copy many times so I had a really good idea what was and was not included. I know for example we did not put down what types of flowers to be used in the boutonnieres, that was just discussed two days before the wedding. I didn't feel the need to micromanage every flower choice because in general I trust experts to do it correctly, but I guess I should have. Things like the alter arrangements and flowers on the staircase were written down on the contract she had, however, and thankfully, she did agree to refund for those things. No one- not the cake maker or the florist, said anything about pesticides for flowers. It wouldn't have mattered anyways because the cake didn't get eaten.

    I also agree that the day of coordinator really dropped the ball. She should have made sure the flowers were where they belonged. She knew there were supposed to be flowers on the cake, but I don't think she knew about the placement of the alter arrangements at the staircase. I didn't give her that level of detail because she didn't ask for it, and because she had been in contact with the florist. 

    The baker also didn't do what they could have done to ensure the cake was as it was promised. Yes, the contract said that the florist would provide and place flowers- but when the florist wasn't there, why didn't they try to find out what was happening? Or at least tell the coordinator that the cake needed the flowers?

    But since the cake didn't get cut, we decorated it ourselves on Sunday and had our own cake cutting at my in laws house. So that ended up working out just fine. 
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  • Oh- and my mom chipped her tooth trying to tear open the packaging for a hair clip. Apparently- its not the first time she's done this exact same thing, so she broke a veneer. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    SBmini said:
    I never got a copy of the contract (mistake I know) to know exactly what was or wasn't outlined. But I saw her copy many times so I had a really good idea what was and was not included. I know for example we did not put down what types of flowers to be used in the boutonnieres, that was just discussed two days before the wedding. I didn't feel the need to micromanage every flower choice because in general I trust experts to do it correctly, but I guess I should have. Things like the alter arrangements and flowers on the staircase were written down on the contract she had, however, and thankfully, she did agree to refund for those things. No one- not the cake maker or the florist, said anything about pesticides for flowers. It wouldn't have mattered anyways because the cake didn't get eaten.

    I also agree that the day of coordinator really dropped the ball. She should have made sure the flowers were where they belonged. She knew there were supposed to be flowers on the cake, but I don't think she knew about the placement of the alter arrangements at the staircase. I didn't give her that level of detail because she didn't ask for it, and because she had been in contact with the florist. 

    The baker also didn't do what they could have done to ensure the cake was as it was promised. Yes, the contract said that the florist would provide and place flowers- but when the florist wasn't there, why didn't they try to find out what was happening? Or at least tell the coordinator that the cake needed the flowers?

    But since the cake didn't get cut, we decorated it ourselves on Sunday and had our own cake cutting at my in laws house. So that ended up working out just fine. 
    You should have directed your DOC more.  You did a lot of assuming.  Your baker won't put the flowers on the cake because that is not what they were contracted for.  Hell they may not have even known you were supposed to have flowers on your cake.  Your florist was contracted to do that. Vendors go by their contract.  If it isn't in writing they won't do it or remember to do it.  You probably weren't their only bride that day so vendors rely on their contracts to tell them what needs to be done and when.  That is why having itemized contracts are so important.  It isn't harping on them or being micromanaging it is making sure that you are getting what you and want so things like what happened don't happen.  And they are also supposed to protect your backside

  • SBminiSBmini
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    edited April 2014
    I gave my DOC a ton of direction, but I did not reiterate every single detail from every single contract from venders I signed with months before I hired her. I did tell her about the cake and I did watch as she called the florist to confirm that she was bringing the flowers for it- those flowers WERE in the contract. The DOC told me that she would contact the vendors for the info. When I went over things with her, it was more big picture, opposed to where every individual floral arrangement would go, or what song the DJ would play at what moment. I trusted my individual vendors to do their jobs too. 

    This is the first time I've been married and I was under the impression that the very reason for hiring a DOC was so that I didn't have to worry about the minuet details. 
    image
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    edited April 2014
    SBmini said:
    I never got a copy of the contract (mistake I know) to know exactly what was or wasn't outlined. But I saw her copy many times so I had a really good idea what was and was not included. I know for example we did not put down what types of flowers to be used in the boutonnieres, that was just discussed two days before the wedding. I didn't feel the need to micromanage every flower choice because in general I trust experts to do it correctly, but I guess I should have. Things like the alter arrangements and flowers on the staircase were written down on the contract she had, however, and thankfully, she did agree to refund for those things. No one- not the cake maker or the florist, said anything about pesticides for flowers. It wouldn't have mattered anyways because the cake didn't get eaten.

    I also agree that the day of coordinator really dropped the ball. She should have made sure the flowers were where they belonged. She knew there were supposed to be flowers on the cake, but I don't think she knew about the placement of the alter arrangements at the staircase. I didn't give her that level of detail because she didn't ask for it, and because she had been in contact with the florist. 

    The baker also didn't do what they could have done to ensure the cake was as it was promised. Yes, the contract said that the florist would provide and place flowers- but when the florist wasn't there, why didn't they try to find out what was happening? Or at least tell the coordinator that the cake needed the flowers?

    But since the cake didn't get cut, we decorated it ourselves on Sunday and had our own cake cutting at my in laws house. So that ended up working out just fine. 
    I hope you washed the flowers 1st!

    The pesticide-free flowers for cakes is something that I have seen on TV, read about online and in magazines, and have heard from local florists and bakers.  Sure, many places haven't figured this out yet and won't warn you about this. . . because they don't want to lose your business.

    ETA- Ugh, that sucks for your mom. . . although since she did that sort of thing before you'd think she would know better ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • We did not wash the flowers. But that was two days ago now, and no one has gotten sick. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    SBmini said:
    I gave my DOC a ton of direction, but I did not reiterate every single detail from every single contract from venders I signed with months before I hired her. I did tell her about the cake and I did watch as she called the florist to confirm that she was bringing the flowers for it- those flowers WERE in the contract. The DOC told me that she would contact the vendors for the info. When I went over things with her, it was more big picture, opposed to where every individual floral arrangement would go, or what song the DJ would play at what moment. I trusted my individual vendors to do their jobs too. 

    This is the first time I've been married and I was under the impression that the very reason for hiring a DOC was so that I didn't have to worry about the minuet details. 
    Did you give the DOC copies of your vendor contracts?  Because if not, she wouldn't have any idea about the details in the contracts unless you told her about them.

    What you said is true, but only if the DOC actually has all of the information about the specific details of where each arrangement is supposed to go, how the cake should be decorated, etc.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829
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