Father of the Bride Attire

Gizmo813

I did a search, and didn't find the answer to my question. My apologies ahead of time if I overlooked a similar post. 

FI and I went to Men's Warehouse today to pick out tuxes for him and the groomsmen. While I was there, I realized that I hadn't thought about what my dad and FFIL would wear. I am not looking to dictate what the dad's wear, because I know they can wear whatever they want. BUT I would like to give them some suggestions and guidance, because neither of them is very fashion-conscious.

The guys are all wearing a grey tux with a royal purple straight tie. The groomsmen are wearing a vest to match the tie. FI is wearing a vest to match the tux jacket and a purple pocket-square. 

What guidance can I offer the dads about their attire for our wedding? (Our wedding is in a church on an August afternoon.)

CMGragain

The FOB and FOG do not need to match the wedding party.  I would suggest dark suits - for both FOB, FOG and also for your wedding party.
Tuxedos are black.
Tuxedos should never be worn in the afternoon.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Morning_Dress.htm

"Many North Americans visit this site for guidance in assembling a traditional black-tie ensemble for their afternoon wedding only to discover that such attire is inappropriate for daytime functions.  This comes as a disappointing shock to fiancé(e)s who have been conditioned to believe that no wedding is truly formal unless the groomsmen are clad in tuxedos. "

Gizmo813

@CMGragain, that didn't answer my question at all. Whatever you want to call it, the guys will be wearing grey jackets and grey pants. It doesn't matter to me whether this ensemble is called a suit or a tuxedo. They will not be wearing black. 

Also, I do believe that I said that I know FOB and FOG do not have to match the wedding party. However, I have read numerous websites, including ettiquette websites, that say that the style and formality of the fathers' attire should match the wedding party. 

Which is why I am asking for help about what guidance to give the dad's about their attire. "Wear whatever you want" is a very, very dangerous thing to tell my father. 

CMGragain

If you are talking about those Vera Wang so called "tuxedos", I think they are more like suits than tuxedos. Read the information on tuxedos on the site I gave you.  I don't think they will be around for very long.
I would tell the FOB and FOG to wear suits.

Gizmo813

You are still arguing semantics. Semantics are irrelevant. 

"I would tell FOB and FOG to wear suits." Thank you for your suggestion ... 

doeydo

You don't need to 'suggest' to them anything about their attire as that would be rude to do.  If they ask you what they should wear, then you can say "Well, the groom and groomsmen are going to be wearing grey suits and us girls in long gowns.  Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, though" or something like that so they get a feel for the level of formality or whatever that you are doing.  They can figure out on their own what to wear.

Maggie0829

Yes the parents should match the formality of the event.  I would probably just tell the FOB and FOG that the GMs are wearing X and then let them decide what they want to wear from there.  But in the end if the FOB wants to wear a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt with holes there is really nothing you can do about it.

vmj23

Our fathers will be wearing the same tux (from mens warehouse) as the groom/grooms men with a different vest color.  We didn't tell them they had to wear a tux, but they choose to.  Since my fiancee is wearing a black vest and the groomsmen are wearing a light gray, we picked out a darker gray vest/tie for the dads (again, they didn't care, i told them to pick out whatever they wanted, but they left it to us to choose).    The person at Men's warehouse helped us with suggestions of coordinating them - you should ask them for suggestions. 

Maybe suggest thesame tux with a different color tie/vest, or a black tux with the same color tie.

buddysmom80

My dad said he's wearing his "funeral suit" (I think it's a dark, almost black suit). I was fine with that!

emmaaa

If they ask, you could say, "The guys are wearing gray suits. You can wear what you would like. A dark colored suit would look really nice!"

ETF: because suits can't be gay.

[Deleted User]

I agree with pp that suggested to just let them know what GM are wearing & go from there.

My father said he would wear whatever I wanted (he owns a black tux and a navy blue suit). My MIL asked me what I wanted my FIL to wear and I asked her "What would you like to see him in?" She said a tux. So I told her to tell him that I said a tux. She was so happy with that & he looked very handsome. My men wore brown tuxes (I know major faux pax being a tux but only suit colors available for rental were black, tan & navy & my now husband didn't like them and wasn't about to make GM buy a suit they would never wear again). Because my dad already owned a black tux I decided to have FIL in black too so they would stand out as the dads.

Both dads would have been fine in suits but it actually made both mom's happy to see the dad's all dressed up in tuxes. But if your dad's already own suits that will go with the time of year, You would be fine letting them wear that. You can always get them a tie in your wedding colors to bring some of your wedding color to their suit if you wanted to.

tammym1001

FI and his BM are wearing black tuxes. Both of our fathers will be wearing dark colored suits. I  know my father's will be a black suit. I'm not sure about his Dad. I think that it would be fine if they wore either black tuxes or dark colored suits. IMHO, I wouldn't put them in the gray tux like the guys because I feel like that is a young guy thing. 

Gizmo813

Thank you everybody for your very helpful suggestions. I was pretty much thinking that I'd tell the dad's "the groomsmen are wearing .... " and let them go from there, anyway. It's nice to have confirmation that I'm on the right track. 

princessleia22

I agree that you should just say that they groomsmen are wearing grey suits, so any color suit should work (if they are really bad at fashion, maybe specify a "dark color" suit, so they don't show up in white suit or baby blue).  Or just ask what they would be comfortable in.  Ask what suits they already own, and if it's acceptable, just tell them that it would be perfect to wear.

My dad owns one suit jacket (black) that actually fits him.  I told him it would be perfectly fine to wear. But, he says that he wants to match the groomsmen, who are wearing navy blue suits. I'm first daughter getting married and they always expected me to just elope, so I think they are more concerned about making everything perfect.  So, we bought him the same suit that we bought for groomsmen. FFIL is the only one that hasn't bought suit yet and we don't know what he is wearing (he's is on a strict weight loss diet right now, so they want to wait until closer to determine size he'll need).  It will probably be some type of suit, but I don't know if it will match or not. But I wouldn't doubt if they go for a navy suit also since FMIL seems to also have the idea that everything should match (she was obsessing over finding a 2-botton navy suit for my nephew, but could only find 3-button in his size and it really stressed her out).  But, we've told them that we would be happy even if he shows up in dress pants, button up shirt, and no jacket.

cowgirl8238

eg72 said:

If they ask, you could say, "The guys are wearing gay suits. You can wear what you would like. A dark colored suit would look really nice!"

I LOLed so hard!!! 

Sorry had to point that out.

emmaaa

cowgirl8238 said:

eg72 said:

If they ask, you could say, "The guys are wearing gay suits. You can wear what you would like. A dark colored suit would look really nice!"

I LOLed so hard!!! 

Sorry had to point that out.

@cowgirl8238 HAHA! I would have never noticed that. I'm awful at typing (on computers and cell phones). The sad thing is: I'm actually decent at spelling.

Let me fix that. Lol.