Got my first "and Family" RSVP

priceisright07

and the and family wasn't invited. I feel so weird having to contact them and explain the kids(teens) werent invited. But we have a smaller party room in a restaurant, so we dont have the space to invite everyone in all of the familes. It doesnt help that my fiances cousin had a wedding two months ago where EVERYONE was invited, babies, kids teens, the whole family. I guess they assumed we were doing the same? Most people only RSVPes for who was on the invite, and one other person asked if the kids were included. I hope no one else does it, because I feel so awkward having to contact thewm and say sorry, the kids arent invited

kefryar

Same here, except with dates. People have actually casually mentioned to me "oh yeah I invited ___ to come along". So awkward, I feel your pain, lady.

I will say that not inviting entire families has cut down on the guest list, not just bc of the lack of children, but because their parents decline the rsvp because they aren't able to bring the kids!

priceisright07

so far I haven't had any declines. More than half of my rsvps came back. We are having a smaller wedding to begin with so hopefully wont get too many. But most of the families are local so it shouldnt be a big deal to get a sitter for the little ones, and if it keeps people from coming, I'm sorry to hear that, but we just cant do it. I wish we could, I love the kids in my family but there are just SOOO many. lol I originally tried adding them too the list but quickly realized it would put us way over our max.

windie

I had a simular RSVP and not sure what to do. We are inviting kids (there will be about 50 of them out of the 150 we invited!) but this particular couple put 4 adults on their RSVP! (Invite said Mr & Mrs.) Their girls are in college! I have had some declines, so do we allow the +2 or if I should talk to this couple...

priceisright07

windie said:

I had a simular RSVP and not sure what to do. We are inviting kids (there will be about 50 of them out of the 150 we invited!) but this particular couple put 4 adults on their RSVP! (Invite said Mr & Mrs.) Their girls are in college! I have had some declines, so do we allow the +2 or if I should talk to this couple...

how close are yu to the people? If not very I would just call or email and say, sorry for any confusion but the invite was just for you.

windie

Good friends - and i've done youth group stuff with the girls - so its not like i don't know them. I feel like if they come, other people from that level (youth group) will wonder why they weren't invited. Does that make sense?

kkleigh10

windie said:

I had a simular RSVP and not sure what to do. We are inviting kids (there will be about 50 of them out of the 150 we invited!) but this particular couple put 4 adults on their RSVP! (Invite said Mr & Mrs.) Their girls are in college! I have had some declines, so do we allow the +2 or if I should talk to this couple...

That's so frustrating! Not to mention tacky on their part. Do you know their girls well/at all? I'm assuming no otherwise they would have gotten their own invitations. Even with a little extra space in your invite list I would probably explain to them their invite did not include their adult daughters. It's not like they'll need to find a babysitter for the night! If its really going to rock the boat you could just let it go and have them come, but just out of principal that would drive me nuts

ETA: Didn't see your response to the same question above until after I posted. Sorry!  

FutureMrsN3312

I had a feeling we would run into this problem.  So I filled in the part where it said "number of people attending"  So far so good!  (Hope I didn't jinx it...RSVP date is this Friday!)

Tho127

I had one dear friend text me when she got the invite saying "my younger daughter asked if she could come. I told her you'd be mad if I didn't bring her!"  At first I was like, 'OK sure." Then she said it would be the 4 of them - both children. I called and said, "I just had you and hubs on the list. I had no idea the girls would be interested in coming. They can come but we are playing a tight numbers game so make sure they know no +1s." Her response-"Say no more! If they aren't on your list, then me and the hubs it is!" She was compeltely understanding and I soooooo appreciated that! She actually said she may bring the daughter (21 y/o ) instead of the husband which is also fine. Crisis averted! Just explain politely. If they get angry, it is their problem and their loss of not getting to come to your fabulous wedding!

 

klburke88

I feel like all brides have this situation come up at some point. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of us are going through the exact same situation, so don't beat yourself up about it. My advice is stick to your guns. It can be a lot worse if you start making exceptions, changing plans, etc... not to mention confusing for everybody involved. 

ArtTeacher23

I had one friend who asked if it was ok to bring a guest with him; I told him we were still waiting for a few RSVPs to come back and if we had the space I'd let him know that it was alright. We did have a bunch of no's so I gave him the go-ahead. There were 2 people who added their own guest without asking, but I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it since we did have a lot of declines (including my ONLY cousin who just realized that he has a work conference that day - uhhhh you've only known about this for 2 years and you didn't put our wedding on your calendar then? whatever, that's awholenother story).

windie

I talked it over with the FH (is that the right term?) and he thinks we should just let it go. And to stop worrying about what other people may think - which was my main concern. I like these girls, so I wouldn't mind having them there - i was worried that other youth i've worked with would be upset that they didn't get an invite.

And he is right - we shouldn't worry about what others think. We are already doing A LOT of different stuff and people are probably gonna say something or be upset we didn't do this or that. Its our day and we are gonna do what we want to do!

(sorry @priceisright07 i feel like i hijacked your post!)