Etiquette

XP Alcohol Cut-off

Cross Posted to "Food and Cakes" (hope thats ok)

I was wondering if it is rude to have a point in the evening where you switch from serving alcohol to serving punch/ fancy water/coffee?  I am hosting beer, wine, and maybe a signature drink and will host that until the reception is over if it is rude not to but was contemplating switching to serving punch etc. at a certain point, likely 1 to 1.5 hours before the end of the reception.

So rude/inappropriate or ok?

Thanks!
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Re: XP Alcohol Cut-off

  • Is that because you want to save money or because of last call? I would not be personally offended either way but others might not like it.
    hlvonbs-aries8990melbelleup
  • My venue put out coffee/tea at 8 pm (ended at 1030) but didn't close the bar until 1030 I think. Maybe a few minutes before. They did warn they'd end it at 10 if people were getting sloppy but it was fine. I wouldn't cut it off. The bartenders should handle cutting off any individual that needs it.
    JasperandOpal
  • It is not to save money, I have already budgeted for beer/wine/sig for the evening but the majority of my guests are driving to the venue.  Obviously they are adults and should gauge their intake accordingly which is why I was worried it would come off rude but I also worry about everything so I don't want people to drive drunk.  But if people will interpret it as nannying them I totally will not do it and will just have all the taxi information etc available that I was already planning on having.
  • It would be rude to do this. Maybe get some cab companies numbers and leave them at the bar but you need to trust adults to be adults. Their behavior is not on you.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

  • I will say probably rude.  The only time I could think of it not being rude is if you were JUST hosting a dinner reception, which is only typical for a small wedding.  Like you've invited your guests to a restaurant as the reception and the whole reception is just a sit down dinner with visiting afterward.  Once the meal has ended, and possibly cake is being served, I don't think it would be inappropriate for the wait staff to serve coffee / water for the cake eating, and then everyone goes home.
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    It would be rude to do this. Maybe get some cab companies numbers and leave them at the bar but you need to trust adults to be adults. Their behavior is not on you.
    This. Provide cab numbers and directions near the exit.
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    s-aries8990
  • Perfect! Thanks everyone!
    wrigleyvilles-aries8990
  • Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    perdonamiSonietsjka

  • NYCBruin said:
    a13049 said:
    Unfortunately people can still get drunk and drive home before you stop serving alcohol. You could very well have good intentions of ending alcohol service and hour before the end of your reception, but Uncle Tom is already drunk. When he hears they are no longer serving, he decided to call it a night and drive home instead of hanging out and sobering up. People who are going to get drunk and drive home are going to do it regardless. If you feel a guests has crossed the line, try to arrange a ride or call a cab. Don't punish the group as a whole because someone might be stupid and over drink and drive
    Well said!  

    Also, I know plenty of people who would hear the bar was closing and immediately grab another drink because they didn't want to not have a drink for another hour.  If the bar were open, they probably would have just finished their beer and decided it wasn't worth it to get another one with only 20 minutes left in the evening.  Sometimes the best intentions can backfire.

    OP, sounds like you've decided against this anyways though!  Sounds like you have good bar tenders and cab information readily available, so you've got your bases covered.

    Or two or three and chug them down.  

    That and If they are really drunk an hour isn't enough time to sober up.
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    NYCBruinPrettyGirlLosts-aries8990
  • Viczaesar said:
    Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    You're right, that's not a popular answer.  Any time you have to preface something with "it is YOUR wedding" then what you're proposing to do is probably rude and a bad idea.
    I disagree.  At the end of the day, it's her wedding, not anyone else's.  If she prefers to stop serving alcohol at some point in the reception (financial reasons, over drinking, etc) it's her decision.  Again, my two cents.
    perdonami
  • mysticl said:

    NYCBruin said:
    a13049 said:
    Unfortunately people can still get drunk and drive home before you stop serving alcohol. You could very well have good intentions of ending alcohol service and hour before the end of your reception, but Uncle Tom is already drunk. When he hears they are no longer serving, he decided to call it a night and drive home instead of hanging out and sobering up. People who are going to get drunk and drive home are going to do it regardless. If you feel a guests has crossed the line, try to arrange a ride or call a cab. Don't punish the group as a whole because someone might be stupid and over drink and drive
    Well said!  

    Also, I know plenty of people who would hear the bar was closing and immediately grab another drink because they didn't want to not have a drink for another hour.  If the bar were open, they probably would have just finished their beer and decided it wasn't worth it to get another one with only 20 minutes left in the evening.  Sometimes the best intentions can backfire.

    OP, sounds like you've decided against this anyways though!  Sounds like you have good bar tenders and cab information readily available, so you've got your bases covered.

    Or two or three and chug them down.  

    That and If they are really drunk an hour isn't enough time to sober up.
    So much of this.  Part of the reason binge drinking is rampant with college students: 18-20 year olds don't want to be sober at the party but they drink at the party b/c they aren't 21, so they're 21 year old friend buys them some vodka and they do a series of shots before the party. 

    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Viczaesar said:
    Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    You're right, that's not a popular answer.  Any time you have to preface something with "it is YOUR wedding" then what you're proposing to do is probably rude and a bad idea.
    I disagree.  At the end of the day, it's her wedding, not anyone else's.  If she prefers to stop serving alcohol at some point in the reception (financial reasons, over drinking, etc) it's her decision.  Again, my two cents.
    It being her wedding doesn't make it ok for her to treat her guests like children or parolees. 
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    alphabridesmaids-aries8990ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderfulcowgirl8238
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Viczaesar said:
    Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    You're right, that's not a popular answer.  Any time you have to preface something with "it is YOUR wedding" then what you're proposing to do is probably rude and a bad idea.
    I disagree.  At the end of the day, it's her wedding, not anyone else's.  If she prefers to stop serving alcohol at some point in the reception (financial reasons, over drinking, etc) it's her decision.  Again, my two cents.
    No, not really.  Before the end of the ceremony it's HER wedding.  After that, it's her wedding and her guests' reception.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    alphabridesmaideileenrobthesummersky
  • SKPMSKPM
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
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    Glad that you seem to have made a decision, OP. I'll just add that, as someone who loves to drink some wine and have a good time at a wedding AND who always arranges for a taxi or DD, I would be annoyed and feel like the hosts were punishing everyone in order to prevent a few people from potentially making stupid decisions.

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    PrettyGirlLosts-aries8990cowgirl8238
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    edited April 2014


    Viczaesar said:
    Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    You're right, that's not a popular answer.  Any time you have to preface something with "it is YOUR wedding" then what you're proposing to do is probably rude and a bad idea.
    I disagree.  At the end of the day, it's her wedding, not anyone else's.  If she prefers to stop serving alcohol at some point in the reception (financial reasons, over drinking, etc) it's her decision.  Again, my two cents.
    You are correct.   In the end it is her wedding and she do whatever the hell she wants.

    That said,  SHE ask US our opinions on the matter.   I would to think that by asking the question she actually does care what others think (including her own guests) might think on the issue.  If she didn't want opposing answers then she shouldn't have asked the question.   The OP in this case seemed to like to hear various opinions.    She seems reasonable and will more than likely think through and decide for herself what works for her.

    You can also have an opposing opinion on the matter.   And NO  "it's your special day/wedding you can do what you want" is NOT an opinion on the issue at hand. It's just a catchall phrase.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLostSKPM
  • Cross Posted to "Food and Cakes" (hope thats ok)

    I was wondering if it is rude to have a point in the evening where you switch from serving alcohol to serving punch/ fancy water/coffee?  I am hosting beer, wine, and maybe a signature drink and will host that until the reception is over if it is rude not to but was contemplating switching to serving punch etc. at a certain point, likely 1 to 1.5 hours before the end of the reception.

    So rude/inappropriate or ok?

    Thanks!
    We're planning on doing that one hour before end of reception and we would offer water, coffee, tea, juice, and soda
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    When the bar closes, that signals that the event has ended and you should wind down and leave. I would get my coat and leave within 15 minutes of this. If people close the bar, it should be 30 minutes maximum before the end of the event to have everyone filter out and finish their last drinks. 

    Be prepared that people will be leaving 45-90 minutes early by closing the bar an hour/1.5 hour before the end of the event.
    mbross3PrettyGirlLostjules3964
  • edited April 2014
    Cross Posted to "Food and Cakes" (hope thats ok)

    I was wondering if it is rude to have a point in the evening where you switch from serving alcohol to serving punch/ fancy water/coffee?  I am hosting beer, wine, and maybe a signature drink and will host that until the reception is over if it is rude not to but was contemplating switching to serving punch etc. at a certain point, likely 1 to 1.5 hours before the end of the reception.

    So rude/inappropriate or ok?

    Thanks!
    We're planning on doing that one hour before end of reception and we would offer water, coffee, tea, juice, and soda

    Stuck in box!  

    @hlvonb Have you not read all the other comments here?  it's rude to do this.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    In my social circle closing the bar means the party is winding down.   Not winding down in 1-1.5 hours, but in less than 30 minutes.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    LondonLisaPrettyGirlLostcowgirl8238
  • a13049 said:
    Unfortunately people can still get drunk and drive home before you stop serving alcohol. You could very well have good intentions of ending alcohol service and hour before the end of your reception, but Uncle Tom is already drunk. When he hears they are no longer serving, he decided to call it a night and drive home instead of hanging out and sobering up. People who are going to get drunk and drive home are going to do it regardless. If you feel a guests has crossed the line, try to arrange a ride or call a cab. Don't punish the group as a whole because someone might be stupid and over drink and drive
    This. If your guests are old enough to drink they should be old enough to know when to stop drinking. 
    My venue is going to have coffee/tea and punch out all night plus water pitchers on every table. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • You need to have a licensed bartender who will serve responsibly first off. However, In the end people will drink what they want and cutting them off won't stop them from getting drunk. I know if I drink 3 glasses of wine, I'm buzzed for a good while. So stopping me an hour - 90 minutes ahead of time won't prevent me from that so I know I would want to take a cab or have someone else drive me home. It's up to the individual to make the responsible choice.

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    PrettyGirlLost
  • Viczaesar said:
    Popular answer or not, I always say it is YOUR wedding and if you want to ensure your guests safely by switching to non-alcoholic beverages at some point that is your prerogative.  I personally wouldn't be offended. 
    You're right, that's not a popular answer.  Any time you have to preface something with "it is YOUR wedding" then what you're proposing to do is probably rude and a bad idea.
    I disagree.  At the end of the day, it's her wedding, not anyone else's.  If she prefers to stop serving alcohol at some point in the reception (financial reasons, over drinking, etc) it's her decision.  Again, my two cents.
    Curious--I could be wrong, since I'm not married, but I always thought weddings were for 2 people (plus any guests of course). 
    fourtsixand2cowgirl8238
  • mbross3mbross3
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
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    edited April 2014
    hlvonb said:
    Cross Posted to "Food and Cakes" (hope thats ok)

    I was wondering if it is rude to have a point in the evening where you switch from serving alcohol to serving punch/ fancy water/coffee?  I am hosting beer, wine, and maybe a signature drink and will host that until the reception is over if it is rude not to but was contemplating switching to serving punch etc. at a certain point, likely 1 to 1.5 hours before the end of the reception.

    So rude/inappropriate or ok?

    Thanks!
    We're planning on doing that one hour before end of reception and we would offer water, coffee, tea, juice, and soda


    ------------
    People won't stay for another hour after the bar closes. The bar closing = signal for people to leave.

    ETA: quote boxes
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Why close the bar super early?  Just have the coffee available all evening. If people want it, they can get it. Otherwise close the bar at it's normal time.
    PrettyGirlLostJasperandOpalSKPMcowgirl8238
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