...

mainiac1020

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for er, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

LondonLisa

mainiac1020 said:

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for her, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

Firstly, cool it with the histrionics. The "worst of the worst" is if she slept with your Fi, punched your mother, and then stole your identity to rob you blind. 

Frankly, I dont think she has really done anything that egregious.  No one has to prioritise your wedding except for you and your fi. This woman has a child and is unemployed- That is stressful! 

1.) That is a HUGE expense for a wedding. You must have realised that when you planned a DW people might not be able to make it. Yes, she could have saved, but she also has other priorities (A CHILD). You prioritised a venue over the ability of people to attend. You need to live with that. Yes, she should have told you sooner, and if she can't make it, that is a shame. 

2.) Yes, it is bad for her to not get a gift for a shower, however, you keep saying you want someone who prioritises your wedding and gets excited for you. It sounds like she is damned if she does, damned if she doesnt. Yes, she couldn't afford a gift, but I feel like if she didn't go, you would have complained as well. 

3.) You should be getting emotional support for your wedding from your Fi. No one else is required to give it.  Yes, she shouldn't have asked to invite a date- that is not very nice, but realise she is doing everything in her power to get to your wedding (even if by questionable means).

You don't sound like you are being a very good friend. Have you talked to her about things other than your wedding. She has major stressors in her life and you are complaining that you might not get a party?! Kicking someone out of your wedding is a friendship ending move. Your post sounded very judgmental, self-absorbed and immature, so maybe you 'll be doing her a favour by not being friends anymore.  

You need to realise that everyone else has things going on in their lives and no one cares as much about your wedding as you.  I hope that you have gone back and reread some of the things you said and apologised to this woman for being so nasty. 

MobKaz

mainiac1020 said:

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for her, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

Your expectations are the only thing wrong with this picture.  The wedding party should be based on the relationship you have with people, not with what you expect to "get" from them.  It is NOT the job of your wedding party to surf the net, help wedding plan, or anything else.  

You sound as if you have done nothing but judge her and her lifestyle since you "moved away and became successful".  I think you have confused self respect with self absorbed.  

vsgal

Nobody will care about your wedding as much as you do.  She has other priorities.  She has a child.  Kid trumps wedding everytime.  You sound like a horrible friend. You judge her because she did not follow the same life path that you did.  You demand that she spend money that she doesn't have to attend your one day party that you have managed to stretch into 5 days.  You are pissed that she did not spend money on a shower gift for you .  You micromanage her involvement in the wedding.  You expect her to "emotionally support" you during the planning process.  That is not her responsibility.  If you can't handle the planning and you need help, you hire a planner or you involve your FI.  You don't cry that your MOH, who is supposed to be your nearest and dearest, doesn't give moral support, do any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc.  This is a wedding for goodness' sake, not something that needs support from everyone around you.  If you feel like you need moral support, then maybe you are not ready to get married.  The only thing your MOH needs to do is show up on the designated day of the wedding, not a week prior.  She needs to have the designated dress on.  She needs to smile for pictures. That is it.  Period.

You sound very self-absorbed.  You need to back off. 

Maggie0829

mainiac1020 said:

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for her, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

Wow, you sound like a horrible person.  This post screams "Me, me, me, me!"  Her life and her child trump your wedding every. single. time.  And you bitch because she hasn't saved up money to travel for your wedding and then you turn around and bitch that she didn't buy you a gift for your bridal shower.

You are not the center of her world and neither is your wedding.  She doesn't have to give you emotional support or stay up till 2am to look at decorations.  That is your FI job.

Honestly, I think you would be doing this girl a big favor if you just kick her out of your wedding.  She shouldn't be made to feel bad because she can't afford things that you want her to.  She shouldn't be made to feel bad because you think that you have done something with your life and you think she hasn't.  She deserves a better friend then you.

AddieCake

You have watched too many wedding shows and movies with weddings in them, I think.

climbingsingle

WOW. You are 100% in the wrong here. I don't even know where to start. Did you really expect her to get a job to be able to attend your wedding??? And you're mad that she didn't give you a gift at your shower? 

I can't I just can't with this fucking nonsense. Please grow up. 

Simply Fated

You knew how she was before you asked her to be MOH. Did you think she was going to change how she is just to attend your wedding? Like, she was all of a sudden going to get a job and do stuff JUST so she'd have money for your wedding? She didn't get a job to help support her baby, but somehow she was going to get up and get out and totes change her way of living... for YOU? lol, you got your hopes up, is all.
If she can't come, she can't come. It sucks, but you shouldn't be too surprised by that outcome. Give her the same deadline everyone else has and leave it at that.

mainiac1020

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

KatWAG

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

Oh, Newbie-zilla, dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Maggie0829

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

The feeling is very mutual @mainiac1020.

ETA (because I really just could not hold my feelings back):  I would also like to add that if you truly were a good friend you would be paying for your friends way and not expecting anything in return.  You wouldn't be pissed that she didn't get you gift, but rather just be happy with her presence especially since you know her financial situation. And you wouldn't be wondering what the hell she is doing with her life and looking down on her and her choices.  Raising a child is a huge undertaking and to say that she isn't doing anything with her life is what makes you a horrible person.  You make it sound like you are some martyr who is so fucking wonderful for even being friends with this person.  But in fact, it is this friend who is the one who is wonderful for being friends with you.

And I think you only really want her there to make you look good.  'Oh here is my friend who I had to pay for to be here because she has no job and does nothing with her life.' Way to surround yourself with people who you think are "crappier" then you just to make yourself feel better and possibly "look" better to others.

buttercup1958

You make me want to drink a Bahama mama

LondonLisa

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

This entire post reads: ME ME ME! If you need moral support to get married, then maybe you need to rethink this decision.

And I hate to break it to you, but chances are, if a group of random people are unanimous in telling you your behaviour is appalling, we are not the first ones to think it. I guarantee you DO have (a lot) people like us in your life rolling their eyes at your bridezilla behaviour. They are just not saying it to your face. 

LondonLisa

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

Oye Oye the honourable Judge Mental has arrived. All rise, Her Majesty's court is in session

vsgal

Unless you are paying her for her services, it is not her job.  

Hopefully, she sees your shitty behavior and readdresses her friendship with you.  If one of my friends treated me even a fraction of how you are treating your "friend", they would not be my friend very much longer.

If you want people at your beck and call, hire actors. 

OliveOilsMom

I just LOVE that you wanted her to get a job so she could afford to attend your wedding!  I mean, really?

manateehugger

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

Wait...I'm confused...are you marrying your MOH too? I thought part of the whole marriage deal was to have one person who you can always turn to and always want to turn to...

Glad money and your OH SO PRECIOUS AND IMPORTANT WEDDING is more important than having a realistic, calm, and understanding relationship with your friend. You realize your wedding is one day, right? The only decisions you should make on that day that have lifelong influence is formally committing your life to the person you love. 

climbingsingle

Your MOH has no responsibilities other than showing up the day of the wedding in whatever attire you selected. What kind of moral support do you need? That is ridiculous. Again, that's what your freaking FI is for. 

And why do your MOH need to prove her friendship to you? Honestly, if I were this girl, I'd never speak to you again after your wedding. You are behaving like a bridezilla. Get over yourself. 

KeptInStitches

If I were your MOH and I had any idea this is what you thought of me, it would be the end of our friendship. Absolutely. And probably before the wedding as well. What's more important: one day or your 20+ year friendship?

pinkcow13

mainiac1020 said:

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for her, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

You need to grow up. You call us judgmental? Yet you write that line that is bolded up above. It is not your friends job to stay up with you perusing the web at 2AM for your Pinterest perfect wedding. She has a kid,and whatever life choices she made are really honestly none of your business. You are not being a good friend by saying she is not doing anything with her life. She's a MOM. So yea, that's what she does. You have to realize that only you and your FI will care about your wedding as much as you do. People have lives, and other priorities that trump your wedding. You really need to put things into perspective.

grumbledore

mainiac1020 said:

When I got engaged I chose my ladies with my heart instead of my head. I don't have any sisters or close cousins so I asked my best friend since practically grade school even though our lives have become complete opposite. I moved out of state for college, graduated, again moved and now have a successful career. She never left home, never got a job, had a child, and now does....well what does she do? Despite all that we have history, and we always agreed we would be each other's MOH. I made is clear to her I was not expecting typical MOH duties from her. I simply just wanted her to concentrate on saving money for her trip ( it's a destination...roughly $1200 for flight and hotel for about five days). I told her A YEAR AGO! since then she has not tried to get a job, save money, heck she hasn't even been there for me emotionally, for moral support, any planning, late night web surfing for decorations, let me vent when I was having breakdowns etching etc. I bought her dress for her, set it up to have her passport in time, and even offered to pay for half her hotel ($500). She never even took the offer! Now it's 8 weeks before my wedding day and she tells me she can't give me ad finite answer because she's still scraping money???? Then she wants me to invite an old guy friend of mine who she has never even met because he agreed to pay for her while they were chatting on facebook. She even came to a shower my mom put on in my hometown six months ago and never brought a gift..not even a card. I'm afraid I have too much self respect to have some one stand up there with me who I truly feel never prioritized me or the wedding. I'm very torn because my heart still tells me I still need her there..... When I confront her she turns it around on me!!! Saying I have ignored her and another BM because my third one is doing all the bachelorette work...well if the third one didn't I'm afraid I wouldn't even have a party! Do I go with my heart or my gut?!?!

Quoting JIC.

All she has to do it show up.  If she pulls it together and shows up, great.  If not, then that coupled with the fact that you clearly do not like her and have no respect for her or her life decisions ought to be enough to end this "friendship."

grumbledore

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON? Who else pays for the passport, dress, and offers to pay half of her trip JUST so she can be there because she means that much to me? And yes I do expect a gift at my wedding shower which she had no part in even planning...it didn't matter if it was a homemade card...it's mostly about making me feel she cares. When she was getting married I won't even start on what I did for her, I never wanted to go there because I had more finances to do so and it never mattered. The lack of interest is what matters. I have realized one thing though, there are certainly worse people out there based on these responses so I should count my blessings I don't have people like you all in my life I suppose! Thanks for that! Simple fated however you are right, I did expect her to be different based on the event and she isn't.

You are being a spoiled little fool and you deserve every ounce of stress and self-pity you've brought upon yourself.

Emmy1493

I seriously think this screams MUD. Or OP is a troll in bride-zilla's clothing. "cause no one can really be this selfish, naive, rude, immature, classless, clueless, self-absorbed, ruthless nor uncaring to someone she calls a lifetime friend. To echo PP's, did it even occur to you before making her your MOH, that having a destination wedding might not be feasible to everyone? Even if you offered to pay part of it, she might feel horrible for you having to do so.

Also, you tell me how cheap it is to raise and pay for a child when your unemployed. My guess is you cannot tell me because if you could, this post might be completely different. As would your perspective be. Please understand you are in the wrong. And also realize you AND your FI's wedding is not the center of everyone's life right now, and will never be. So if you need help, ask the one person for it who is involved in it the most. HIM. Not your mom, or MOH or BM's. 

Couggal12

I really hope this is MUD because you are acting like a spoiled brat. How do you expect her to save all this money for your wedding when she isn't working and has a child? I don't have children yet but, some months when I wasn't working and was going to school I remember almost crying thinking of how I would pay my electricity bill or go grocery shopping. $1200 would have seemed impossible to save up for even if I had over a year.

Please just put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She has a lot going on. You don't ask someone to be your MOH because they buy you gifts for your bridal shower and give you "moral" support. You ask them because they are close to you and you want them to beside you at your wedding.

MairePoppy

April Fools Day was over two weeks ago.

jenna8984

mainiac1020 said:

Wow you are all extremely judge mental I sincerely hope the majority of you are not in the midst of planning a Wedding. Yes it IS the MOH job to stay up with me..to be my moral support....and not even in the slightest is it ONLY my FI job to be there throughout this process. My, I would HATE to have maggie0829 in my life! Weddings are a once a lifetime thing and childhood (20+ years) girlfriends dream up events like these. If she couldn't swing the destination she could have easily told me prior to 8 weeks before. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON?

Oh don't worry. If you're as self absorbed in your marriage as you are with your wedding, you'll get a second one to plan!

Seriously though, this is real life. It's not a Lifetime movie where you're a princess for the year and everyone drops what they are doing and fawns over your every beck and call for your wedding. Her priority is to take care of her child. Either you pay her whole way because you love her or you accept the fact that she can't come. You don't offer to pay half and then tout how amazing you are for offering.

sarawifenow

FFS...where's my flask?

MairePoppy

SaraBrideSoon said:

FFS...where's my flask?

Here you go

ashley8918

uh oh, she changed the title. I'm like a moth to a flame!

MyNameIsNot

Gee, I can't imagine why someone like you wouldn't have tons of close friends. 

Jen4948

DD.  No surprise.