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Torn......

laquanharrislaquanharris member
First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Party
Help! Im in the begining stages of planning a destination wedding to Turks and Caicos, and everyone ( grooms family) complaining of cost. My wedding date is May 2015. Should I continue with my dream destination wedding or change destination to somewhere more affordable???? All advice welcomed...
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Re: Torn......

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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Which is more important to you and your FI?  The wedding location or having your friends and family there?
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    doeydodoeydo member
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    laquanharris said:
    Help! Im in the begining stages of planning a destination wedding to Turks and Caicos, and everyone ( grooms family) complaining of cost. My wedding date is May 2015. Should I continue with my dream destination wedding or change destination to somewhere more affordable???? All advice welcomed...
    You and your FI have to talk about the wedding you want, can afford, and whether to have a destination wedding in which not everyone will be able to come or have a local wedding where all of your loved ones can attend.  You two need to figure out what is important to you and come to a compromise. 
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    What does your fiance say about it? You say "my dream," so it is unclear to me where HE stands on the issue.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    laquanharris said:
    Help! Im in the begining stages of planning a destination wedding to Turks and Caicos, and everyone ( grooms family) complaining of cost. My wedding date is May 2015. Should I continue with my dream destination wedding or change destination to somewhere more affordable???? All advice welcomed...
    That depends.  How badly do you want your friends and family at your wedding?

    ETA: To be clear, you plural, as in both you and your fiance.



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    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with PPs. You need to A. talk to your most important people and see if they could/would be willing to make the trip. B. Talk to fiance and see what is more important to the two of you, if some VIPs wouldn't be going.

    I'm having a DW and before we decided, we spoke to our immediate families to make sure they would be willing to go. We knew FI's dad and his family wouldn't be financially able to schlep everyone across the country so we offered to pay for their hotel. Everyone else was totally on board. 

    This may sound super shitty to some, but after we booked, my grandma's health declined and she won't be able to make the trip. I thought about it for a weeks and talked to FI about it several times and we decided to keep the plans as-is. As much as I love my grandma and want her there, we knew we wanted this DW and it means a lot to us. So DW it is. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You have a decision to make.  If you really want these people at your wedding no matter what, then either you have to pay for them to go to Turks and Caicos, or you need to give up your "dream" and hold the wedding they can afford to attend without having to break their budgets for expensive travel on top of attire, hair and makeup, accessories, and gifts for you.

    If having it in Turks and Caicos because it's your "dream" matters more, than you need to accept that they won't be there.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Destination weddings usually only work well when there is a very small family.  If you want your friends and family surrounding you when you are married, then have your wedding locally, and honeymoon at Turks and Caicos.
    No, you can't have it both ways.  No re-do wedding reception after you return.  A nice party is OK.
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    msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
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    Turks and Caicos, while beautiful, is extremely expensive. If you want a destination wedding that more people might be able to attend, you may want to choose a cheaper location, such as Cancun or Jamaica.

    In the end, as the PPs have said, you may have to choose between dream location and family attendance.

    I'm having my destination wedding in 4 weeks. Of the 100 we invited 60 are going. And, we are even fronting the costs for some VIPs. But, it is what it is. The VIPs will be there, and that is most important to us.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    laquanharris said:
    Help! Im in the begining stages of planning a destination wedding to Turks and Caicos, and everyone ( grooms family) complaining of cost. My wedding date is May 2015. Should I continue with my dream destination wedding or change destination to somewhere more affordable???? All advice welcomed...
    If it is important to you and your FI to have your families there and they can't afford it, then yeah, you should plan something else.

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    tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    FI and I planned a DW. We wanted both of our families to attend so we offered to pay for everyone's travel and place to stay. We started booking it and then FI's dad got really sick and could no longer travel. We cancelled our DW, ate the deposits, and planned a wedding at home. It was more important to us that our family be there than that we had a pretty location. Only you and your FI can decide which is more important to you.
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