Proofread my invites please

PrincessOfHavoc

Doctor KingOfHavoc and
Mr and Mrs KingOfMayhem
request the honor of your presence 
at the unity of marriage of their children

PrincessOfHavoc

and

DukeOfMayhem

Friday, the thirty first day of October
two thousand fourteen
at half past six o'clock

Church
Address

Both families are hosting, it's not black tie formal, and my father is widowed. It looks off to me, but I think it may related to not having my mother mentioned.

This is the first draft, we've got a bit of time yet. We're not sending save the dates as everyone is local, but all guests are aware of wedding date already.

cambryn

I would skip the 'unity of marriage' and say 'at the marriage of their children.' The wording before makes it sound off, and have the word 'of' too close together.

Mitch617

I agree on the "unity of marraige" piece and also I'd eliminate "day" and just say "Friday, the thirty-first of October".

theartistformerlyknownas

I don't like the "marriage of their children" line. You are adults. I would leave it at "at the marriage of" or "as name and name are united in marriage."

CMGragain

Doctor KingOfHavoc
Mr and Mrs KingOfMayhem
request the honor of your presence 
at the marriage of

PrincessOfHavoc

and

DukeOfMayhem

Friday, the thirty-first of October
two thousand fourteen
at half after six o'clock

Church
Address
City, State

PrincessOfHavoc

Thanks! I was basing ours from another wedding, but it did look off.

huskypuppy14

You're still your parent's children, whether you are 2 or 102 years old. 

CMGragain

laurynm84 said:

You're still your parent's children, whether you are 2 or 102 years old. 

The wedding invitation is a simple note from the hosts to the guests.  It is not a family tree, or a place to explain relationships. Iif you want to call yourself a "child", you can certainly do that, but I think it sounds a bit odd.

Mitch617

The "children" thing just depends on your personal preference, but even the lady selling my invitations mentioned she doesn't like that and would eliminate it. "It makes it sound like you are children and if you are children you shouldn't be getting married" she said. I'm still my parents child but I'm 27 and my fiancé and I have been living together for 2 years. If we were 22, just out of college, and still living with parents it might feel more appropriate to me.