Men CAN be taught!!

HisGirlFriday13

I have posted before about a wedding DH and I were invited to. It's in June; a DW on the beach in a state about 8 hours from us; on a Tuesday; we're supposed to come in Saturday night and leave Thursday so that we can 'have a mini-vaca' but also so the B/G can get a free beach house rental; we're supposed to share this beach house rental from Sat-Thurs with other people we don't know; the wedding site is outside and accessible only by boat with no contingency plan for inside; the 'reception' is 'pay-your-own-way' at a restaurant the B/G chose; and there's a dress code of 'beach casual,' which involves khakis and specific colour palettes.

We declined LITERALLY the day we received the invitation. It came in the mail, I opened it, filled out the RSVP card, and sent it back. Done.

So last night, DH comes home and says to me, 'You know, it's probably a good thing we're not going to John and Jane's wedding.'

Me: 'Oh? Why is that?'

Him: [Other mutual friend of B and DH] is going to be officiating the ceremony.

Me: But Friend isn't religious and isn't a minister and isn't an elected official with the legal power to conduct a marriage in our state, let alone in Wedding State.

Him: Yeahhhh.....about that.....

Me: What?

Him: So, it seems that Bride and Groom are getting married before their wedding. Bride told me they're going to the JOP a few weeks before their wedding and getting the 'legal part' done and over with, so that Friend can perform their ceremony and they don't have to jump through all those hoops in Wedding State, like going down early to get the marriage licence and stuff. She said they're not telling anyone other than Friend who's officiating, and us, so it's a secret. They don't want people to know their beach wedding isn't real.

Me; ::blink, blink, blink::

Him: And, I thought of what you and your Knotter people call this, the princess day or whatever. And I never really understood why you object so much to it, but now I kind of get it. It's really shitty that they're lying to her parents [who are paying for this, obtw] and all their families, just because it's 'easier.' I think that's stupid.

Me: Yes. Well. Now you know why TK frowns on PPDs.

Him: I didn't tell her that I think she's rude. But I am glad you decided we weren't going. 

larrygaga

They really can be. My dad didn't understand why cash bars were evil until he went to a wedding with one. He realized that after sitting through the ceremony and traveling and the hotel room and the gift, he figured the least they could do with buy him a few beers. He's sort of a grumpy old man. lol

I guess he really doesn't have the exact reason why cash bars are bad down, but he knows they are bad. Now he won't push me to do it, anymore. 

Grabows14

Ha, nicely done!

HisGirlFriday13

Btw, do you love that, in DH's mind, y'all are 'Knotters'? That cracked me up. He's always like, 'How are your Knot people? Your Knotters? Your Knot Brides?' I'm always like, 'Knotties, sweetie, Knotties.'

sarawifenow

Go HisGirl's DH!

sarahufl

Every time you post about this wedding I just keep thinking things CAN'T get worse.

Then they do.

crackktheskyy

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Btw, do you love that, in DH's mind, y'all are 'Knotters'? That cracked me up. He's always like, 'How are your Knot people? Your Knotters? Your Knot Brides?' I'm always like, 'Knotties, sweetie, Knotties.'

This is seriously adorable. I can totally picture my FI saying the same. 

Bubblegum5586

I know every state is different but I had my Uncle who lives in NM officiate my wedding in MA. He is a religious leader at his temple but not a rabbi or anything else that would typically allow him to officiate a wedding (our wedding was the first time he did it).. He went through my state's website, applied and paid the $25 and we were all set. Easy peasy. But again, maybe it is much harder in this other state?!

Yea this sounded pretty bad before the whole PPD, I do tend to make weddings we travel to into mini vacas. But it is always our decision and we decided where we will stay.

KatWAG

I have said it before, and I will say it again, your H is a keeper.

HisGirlFriday13

@sarahufl -- I know. I'm torn between telling him not to tell me anymore because if he does, I'm liable to roll my eyes straight out the back of my damn head, and wanting him to tell me EVERYTHING because then I can tell you all. 

@bubblegum1309 -- I don't have any idea what the rules of the state (we're in PA; they're getting married in SC), but what bugs me more is the lack of even TRYING -- I mean, you went through the state's website, you did all the paperwork. It also seems, from what DH said, like they started with 'well, we don't want to go through the hassle of getting a marriage licence in SC when we're in PA, so we'll just do the paperwork here,' and then decided, since they would already legally be married, it didn't matter who 'officiated.' 

If you want to have a DW, that's fine, but you should be willing to commit to the hoops of making it legal.

This was also the bride who wanted me and DH to re-arrange our travel plans for our recent honeymoon to be over her wedding. Uhm....no.

@KatWAG -- thanks!! I think he's pretty awesome!! I see by your ticker that you're almost done baking that little baby. I was thinking this morning I wanted to wish you congratulations and a good weekend, because this might be the last weekend before baby!!

KatWAG

@hisgirlfriday13 Thanks! Monday is D-Day (and my birthday!) But it looks like his little dude is comfy and might stay put a little while longer.

HisGirlFriday13

KatWAG said:

@hisgirlfriday13 Thanks! Monday is D-Day (and my birthday!) But it looks like his little dude is comfy and might stay put a little while longer.

How sweet would it be if he were born on your birthday, though?? That would be awesome!!

What is it about boys and being comfortable? My nephew was 10 days late and my SIL naturally went into labour around 3 a.m. the day she was scheduled for an induction at 10 a.m. 

A friend of mine has three kids -- a girl and then two boys -- and both of the boys were 10 days late (and again, born right before they would have been induced.)

HobokenBride just had a son, too, and I seem to recall that he was born after his due date as well. 

Men. They're late literally from the beginning of their lives.

KatWAG

HisGirlFriday13 said:

KatWAG said:

@hisgirlfriday13 Thanks! Monday is D-Day (and my birthday!) But it looks like his little dude is comfy and might stay put a little while longer.

How sweet would it be if he were born on your birthday, though?? That would be awesome!!

What is it about boys and being comfortable? My nephew was 10 days late and my SIL naturally went into labour around 3 a.m. the day she was scheduled for an induction at 10 a.m. 

A friend of mine has three kids -- a girl and then two boys -- and both of the boys were 10 days late (and again, born right before they would have been induced.)

HobokenBride just had a son, too, and I seem to recall that he was born after his due date as well. 

Men. They're late literally from the beginning of their lives.

Well if he doesnt want to come on my birthday, he will be forced out on H's birthday (May 7) since its my induction day! Its a busy few weeks for us.

This little dude can be as late as he wants, as long as he doesnt break me on his way out!  

pinkcow13

LOL I love that he called us your "Knotter people!"

I remember you posting about this wedding. I'm sure there will be updates after the fact, because someone is BOUND to find out about this. 

misshart00

KatWAG said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

KatWAG said:

@hisgirlfriday13 Thanks! Monday is D-Day (and my birthday!) But it looks like his little dude is comfy and might stay put a little while longer.

How sweet would it be if he were born on your birthday, though?? That would be awesome!!

What is it about boys and being comfortable? My nephew was 10 days late and my SIL naturally went into labour around 3 a.m. the day she was scheduled for an induction at 10 a.m. 

A friend of mine has three kids -- a girl and then two boys -- and both of the boys were 10 days late (and again, born right before they would have been induced.)

HobokenBride just had a son, too, and I seem to recall that he was born after his due date as well. 

Men. They're late literally from the beginning of their lives.

Well if he doesnt want to come on my birthday, he will be forced out on H's birthday (May 7) since its my induction day! Its a busy few weeks for us.

This little dude can be as late as he wants, as long as he doesnt break me on his way out!  

My daughter was a week early. They called me the morning I went to the hospital to schedule an induction for a few weeks later.

Congrats Kat!

SammiNJonni

Part of me almost wishes you were going for the play by play of disasters that will happen.

My FI calls ya'll knot people too maybe one day he will learn knottie lol

PrettyGirlLost

Doesn't she realize that some of her friends and family, including her parents, are probably going to figure out that this friend who is officiating has no legal standing to do so?  And then those people are going to start connecting the dots. . . and then they are very likely going to be pissed by the time the reception rolls around.

HisGirlFriday13

PrettyGirlLost said:

Doesn't she realize that some of her friends and family, including her parents, are probably going to figure out that this friend who is officiating has no legal standing to do so?  And then those people are going to start connecting the dots. . . and then they are very likely going to be pissed by the time the reception Dutch-treat dinner rolls around.

She only invited 40 people, and from what DH has said, so far only her parents, his parents, and however many grandparents they have alive are attending, so it's a pretty small crowd.

FTFY

It's not a 'reception' if you're making your guests pay their own way.

RebeccaB88

Part of me almost wishes you were going for the play by play of disasters that will happen.

Totally ditto this. Can the Fake Officiant Type Person provide us with a play by play of the shitshow? We NEED to know. For public service, you know.

sophhabobopha

This 'wedding' makes me queasy. 

tammym1001

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@sarahufl -- I know. I'm torn between telling him not to tell me anymore because if he does, I'm liable to roll my eyes straight out the back of my damn head, and wanting him to tell me EVERYTHING because then I can tell you all. 

@bubblegum1309 -- I don't have any idea what the rules of the state (we're in PA; they're getting married in SC), but what bugs me more is the lack of even TRYING -- I mean, you went through the state's website, you did all the paperwork. It also seems, from what DH said, like they started with 'well, we don't want to go through the hassle of getting a marriage licence in SC when we're in PA, so we'll just do the paperwork here,' and then decided, since they would already legally be married, it didn't matter who 'officiated.' 

If you want to have a DW, that's fine, but you should be willing to commit to the hoops of making it legal.

This was also the bride who wanted me and DH to re-arrange our travel plans for our recent honeymoon to be over her wedding. Uhm....no.

@KatWAG -- thanks!! I think he's pretty awesome!! I see by your ticker that you're almost done baking that little baby. I was thinking this morning I wanted to wish you congratulations and a good weekend, because this might be the last weekend before baby!!

FI and I were originally planning a DW in SC. I'm pretty sure all we had to do was apply for the marriage license in person and wait 24 hours to go back and pick it up. Since we were planning a Saturday wedding that meant we would have had to go down on Thursday and pick it up on Friday. How hard is that?

ETA: I just realized you said their wedding was on Tuesday so they could go down on Monday morning, apply for the license, and pick it up on Tuesday morning. One day early and they would rather do a PPD instead. Crazy!

wrigleyville

"Knotter" makes me think of "Nutter", as in crazy people, so that made me laugh.

wrigleyville

"Knotter" makes me think of "Nutter", as in crazy people, so that made me laugh.

hyechica81

" you have to pay your own way for dinner at a place b and g choose" how rude is that inviting me to your wedding expecting me and dh to help pay for beach rental  dictate what clothes we can wear and then expect us to foot the dinner bill for the two of us hell no.

she should be footing the whole bill for all the guests at the wedding meals drinks deserts if she cant afford it then she should have cake and punch after at the beach house..

HisGirlFriday13

wrigleyville said:

"Knotter" makes me think of "Nutter", as in crazy people, so that made me laugh.

If DH is making that connection as well, he's not wrong about us.

Teddy917

HisGirlFriday13 said:

KatWAG said:

@hisgirlfriday13 Thanks! Monday is D-Day (and my birthday!) But it looks like his little dude is comfy and might stay put a little while longer.

How sweet would it be if he were born on your birthday, though?? That would be awesome!!

What is it about boys and being comfortable? My nephew was 10 days late and my SIL naturally went into labour around 3 a.m. the day she was scheduled for an induction at 10 a.m. 

A friend of mine has three kids -- a girl and then two boys -- and both of the boys were 10 days late (and again, born right before they would have been induced.)

HobokenBride just had a son, too, and I seem to recall that he was born after his due date as well. 

Men. They're late literally from the beginning of their lives.

My husband is the exact opposite. He was born early and even now has the mentality of "better to be early and wait than to be late and miss the fun".

AzAnnie

Awwww...love him! He's a keeper!

ShadeofGreen816

tammym1001 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@sarahufl -- I know. I'm torn between telling him not to tell me anymore because if he does, I'm liable to roll my eyes straight out the back of my damn head, and wanting him to tell me EVERYTHING because then I can tell you all. 

@bubblegum1309 -- I don't have any idea what the rules of the state (we're in PA; they're getting married in SC), but what bugs me more is the lack of even TRYING -- I mean, you went through the state's website, you did all the paperwork. It also seems, from what DH said, like they started with 'well, we don't want to go through the hassle of getting a marriage licence in SC when we're in PA, so we'll just do the paperwork here,' and then decided, since they would already legally be married, it didn't matter who 'officiated.' 

If you want to have a DW, that's fine, but you should be willing to commit to the hoops of making it legal.

This was also the bride who wanted me and DH to re-arrange our travel plans for our recent honeymoon to be over her wedding. Uhm....no.

@KatWAG -- thanks!! I think he's pretty awesome!! I see by your ticker that you're almost done baking that little baby. I was thinking this morning I wanted to wish you congratulations and a good weekend, because this might be the last weekend before baby!!

FI and I were originally planning a DW in SC. I'm pretty sure all we had to do was apply for the marriage license in person and wait 24 hours to go back and pick it up. Since we were planning a Saturday wedding that meant we would have had to go down on Thursday and pick it up on Friday. How hard is that?

ETA: I just realized you said their wedding was on Tuesday so they could go down on Monday morning, apply for the license, and pick it up on Tuesday morning. One day early and they would rather do a PPD instead. Crazy!

I'm getting married in SC in. August and this is 100% true. How hard is that. Until I came on here, it literally never occurred to me to not get married on the same day as my "wedding"