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So many levels of wrong

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Re: So many levels of wrong

  • I was actually a little afraid to google "purity balls" when I first saw the news story for fear of what would pop up on my work computer. I think I was picturing some sort of cross between a chastity belt and those fake balls stud muffins men with small penises hang from their trucks.


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  • SammiNJonniSammiNJonni member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2014
    the "daddy is your boyfriend" thing creeps me out. If you want to save yourself till marriage fine but you don't need a ball to prove it.
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  • Now I'm think chastity belts with the 50 trainwrecks balls.
  • The cross photos were new to me. I've heard of purity dances, but nobody in our (very conservative) circle really did those. They creep me out, too. Abstinence pledges were common, and some girls got purity rings from their parents, often as like a birthday or "coming of age" type gift. 
  • kaos16 said:
    Omg. I thought these were physical balls to represent purity and you are giving that physical gift in representation. This topic had a very different (and confusing) meaning to me.

    Me too!
    Glad I'm not the only one. The title can be taken so wrong...
    Me too! And in my mind they were silver, and engraved. And looked like testicles. >_<

    That being said, this is also creepy.  I think it's ok for parents to teach their kids about waiting if that's what they believe in, but that the kids should learn the whole story. They should still be taught about safe sex and love and making their own decisions, and that they'll be loved no matter what they decide to do.  But to turn it into a wedding-like ball is making it way too important.  This is why some girls/women who grew up in this culture and then decide not to wait until marriage feel like they're damaged goods, or like they can never step foot in a church, or whatever.   And why aren't the guys having their own purity balls with their moms? 

    Also, "daddy is my boyfriend" sounds like it belongs in an episode of Law & Order: SVU.  

  • Ditto the creepiness and sexist factors.  I also feel like it encourages the girls who keep the pledge to marry young, to the first boy who asks, (cause not many of us could hold out for Mr. Right until age 30+ without so much as a kiss).  I saw a few girls in this type of movement get married in college, to guys they had been dating since high school and immediately being stay at home moms.  None of those are bad choices per se, but I feel like it's a good idea to at least experience some of what's out there in life before making a choice and settling down.  Not sure these girls will get that chance.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
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    WTF.  If these parents want their children to promise to be "pure" before marriage (which is a ridiculous thing to ask of your children to promise, because they do not fully understand all that comes with choosing to have sex nor are they old enough to decide things for the rest of their lives), why do they not do the exact same things they do with their daughters with their sons?  Oh right, because who cares if a guy isn't a virgin, right?  Just as long as the women are suppressed, virgins, and dream of getting married and being a SAHM.  /rant
    Also, nothing wrong with choosing to wait until marriage or being religious.  Also nothing wrong with being a SAHM, my mom was one.  
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  • lc07lc07 member
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    This is so fucking creepy. I have never heard of this before. And I figured it was a bracelet with balls on it not A BALL. And not having your boyfriend be your dad! WHAT?! This reminds me of a girl I met freshman year of college. She was taking it up the ass because she wanted to stay a virgin for her future husband whom she had not met yet. Uh... I'm pretty sure anal sex counts as sex...
  • Omg. I thought these were physical balls to represent purity and you are giving that physical gift in representation. This topic had a very different (and confusing) meaning to me.
    This was the exact thought I had! 
  • Rebl90Rebl90 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Unfortunately I've heard of them, and I've judged them majorly.  I was raised in a conservative home and my parents gave me the "no sex till marriage talk" when I was 13 and left me alone after that. And you know what, because they didn't harp on it or make it seem like the end of the world I was able to make my own decision and and am happy with the choice I made to stay abstinent until I get married.  AND I can respect people who have made different decisions than I because I wasn't harassed about it or paraded around at a "purity ball" that told me I was better than everyone else. 


    People need to stop screwing their kids up. Seriously.
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  • I only know about them, because of the TV show Shameless.
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  • BreMRBreMR member
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    In to say that I also envisioned different balls.... 

    When I was about 13 I had a really straight laced best friend who told me about purity rings, and I thought "That's a beautiful idea, I think I"ll do it" and then I bought a ring to wear... I went to my dad's one weekend and told him my plan and he said "I wouldn't commit yourself to something like that, you're going to get older, you're going to want to experiment, and you will only put a stigma on something you've done and feel guilty about it."   It definitely came as a shock to hear that coming from my dad, but I figured he was probably right.. and that was that! 

    FWIW, I didn't go crazy and experiment, I knew I didn't want to have random sex the first time and I waited for love.. and I'm still with my boyfriend to this day... 12 years later.  :)
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  • FiancBFiancB member
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    These have been going for a while. Thank god they weren't a thing until I was out of high school, that I know of, or my dad would've totally dragged me to that shit. If he could get over his fear of talking about sex, at least. There were purity rings and a speaker did come to HS to talk about pledging and waiting and even born-again virgins. 

    I did get a book about how if I had sex I was the equivalent of a half eaten pizza, or something like that.

    SURPRISE! I still had premarital sex. 
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  • FiancB said:
    I did get a book about how if I had sex I was the equivalent of a half eaten pizza, or something like that.
    Who doesn't like cold, leftover pizza?

    I'd say that that's a win!
  • Gag me with a freaking spoon. I find this disturbing on so many levels. A woman's body is hers to decide what to do with as she pleases. This for me goes with the 19 kids and counting mentality, there was a thread somewhere, the dad tells uses a metaphor about a "used bicycle" or something. No one is "used" or damaged goods if they choose to engage in premarital sex (again disgusting).

    "Purity" in terms of sex needs to be changed. In the early days, purity was defined by bloody sheets, and an intact hymen. But, this definition should be changed. As we know a hymen can be broken during non-sexual activities, and some women aren't even born with one. 

    If a woman chooses to wait to have sex until marriage, thats fine, but they should make an informed decision (not dictated by their parents) and should not "pledge" their virginity to their fathers, because it sounds incestuous at best.  
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