Most inappropriate songs to request at reception & how do you 100% prevent them from being requested

EricaCat1

Hi everyone.  I was wondering what you think are the most inappropriate songs to request at a wedding reception?  Songs that you would absolutely put on the "Do Not Play List" for the deejay.  More importantly, how would you prevent mischievous guests from requesting some such songs??  It happened to my friend at her 1999 wedding: one of her guy friends who was in his early twenties at the time requested "Lonely Swedish" (The Bum Bum Song) by Tom Green and tricked the deejay by saying the bride's a huge Tom Green fan and would love to hear the song!  (Not true).  And he didn't stop there.  He also decided to request Juvenile's "Back That Thang Up" and even though rap was on the bride's do not play list, this dude again tricked the deejay by saying that she doesn't like rap but that song is her one exception because she thinks it is excellent to dance to!!  (Again not true).  This fellow then proceeded to dance very umm...ostentatiously to "Back That Thang Up" on the dance floor, twerking long before twerking was a word lol!  Well...the bride was good-natured about it, but her stepfather and his three USNA friends were fricking PISSED!!!!  I mean if looks could kill!  Many guests thought it was funny, but those US Naval Academy guys did not think it was funny at all.  The bride's stepdad has never liked this man since.  Considering he helped pay for the wedding (which was grand, classy, and beautiful), her stepfather didn't find it amusing.  You just don't do that a wedding.....especially one where there are four high-class, dignified, decorated USNA alumni.  (But this is the type of guy who wouldn't have cared if Queen Elizabeth was at that wedding....he would've done what he did anyway).  So what in your opinion are the most inappropriate songs to request at a reception that you would definitely put on the Do Not Play List not so much break-up wise because you could just blanket that with "please don't play any break-up songs at my reception", but silly or crass humor-wise??  (For example, Samwell's "What What").  And more importantly, how do you make it foolproof; how do you 100% prevent impish guests from requesting such songs..and tricking the deejay into playing them?  :0

Gina0887

If you're that worried about it, tell your DJ no song requests without your approval or just no song requests that involve anything provocative. If he is unsure to ask you first.

AprilH81

Talk to the DJ about your concerns and if your friends are the type of people to do something like this tell your DJ to not accept requests.  You can also ask your DJ to only play clean/radio version of all songs in case something falls through the cracks.

Unless it is super vulgar I don't know that it is that big of a deal honestly...  Even if I didn't like a song, one guest making a food of himself dancing doesn't reflect poorly on the couple.

OliveOilsMom

You need to have a good DJ who will work for you and no one else.  I had a Do Not Play list, one of which was no line dancing type songs.  My niece really wanted the Cupid Shuffle and my brother requested a few rap songs, so the DJ didn't play them, but instead asked us if they were allowed to be played.  We made the final decisions.

jenna8984

I did not put any specific songs on the do not play, I just said "do not play anything obscene, vulgar, or inappropriate as well as nothing cheesy/ choreographed such as cupid's shuffle/ Macarena". I don't think someone would need an actual specific list, otherwise they are not a good DJ. Get lots of recommendations before booking. 

But if you want an exact list here's a few: Sisqo-Thong Song, Rhihanna- Rude Boy (anything by Rhianna really), LL Cool J- Doin it, Mix a lot- Baby got back, Akon- I wanna fuck you, 50 cent- get on your knees, Lil Wayne- Lollipop, Avant- making good love, Marvin Gay- Let's get it on. 

MyNameIsNot

A good DJ will take a do not play list.  You give them a list of anything you particularly don't want.  Any DJ worth the money can get out of it without getting "tricked" into playing something.  He'll just say he doesn't have it available. 

But in the end, this isn't the biggest issue in the world.  Your marriage won't fail if "back that thing up" is played at your reception.  

AddieCake

In addition to what PPs have said, this is entirely personal. What one bride finds inappropriate may not be what another bride does.

Jen4948

Have a "do not play" list incorporated into your contract with your DJ, as well as a clause stating no requests.

EricaCat1

Jen4948 said:

Have a "do not play" list incorporated into your contract with your DJ, as well as a clause stating no requests.

The only problem with the clause is that it seems to punish "behaving guests" who might request really beautiful songs.  =\

singinchick13

In addition to what PPs have said, this is entirely personal. What one bride finds inappropriate may not be what another bride does.

*Stuck and failing at quotes*

This, absolutely. FTR we are totally playing "Baby Got Back" at our wedding.

ETA: Sorry for the double post. Not getting along with the laptop today.

singinchick13

In addition to what PPs have said, this is entirely personal. What one bride finds inappropriate may not be what another bride does.

*Stuck and failing at quotes*

This, absolutely. FTR we are totally playing "Baby Got Back" at our wedding.

PrincessOfHavoc

Easy fix - no DJ or dancing.

Given as our choice in music makes Baby Got Back look like a kid friendly pop number. And while Grandma doesn't mind hearing Closer, NIN is tame for us. Not sure Watain is exactly wedding friendly. Even if Grandma doesn't mind that. Which is all fine until she explains to her church friends exactly what that young man said and found nothing wrong with it (one asked what was he doing to who in reference to Closer - Grandma just quoted it back to her and suggested her granddaughter and I leave the room so she could explain the act further. We ran!)

Of recent hearing - Blurred Lines. Seriously makes me furious and we did leave the reception. Just plain no. There is nothing about that trash that's remotely acceptable.

Really, I've heard a number of head scratching songs (Du Hast, that blasted apple bottom jeans song, anything referring to a ho) but I can live and let live to most.

LarraO2530

Agreed with PPs, if the DJ has experience and is a GOOD DJ, there won't be a problem with being "tricked" into playing songs deemed inappropriate or on the "do not play" list. Many of the DJs FI and I have looked around at have all said the same thing: "we accept a must play list (first dance/spotlight/cake cutting etc) and a do not play list, we use our disgression for anything similar to songs/genres on the do not play list, and when in doubt, we always ask the B & G."

wandajune6

My sister's husband's friends (not sure of the acronym!) were known to be mischievous with these things. There were a few songs and rules that were on their do not play list- basically, no chicken dance, "One Night in Bangkok," no line dancing, and nothing with demeaning language. She wasn't super-concerned about the language but wanted to avoid any music that was glaringly offensive.

I believe their contract outlined a schedule of penalties for broken rules. They ended up signing something for the DJ at the wedding permitting a song that had been on the no-play list. It ended up working out nicely.

PrettyGirlLost

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Easy fix - no DJ or dancing. Given as our choice in music makes Baby Got Back look like a kid friendly pop number. And while Grandma doesn't mind hearing Closer, NIN is tame for us. Not sure Watain is exactly wedding friendly. Even if Grandma doesn't mind that. Which is all fine until she explains to her church friends exactly what that young man said and found nothing wrong with it (one asked what was he doing to who in reference to Closer - Grandma just quoted it back to her and suggested her granddaughter and I leave the room so she could explain the act further. We ran!)

Of recent hearing - Blurred Lines. Seriously makes me furious and we did leave the reception. Just plain no. There is nothing about that trash that's remotely acceptable.

Really, I've heard a number of head scratching songs (Du Hast, that blasted apple bottom jeans song, anything referring to a ho) but I can live and let live to most.

Meh, Blurred Lines doesn't bother me although now I think it's over played.  But I couldn't care less if it was played at my reception. 

I'd be annoyed to hear more than 1 or 2 country songs, and I was considering putting all of those stupid line dance songs on my Do Not Play list, but most other guests like to dance to them, so I'm just going to ask the DJ not to play too many of them.

theartistformerlyknownas

How dumb are these DJ's that they're so easily "tricked?" Sheesh. 

We have a "must play" list, and a "do not play" list of things that are common at weddings that we just don't care for (like most of the Black Eyed Peas' repertoire). Other than that they'll be asked to play music that's appropriate for an all-ages wedding. These are wedding DJ's, they know what that means. We don't need to ask them not to play "Lollipop" or "Bump n Grind." Any DJ who would play those at a wedding, regardless of being requested, has no business working weddings. Do not recruit your DJ at the club and you'll be ok.

zitiqueen

EricaCat1 said:

Hi everyone.  I was wondering what you think are the most inappropriate songs to request at a wedding reception?  Songs that you would absolutely put on the "Do Not Play List" for the deejay.  More importantly, how would you prevent mischievous guests from requesting some such songs??  It happened to my friend at her 1999 wedding: one of her guy friends who was in his early twenties at the time requested "Lonely Swedish" (The Bum Bum Song) by Tom Green and tricked the deejay by saying the bride's a huge Tom Green fan and would love to hear the song!  (Not true).  And he didn't stop there.  He also decided to request Juvenile's "Back That Thang Up" and even though rap was on the bride's do not play list, this dude again tricked the deejay by saying that she doesn't like rap but that song is her one exception because she thinks it is excellent to dance to!!  (Again not true).  This guy then proceeded to dance very umm...ostentatiously to "Back That Thang Up" on the dance floor, twerking long before twerking was a word lol!  Well...the bride was good-natured about it, but her stepfather and his three USNA friends were fricking PISSED!!!!  I mean if looks could kill!  Many guests thought it was funny, but those US Naval Academy fellows did not think it was funny at all.  The bride's stepdad has never liked this man since.  Considering he helped pay for the wedding (which was grand, classy, and beautiful), her stepfather didn't find it amusing.  You just don't do that a wedding.....especially one where there are four high-class, dignified, decorated USNA alumni.  (But this is the type of guy who wouldn't have cared if Queen Elizabeth was at that wedding....he would've done what he did anyway).  So what in your opinion are the most inappropriate songs to request at a reception that you would definitely put on the Do Not Play List not so much break-up wise because you could just blanket that with "please don't play any break-up songs at my reception", but silly or crass humor-wise??  (For example, Samwell's "What What").  And more importantly, how do you make it foolproof; how do you 100% prevent impish guests from requesting such songs..and tricking the deejay into playing them?  :0

Don't hire a stupid DJ. Problem solved.

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

Do not recruit your DJ at the club and you'll be ok.

We're actually using a club DJ! But it's someone we know really well and he's played other events that are more "all ages". And even the club he DJs at, not too bump and grind. More re-mixes/dance mixes, older songs, pop hits, ect. 

A good DJ who knows what they're doing...knows what they are doing. Meet with your DJ, discuss your concerns and what you want played/don't want played. What will give Grandma the fits and what will get everyone on the floor, and then they'll do their thing.

lyndausvi

I think the only song on the do not play list was Macerana.  I hate that damn song.  I think we said no hard-core rap and watch the language. 

  I had most of the other line dance songs on the by request only.   Which most were request, which was fine by us.   I couldn't imagine telling my 70 year Aunt she can't hear her favorite YMCA   The song lasted all of 3 minutes. Not something I cared to micro-manage.   As it turned out it packed the floor.   10 year old to 84 years olds were out there.     Pretty cute pictures as a result.  

If a song came on that I wasn't thrilled about I hit up the bathroom or the bar or a table to talk to guests.  NBD to us.

That all said, our DJ rocked.  We had a wide range of guests and he hit mark to keep everyone of all ages on the dance floor.  Heck, they were dancing between food courses.

PrettyGirlLost

lyndausvi said:

I think the only song on the do not play list was Macerana.  I hate that damn song.  I think we said no hard-core rap and watch the language. 

  I had most of the other line dance songs on the only by request only.   Which most were request, which was fine by us.   I couldn't imagine telling my 70 year Aunt she can't hear her favorite YMCA   The song lasted all of 3 minutes. Not something I cared to micro-manage.   As it turned out it packed the floor.   10 year old to 84 years olds were out there.     Pretty cute pictures as a result.  

If a song came on that I wasn't thrilled about I hit up the bathroom or the bar or a table to talk to guests.  NBD to us.

That all said, our DJ rocked.  We had a wide range of guests and he hit mark to keep everyone of all ages on the dance floor.  Heck, they were dancing between food courses.

Oh snap!  That's a very good idea- thanks :-)

lyndausvi

PrettyGirlLost said:

lyndausvi said:

I think the only song on the do not play list was Macerana.  I hate that damn song.  I think we said no hard-core rap and watch the language. 

  I had most of the other line dance songs on the only by request only.   Which most were request, which was fine by us.   I couldn't imagine telling my 70 year Aunt she can't hear her favorite YMCA   The song lasted all of 3 minutes. Not something I cared to micro-manage.   As it turned out it packed the floor.   10 year old to 84 years olds were out there.     Pretty cute pictures as a result.  

If a song came on that I wasn't thrilled about I hit up the bathroom or the bar or a table to talk to guests.  NBD to us.

That all said, our DJ rocked.  We had a wide range of guests and he hit mark to keep everyone of all ages on the dance floor.  Heck, they were dancing between food courses.

Oh snap!  That's a very good idea- thanks :-)

As long as it wasn't vulgar I just didn't see the point in mirco-managing ever little song.  The wedding is about the guests and I certainly can deal with Shout or YMCA or any other song our guests requested in moderation.

They last all of a few minutes.  If I really didn't like the song there are plenty of things I could do.    As it turns out when it comes to OUR guest list those songs do pack and keep the guests on the dance floor.   The 80 years olds were having a blast.     Worth it in my opinion.

I can't imagining leaving a wedding over a song. I might roll my eyes, but not leave.  If I don't like a certain song I hit up the bathroom, bar, maybe go outside for fresh air.  NBD.

Jen4948

EricaCat1 said:

Jen4948 said:

Have a "do not play" list incorporated into your contract with your DJ, as well as a clause stating no requests.

The only problem with the clause is that it seems to punish "behaving guests" who might request really beautiful songs.  =\

Whether or not a song is "really beautiful" is subjective.  Also, a song might be "really beautiful" but still not be appropriate for a wedding.  I think it's safer to just have no requests.  No one is entitled to request songs at a wedding other than the couple and whoever's paying, so I don't think anyone is being "punished" by not getting to make requests.

carliealissa

lyndausvi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lyndausvi said:

I think the only song on the do not play list was Macerana.  I hate that damn song.  I think we said no hard-core rap and watch the language. 

  I had most of the other line dance songs on the only by request only.   Which most were request, which was fine by us.   I couldn't imagine telling my 70 year Aunt she can't hear her favorite YMCA   The song lasted all of 3 minutes. Not something I cared to micro-manage.   As it turned out it packed the floor.   10 year old to 84 years olds were out there.     Pretty cute pictures as a result.  

If a song came on that I wasn't thrilled about I hit up the bathroom or the bar or a table to talk to guests.  NBD to us.

That all said, our DJ rocked.  We had a wide range of guests and he hit mark to keep everyone of all ages on the dance floor.  Heck, they were dancing between food courses.

Oh snap!  That's a very good idea- thanks :-)

As long as it wasn't vulgar I just didn't see the point in mirco-managing ever little song.  The wedding is about the guests and I certainly can deal with Shout or YMCA or any other song our guests requested in moderation.

They last all of a few minutes.  If I really didn't like the song there are plenty of things I could do.    As it turns out when it comes to OUR guest list those songs do pack and keep the guests on the dance floor.   The 80 years olds were having a blast.     Worth it in my opinion.

I can't imagining leaving a wedding over a song. I might roll my eyes, but not leave.  If I don't like a certain song I hit up the bathroom, bar, maybe go outside for fresh air.  NBD.

I needed this POV; thanks  

@PrincessofHavoc, you left a reception because they played Blurred Lines?  What?

 

donethat

The DJ isn't a juke box, and a wedding reception is not the time to play "stump (or trick) the DJ".  Hire someone you trust, and don't keep any secrets from the pro you do hire (let them know if you really can't handle group dances, for example, or if you really want to keep it fun yet classy!)  

Everyone here who commented on NBD for a 3 minute song is right on.

EricaCat1

Well, this fellow is the type who could seriously sell an Eskimo an ice block. Lol! It's so funny the different responses I've gotten from people I've told this story to, from this one lady saying "The deejay should have known better" to this one guy saying (about the USNA men) "Sounds like some people need to get a sense of humor."

I'm actually starting to appreciate that he requested Tom Green's "The Bum Bum Song" (NOT "Back That Thang Up" though, as that was going too far.  But that wedding was too damn perfect and "The Bum Bum Song" took it down a peg.  Lol.

PrincessOfHavoc

Yes. Blurred Lines is so graphically inappropriate, we left. It's not something I can not hear. I can blank out The Thong Song.

Blurred Lines is rape culture 101 and isn't even trying to be discrete. That line being blurred is how judges find a 31 day sentence for rape as acceptable. That line being blurred goes back to victim blaming. That song pushes all of those lines and goes further.

The blasted MTV cluster wasn't offensive to me from the lack of clothing or ass shaking. We've seen Howard Stern's pasty flabby white ass and worse. It was offensive because of that song.

PrettyGirlLost

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Yes. Blurred Lines is so graphically inappropriate, we left. It's not something I can not hear. I can blank out The Thong Song.

Blurred Lines is rape culture 101 and isn't even trying to be discrete. That line being blurred is how judges find a 31 day sentence for rape as acceptable. That line being blurred goes back to victim blaming. That song pushes all of those lines and goes further.

The blasted MTV cluster wasn't offensive to me from the lack of clothing or ass shaking. We've seen Howard Stern's pasty flabby white ass and worse. It was offensive because of that song.

Huh? I don't interpret any of that song as being about rape.

jdluvr06

PrettyGirlLost said:

Yes. Blurred Lines is so graphically inappropriate, we left. It's not something I can not hear. I can blank out The Thong Song. Blurred Lines is rape culture 101 and isn't even trying to be discrete. That line being blurred is how judges find a 31 day sentence for rape as acceptable. That line being blurred goes back to victim blaming. That song pushes all of those lines and goes further. The blasted MTV cluster wasn't offensive to me from the lack of clothing or ass shaking. We've seen Howard Stern's pasty flabby white ass and worse. It was offensive because of that song.

Huh? I don't interpret any of that song as being about rape.

Neither did I.

We solved the dj thing. We got a laptop and itunes and are making our own playlist. I've participated (and I think I started a thread) about inappropriate wedding songs because it is entertaining but really as long as the song doesn't repeatedly drop the f bomb or something like that I don't think it is a big deal what songs play. I'll one big thing is we don't want any country music. 

PrincessOfHavoc

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robinthicke/blurredlines.html

Since half the lyrics are unintelligible, here they are. Given as half the understandable lyrics are repeatedly "I know you want it", it's pretty clearly rape culture 101 to me. But I'm far from the only one.

http://m.policymic.com/articles/56069/a-feminist-takedown-of-robin-thicke-and-anyone-who-thinks-there-s-something-blurry-about-sexism

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/09/17/from-the-mouths-of-rapists-the-lyrics-of-robin-thickes-blurred-lines-and-real-life-rape/

PrettyGirlLost

PrincessOfHavoc said:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robinthicke/blurredlines.html

Since half the lyrics are unintelligible, here they are. Given as half the understandable lyrics are repeatedly "I know you want it", it's pretty clearly rape culture 101 to me. But I'm far from the only one.

http://m.policymic.com/articles/56069/a-feminist-takedown-of-robin-thicke-and-anyone-who-thinks-there-s-something-blurry-about-sexism

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/09/17/from-the-mouths-of-rapists-the-lyrics-of-robin-thickes-blurred-lines-and-real-life-rape/

I know what the lyrics are, but I don't interpret them as having anything to do with rape because of that line or any other.

banana468

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robinthicke/blurredlines.html

Since half the lyrics are unintelligible, here they are. Given as half the understandable lyrics are repeatedly "I know you want it", it's pretty clearly rape culture 101 to me. But I'm far from the only one.

http://m.policymic.com/articles/56069/a-feminist-takedown-of-robin-thicke-and-anyone-who-thinks-there-s-something-blurry-about-sexism

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/09/17/from-the-mouths-of-rapists-the-lyrics-of-robin-thickes-blurred-lines-and-real-life-rape/

I know what the lyrics are, but I don't interpret them as having anything to do with rape because of that line or any other.

I think we can be too quick to jump to conclusions with those lyrics or any song. I never thought it was about rape. It's a song he wrote for his wife because she's a good girl but she likes dirty sex. It's pretty clear that there is mutually aggressive behavior by both people.