Wisconsin

Divorced parents seating arrangement?

My parents have been separated and then divorced since I was about 12. My dad has been with his current girlfriend going on 9 years, and my mother with her (long-distance) boyfriend for about a year. My mom is still kind of bitter about my dad's happiness and how things worked out a little "better" for him after the divorced than it did for her. But they are still polite and cordial and on decent enough speaking terms.

For the ceremony and seated dinner we are only inviting very close friends, and then immediately family. During the dance reception we are extending the invite to everybody else.

My question is do I seat my dad with his girlfriend at the same table with my mom and her boyfriend? Or would it be more politically correct to seat them at separate tables? I just don't know if it would look weird having them sit separately since they do get along. Any opinions??

Re: Divorced parents seating arrangement?

  • Lyra1020Lyra1020
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    My parents have also been divorced for many years, and are either dating or married. I am NOT seating them together. It would be awkward for them, and honestly, awkward for me every time I looked over at the table. I'll seat my mom and her boyfriend with either her friends or his family. I'll seat my dad and his wife with his friends or family.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Divorced parents seating arrangement?:
    My parents have been separated and then divorced since I was about 12. My dad has been with his current girlfriend going on 9 years, and my mother with her (long-distance) boyfriend for about a year. My mom is still kind of bitter about my dad's happiness and how things worked out a little "better" for him after the divorced than it did for her. But they are still polite and cordial and on decent enough speaking terms. For the ceremony and seated dinner we are only inviting very close friends, and then immediately family. During the dance reception we are extending the invite to everybody else. My question is do I seat my dad with his girlfriend at the same table with my mom and her boyfriend? Or would it be more politically correct to seat them at separate tables? I just don't know if it would look weird having them sit separately since they do get along. Any opinions??
    Posted by Rcampbell1023
    First, to answer your question - either way would be fine.  You can either seat them together with grandparents from both sides, or seat them separately with their own families. 

    Now, to the part in bold...  That's called a tiered ceremony is considered pretty rude. Not sure if you already sent the invitations, but if you haven't please rethink doing this. 
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  • jberg134jberg134
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I would ask your parents what they feel comfortable with. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Both my parents and FI's are divorced and have spouses. So we came up with doing a Dad's table and a Mom's table. This works well for us especially since FI has three kids that I know will spend all their time by my mom and his so we will keep them all together. And then we will have grandparents and aunts and uncles together at tables near those. My family is all good about just going with the flow and they'll all move around later anyways.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Divorced parents seating arrangement?:
    In Response to Divorced parents seating arrangement? : First, to answer your question - either way would be fine.  You can either seat them together with grandparents from both sides, or seat them separately with their own families.  Now, to the part in bold...  That's called a tiered ceremony is considered pretty rude. Not sure if you already sent the invitations, but if you haven't please rethink doing this. 
    Posted by Wiscisbliss
    Well considering the extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) are not paying for the ceremony then we need to do what is within our budget. We are not close to any of our extended family but still want them to be a part of our day. Plus my fiance's family alone would have over 200 people.  We are doing what our venue can hold and it's what we can afford to do. Sorry, but we want the people that we see on a daily basis and that haveactually been a part of our relationship over the past almost 10 years to be close to us for the more intimate part of the ceremony. Sorry if that offends you, but it's what we're doing.
  • NicnJen01NicnJen01
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I don't have anything to say about the tiered ceremony stuff, but my parents are together and FI's are split and haven't seen each other since.

    I originaly planned on 3 "primary" tables, My Folks, Grandparents & God Parents front and center, His Mom & Step Dad, their kids, her mom and his godmother, and his dad's side would be similar.  his daughter would sit with one of the two.

    Then FI called me today and said that his mother is dead to him (she really is a piece of work)  She's doing everything to ostracize herself from us and honestly, I feel bad and want her there and to be a Mom, but if what we're getting is a materialistic teenager who needs the world around her and is mad because we're inviting his dad (who wasn't always there but has stepped up TREMENDOUSLY the past 2 years- helps that FI started to let him back in) i'd rather her not be there if she can't be supportive.
  • edited December 2011
    I appreciate everybody's input. It's definitely not an easy thing to figure out.
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