Military Brides

XP--Fallen Soldier Table at Wedding

I thought all of my lurking had paid off (so far it has!) until my fiance threw me for a loop today.  We are getting married in July, and just sent out invitations.  We have a while before the seating chart has to be done, but we started planning out the room, and where we wanted to put things like the card box, cake, sparklers, etc.  We plan on having a sweetheart table.

As we started to put the room together, my fiance pointed to a corner of the room and said that would be a good place to put the fallen soldier table.  It would be in the corner of the reception room, directly to the right right of our sweetheart table if you are looking at the table.  I've never seen one before at a wedding, but I have seen them at other reception-like occasions.  

My fiance is currently active duty Air Force who served two tours in Iraq with the Army before he changed branches and went into the Air Force.  While he was deployed, his best friend was killed while they were under attack, and he wanted to honor him at the ceremony.  I think the idea is beautiful, and he wanted to keep a sign on the table that explains what the table symbolizes.  


My question is, is this appropriate?  The research I've found says it can be done at weddings, but I wanted to get some input.  Will people see it as inappropriate?
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Re: XP--Fallen Soldier Table at Wedding

  • It's your wedding, he wants to honor his friend and it's clearly important to him. Who cares if other people think it's inappropriate?
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • WeeshWeesh NY
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    I care more if people are upset or saddened by it. However, my fiance feels pretty strongly about having it.
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  • People may be saddened by it. That table can be an emotional thing for a lot of people, especially those who have served and seen the worst of war happen to their "brothers". That being said, I don't think it's a reason not to have it at your wedding. A wedding is an emotional thing and it's a place where people think about those who are missing. How different is it from a bride like my cousin who chose to play a song to honor her father who couldn't be with us. The table has it's place. It should be about what it means to you and your husband, not about if the guests get weepy. It is important to your husband. It was important to both my husband and I that we had that table at our vow renewal and no one said a negative word about it. It honors the service of those who have gone before us and, typically, people can respect that.
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  • It's appropriate.  Consider all the weddings that have a memorial table or chair for Grandma or who ever that passed away.  


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    kmmssg
  • It's appropriate.  Consider all the weddings that have a memorial table or chair for Grandma or who ever that passed away.  

    THANK YOU!  People on the E Board don't get it and ate this idea all up (well, except for PDHK).
  • All of us are used to it because we've all been to military balls. I think they've just never seen it and have no idea how understated it actually is. 
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    iluvmytxrgr
  • WeeshWeesh NY
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    Ladies, thank you both.  I'm sorry I didn't check this sooner.  I did post on the E-board, and I don't know if I was clear enough about where the table will be.  I think they were under the impression that it will be right in front of our sweetheart table, when it will really be more towards the right and in the corner.  

    I think we're leaning towards doing it, and it means a lot to my fiance.  He lost one of his closest friends overseas, and I know he wants to honor him with this.  We aren't doing programs where we could honor his friend.  

    Thank you again!
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    kmmssgiluvmytxrgr
  • Good luck!
  • What an amazing idea.  Now I have to tell our venue I want this done if my FI says he is ok with it.
  • Were doing a variation of the table for loved ones gone.. weddings make you remember whos here and who's gone. 
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