Engagement Ring...

bethsmiles

I think you need to talk to your SO about this. It's great that you are close with your parents and consult them for big decisions, but it's not fair that your SO has been left out completely in this conversation.

[Deleted User]

@lilacck28 -it's actually an oval, but the placement of the prongs make it look more like a marquis sometimes!

lennonkdc

OP, I agree with the PP that if you are old enough to get married you are old enough to not need your parents approval, but that as an adult you should dig a bit deeper to see why they are concerned. It could just be that they are one of many who have been brainwashed to believe that that your BF has to buy the ring as a symbol of his love and ability to be a good bread winner. 

FWIW, FI and I used an 'heirloom' diamond, from a ring my Dad gave my Mom on their 15th wedding anniversary.My mom and dad are still alive, but my mom never wears the ring and they were kind enough to gift the ring to me early, so that FI could use it.  

loves2shop4shoes

OP, I'm late to this, but as PPs have said:

1.  It's your ring that YOU inherited.  If you want to use that ring, or any part of that ring to create jewelry that is meaningful to you, that is your right, and it shouldn't matter what your parents think about it.

2.  Involving your parents in the selection/design/etc. of your engagement ring is probably unwise.  People have very specific ideas of what is "acceptable" when it comes to e-rings.  Many people think anything other than diamonds are not "real" e-rings.  I know people who would NEVER get a diamond e-ring because "everyone has them".  I know people who think anything less than 1ct is cheap.  I know people who think anything over 1.5 ct is "tacky because it looks fake."  My point is that what really matters here is what you and your BF like and feel comfortable with.  Involving too many other opinions will leave your head spinning.

phira

loves2shop4shoes said:

OP, I'm late to this, but as PPs have said:

1.  It's your ring that YOU inherited.  If you want to use that ring, or any part of that ring to create jewelry that is meaningful to you, that is your right, and it shouldn't matter what your parents think about it.

2.  Involving your parents in the selection/design/etc. of your engagement ring is probably unwise.  People have very specific ideas of what is "acceptable" when it comes to e-rings.  Many people think anything other than diamonds are not "real" e-rings.  I know people who would NEVER get a diamond e-ring because "everyone has them".  I know people who think anything less than 1ct is cheap.  I know people who think anything over 1.5 ct is "tacky because it looks fake."  My point is that what really matters here is what you and your BF like and feel comfortable with.  Involving too many other opinions will leave your head spinning.

REALLY good point here. There is no universal standard for "tacky" and "not tacky." While there's nothing wrong with asking for other people's opinions (and, in fact, we do it allllll the time here), when it comes to matters of personal taste, like an engagement ring, your opinion and your partner's opinion are the only ones that matter.

thejucheidea

My engagement ring is my Grandma's. Well, the diamonds and design are -- we got it re-set in white gold because I don't like yellow gold. Here's a before and after:

And husband spent like $650 on my ring instead of like $3500-$4000. Considering our honeymoon was less than $5000 for two weeks in Norway, Sweden and Iceland, I'd say money well saved.

kaitlynmichelle

FI paid for my setting - the side diamonds in the band and the sapphires. He was given the main diamond by his family to use. Saved him a lot of money as it isn't huge but of higher quality.

No regrets.

sandbagger18

I think it is a great option! We considered using family diamonds, but his grandfather wasn't as kind just to give them to us, he was going to make us pay way more than we would otherwise. Lots of people just use the stones from an inherited ring. Honestly, this is the best way to do it. Just talk to him and let him know that this is something that you want to do. If he isn't on the same page, just work with it. It truly is a gift from him.

I also understand the frustrations that come with being a young bride. I am getting married at the age of 20. My FI is 21, but we've both been working full time for a while now. We're actually still getting married before our senior year in college. Money is tight. A ring is something that you will have forever. You don't want to regret your decision, but as long as you love the stone and setting that you choose, it is so worth it. $3000 can go a long way. That can save you a lot of stress.