Bridesmaid allergy! Help!

MsNise812

Hi all,

I wanted to know what you would suggest for bridesmaids' jewelry. My girls are wearing a dark plum long chiffon dress with a sweetheart neckline and will most likely have their hair down. It kind of a rustic/woodsy style and the wedding colors are plum, burnt orange and light peach. I have one bridesmaid who is allergic to fake/jewelry and told me she breaks out in hives if she wears a fake necklace. I am not going to make it a big deal if she can't wear what the rest of the girls are wearing as far as jewelry and told her she can wear whatever she already has if anything. She is upset because she does not want to ruin the pictures by not having the same stuff on but I don't really care. Last thing I want is for her to have an allergic reaction!

I just want to get suggestions or see if anyone has also had someone who can't wear certain metals and what alternative was used. Thanks all!  

Maggie0829

No one is going to notice your BMs jewelry.  And unless you get a bunch of super up close pictures of your BMs you really won't see the jewelry in pictures either.  I would just let all your BMs choose their own jewelry.  Upside?  One less thing for you to worry about.

VulgarGirl

Just let all the girls where what jewelry they want. No need for it be matchy matchy, and I'm sure they're capable of figuring something out that will work with their dresses. Also if it is a specific metal she's allergic to (I don't understand what she means by fake. Fake what?) she can try putting some clear nail polish on the part that will touch her skin. I'm horribly allergic to nickle but the nail polish trick has worked a few times for me.

manateehugger

Yep, I'd just scrap all the jewelry. No one will care about it, in photos or in person. 

Viczaesar

MsNise812 said:

Hi all,

I wanted to know what you would suggest for bridesmaids' jewelry. My girls are wearing a dark plum long chiffon dress with a sweetheart neckline and will most likely have their hair down. It kind of a rustic/woodsy style and the wedding colors are plum, burnt orange and light peach. I have one bridesmaid who is allergic to fake/jewelry and told me she breaks out in hives if she wears a fake necklace. I am not going to make it a big deal if she can't wear what the rest of the girls are wearing as far as jewelry and told her she can wear whatever she already has if anything. She is upset because she does not want to ruin the pictures by not having the same stuff on but I don't really care. Last thing I want is for her to have an allergic reaction!

I just want to get suggestions or see if anyone has also had someone who can't wear certain metals and what alternative was used. Thanks all!  

Easy solution - have ALL of your bridesmaids wear whatever jewelry they want. 

[Deleted User]

I agree, if you tell all the girls to wear something they already owns that would go with the dress then problem solve. You can easily just say, I want you to wear something you already own because you are all different and so why shouldn't your accessories be different from each other. The jewelry will be an easy way for each girl to show a bit of their own personality & style. Hopefully this will help your BM feel better too

Gizmo813

I'm planning on getting my BM's jewelry, but have already told them (and will remind them) that they can wear whatever they like. They don't have to wear what I give them. I found some pretty stuff on Etsy that I can personalize in their favorite colors. 

My mother thinks it will look strange if they don't have the same jewelry, because they're all wearing the same dress. She also said that if I let them pick their own jewelry, they might show up in something outlandish and gaudy. "I know [my cousin] won't wear something crazy, but I don't know about the other girls." (This was slightly insulting to me.) 

My mother is crazy. 

hyechica81

have them wear whatever they want. i cant wear anything around my neck even pure gold i break out and my chest starts to swell. i have so much going on with the top of my wedding dress and the jacket cap sleeves and my veil that i wont be wearing any thing on my neck

lyndausvi

Have them what they want. That was she is not singled out. I let my BM pick out their own hair, jewelry and shoes. As far as I know my guests didn't line up all my BM to make sure everything matched. I doubt the magnified the photos to check either.

atlastmrsg

Scrap the necklaces and get them a nice pair of earrings. I was in a wedding where I rec'd nice pearl studs. I still wear them often.

Dignity100

I'm guessing it's a nickel allergy, you would have to confirm with her (it's the most common and I am on the lucky side of this wonderful allergy too <<sarcasm>>).  If you INSIST on getting them jewelry, I would ask her if it is nickel allergy or if she knows for sure what it is and then look for nickel free.  The best advice has already been given though - let your BMs wear their own jewelry.

lyndausvi

SAHoehle said:

Scrap the necklaces and get them a nice pair of earrings. I was in a wedding where I rec'd nice pearl studs. I still wear them often.

I'm going to be a Debbie downer here, but I can only wear really  nice earrings with 18k gold posts.  Anything else I'm in pain within minutes.   I can wear any type of necklace or bracelets though.

Since there is a known allergy I say scrap matching jewelry altogether.   

Maggie0829

SAHoehle said:

Scrap the necklaces and get them a nice pair of earrings. I was in a wedding where I rec'd nice pearl studs. I still wear them often.

What about people who don't have pierced ears? If I was given a pair of earrings they would be shoved to the back of my jewelry case or donated to good will because without holes in my earlobes they won't be of much use.

Dignity100

Maggie0829 said:

SAHoehle said:

Scrap the necklaces and get them a nice pair of earrings. I was in a wedding where I rec'd nice pearl studs. I still wear them often.

What about people who don't have pierced ears? If I was given a pair of earrings they would be shoved to the back of my jewelry case or donated to good will because without holes in my earlobes they won't be of much use.

This is me as well!!  I don't have my ears pierced due to my metal allergy, it was just easier to let the holes close up and not look back.

kitty8403

I have a genetic metal allergy and have to be extremely careful about all jewelry. You have three options: Ask HER what is/is not safe for her and purchase that (possibly gold in various amounts, niobium, titanium, maybe something beaded where no metal will directly touch skin). Sterling is iffy, for example, and depends on the individual. Copper is likely a no-go. DO NOT buy cheap stuff marked "hypoallergenic"--it does not mean that is safe for her. (Edit): if she says something like "24kt gold," for example, she means it! Don't try giving her a 10kt chain.

Your other options: let her bring her own jewelry, or skip jewelry for her and get her a completely different gift. :-) she'll understand, believe me!

kitty8403

MagicInk said:

Just let all the girls where what jewelry they want. No need for it be matchy matchy, and I'm sure they're capable of figuring something out that will work with their dresses.

Also if it is a specific metal she's allergic to (I don't understand what she means by fake. Fake what?) she can try putting some clear nail polish on the part that will touch her skin. I'm horribly allergic to nickle but the nail polish trick has worked a few times for me.

I'm betting she meant no costume jewelry and was trying to warn the OP away from base metals or "cheap stuff" like you'd find at the mall or department store. :-)

Nail polish and whether or not it helps much depends a lot on the person and the piece. Without seeing the jewelry OP has in mind, it's tough to say. I wouldn't risk it, honestly. It sounds kinda rude to me to say "here's your present, it might make you break out, but you can paint it with polish, right?"

Latillo

I'm with everyone else in saying forget the jewelry. Any wedding I have ever been in we all picked our own shoes/jewelry. I like everyone to look different and express their own personalities. Everyone wants to make their BM's identical, what's the fun in that?? You love them because of their personality so why not let that shine??

Also, your friend being allergic is a huge issue. You definitely don't want her to be uncomfortable or in pain. That's more important than everyone matching. I'd say Sorry Mom! It's your wedding afterall..

MW5280

Gizmo813 said:

I'm planning on getting my BM's jewelry, but have already told them (and will remind them) that they can wear whatever they like. They don't have to wear what I give them. I found some pretty stuff on Etsy that I can personalize in their favorite colors. 

My mother thinks it will look strange if they don't have the same jewelry, because they're all wearing the same dress. She also said that if I let them pick their own jewelry, they might show up in something outlandish and gaudy. "I know [my cousin] won't wear something crazy, but I don't know about the other girls." (This was slightly insulting to me.) 

My mother is crazy. 

If there is anything I have learned during the wedding planning process, it's that my mom worries over things I never considered. 

- Table Runners: "They just aren't shiny enough." (It's a brunch wedding in the mountains of Colorado. "Shine" isn't really a thing up there...)

- Cake: "Are you sure you don't want a cake? Are desserts going to be enough? Should they really be the centerpiece on the table?" (Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Dessert & Centerpiece. And no one has to wait for dessert.)

- No best man: "Does FI really only want the kids up there? Who will make the speech?" (No one wants to listen to a bunch of speeches anyway. They want to be fed. They want a nice drink. They want to take embarrassing selfies with their phones.)

...I haven't considered any of these things to be an issue.

selenathegreat

While I agree with PPs above that it's def fine for necklaces not to match and/or for them to wear their own, if it's a metal allergy (me too, sigh) there ARE super cute totally non-metal necklaces. Ideas:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/72223477/carrie-necklace-silver-pearl-ribbon

https://www.etsy.com/listing/157596343/neon-coral-statement-necklace-fabric

https://www.etsy.com/listing/187556159/peach-necklace-peachy-necklace-seed-bead

https://www.etsy.com/listing/157162187/lavender-floating-illusion-bib-collar

kitty8403

selenathegreat said:

While I agree with PPs above that it's def fine for necklaces not to match and/or for them to wear their own, if it's a metal allergy (me too, sigh) there ARE super cute totally non-metal necklaces. Ideas:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/72223477/carrie-necklace-silver-pearl-ribbon

https://www.etsy.com/listing/157596343/neon-coral-statement-necklace-fabric

https://www.etsy.com/listing/187556159/peach-necklace-peachy-necklace-seed-bead

https://www.etsy.com/listing/157162187/lavender-floating-illusion-bib-collar

----SIB---
Exactly. My brother has bought me little beaded stretch bracelets for years. I know they probably only cost him a dollar or two, but he's made a point to purchase what he knows is safe.
There's really no reason you couldn't buy something with no metal content or with a safe clasp if you want to give jewelry. It just means you need to put more thought into the purchase.

MsNise812

Thanks for all the responses!!

I agree with you guys as far as not having her wear any jewelry or use what she has. She doesn't know exactly what she is allergic to but just told me anything that is not gold she breaks out in. She initially told me she would carry cortisone with her because she breaks out in hives and I told her that I would not have her being uncomfortable at all. I think it would be a good idea to have them use whatever they already have (they are choosing their own hairstyles and shoes) but the other bridesmaids have been looking at jewelry they may want to wear. Which is fine, but i will not force her to wear something that will make her uncomfortable just to be in uniform with the other girls. I understand she may not want to be the only one without jewelry, but like you all said, it really isn't a big deal.

Thanks again guys!

MsNise812

 

MsNise812

 

MW5280 said:

Gizmo813 said:

I'm planning on getting my BM's jewelry, but have already told them (and will remind them) that they can wear whatever they like. They don't have to wear what I give them. I found some pretty stuff on Etsy that I can personalize in their favorite colors. 

My mother thinks it will look strange if they don't have the same jewelry, because they're all wearing the same dress. She also said that if I let them pick their own jewelry, they might show up in something outlandish and gaudy. "I know [my cousin] won't wear something crazy, but I don't know about the other girls." (This was slightly insulting to me.) 

My mother is crazy. 

If there is anything I have learned during the wedding planning process, it's that my mom worries over things I never considered. 

- Table Runners: "They just aren't shiny enough." (It's a brunch wedding in the mountains of Colorado. "Shine" isn't really a thing up there...)

- Cake: "Are you sure you don't want a cake? Are desserts going to be enough? Should they really be the centerpiece on the table?" (Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Dessert & Centerpiece. And no one has to wait for dessert.)

- No best man: "Does FI really only want the kids up there? Who will make the speech?" (No one wants to listen to a bunch of speeches anyway. They want to be fed. They want a nice drink. They want to take embarrassing selfies with their phones.)

...I haven't considered any of these things to be an issue.

 

 

Ha! I have a mother-in-law who is worrying about the tiniest details and things I wouldn't even think is necessary. She also wants to spend money on things that I rather skip on. I am trying to remain practical and realistic and she is here trying to convince me that I definitely will need the $200 champagne flutes for future anniversaries. I don't even drink champagne -.-.

MW5280

Yep.

My FMIL is being super great and just saying "whatever you want to do, honey!" I need her to rub off on my mom...

PrincessOfHavoc

Most likely a nickel reaction if gold is usually safe. It's not fun, watch out on any zippers on the dresses or hooks.

The ribbon and pearl necklace above is really lovely, and sounds good with your dresses if you want matching.

kitty8403

MsNise812 said:

Thanks for all the responses!!

I agree with you guys as far as not having her wear any jewelry or use what she has. She doesn't know exactly what she is allergic to but just told me anything that is not gold she breaks out in. She initially told me she would carry cortisone with her because she breaks out in hives and I told her that I would not have her being uncomfortable at all. I think it would be a good idea to have them use whatever they already have (they are choosing their own hairstyles and shoes) but the other bridesmaids have been looking at jewelry they may want to wear. Which is fine, but i will not force her to wear something that will make her uncomfortable just to be in uniform with the other girls. I understand she may not want to be the only one without jewelry, but like you all said, it really isn't a big deal.

Thanks again guys!

Why can't she jewelry shop too? There are lots of inexpensive beaded and ribbon options, and gold isn't exactly hard to find. There's no reason to exclude her. If you want matching, pick something safe, or pick different things that complement one another. Otherwise, just let her figure it out.

MsNise812

kitty8403 said:

Thanks for all the responses!!

I agree with you guys as far as not having her wear any jewelry or use what she has. She doesn't know exactly what she is allergic to but just told me anything that is not gold she breaks out in. She initially told me she would carry cortisone with her because she breaks out in hives and I told her that I would not have her being uncomfortable at all. I think it would be a good idea to have them use whatever they already have (they are choosing their own hairstyles and shoes) but the other bridesmaids have been looking at jewelry they may want to wear. Which is fine, but i will not force her to wear something that will make her uncomfortable just to be in uniform with the other girls. I understand she may not want to be the only one without jewelry, but like you all said, it really isn't a big deal.

Thanks again guys!

Why can't she jewelry shop too? There are lots of inexpensive beaded and ribbon options, and gold isn't exactly hard to find. There's no reason to exclude her. If you want matching, pick something safe, or pick different things that complement one another. Otherwise, just let her figure it out.

 

 

She is more than welcomed to shop for jewelry or use what she has. I have no intention on excluding her which is why I am trying to make it easier for her to choose whatever she would like. And I said before, I don't care for them to have matching jewelry. They can look at whatever they want and choose what they want to wear. I just simply asked because she was the one worried about the jewelry and got suggestions that I've relayed to her and the rest of the girls