My sister's getting married! MOH suggestions and advice?

SachaBee

My older sister and her fiance have set a date!!! It is just under a year from now. I could not be more excited!! When I found out I was walking around all day with this dopey idiotic smile on my face. I am definitely more excited for their wedding than for my own.

So, our little sister and I will be the two MOHs/bridesmaids (she is not singling one of us out, but I'm not sure yet what we'll be 'officially' called, not that it matters).
And I know that the only official duties, per etiquette, are to buy a dress and smile for the photos and stand with her. And along those lines, I appreciate completely the regulars on these boards fighting the good fight to treat your friends like they are friends, not unpaid wedding labourers.

BUT, I actually AM excited to participate in this wedding. So with that in mind, I wanted to ask brides on here: what was the most helpful thing a bridesmaid or MOH did for you or for your wedding? What is the most important thing to keep in mind? What do you remember most about the wedding party's involvement? Oh, and what stupid things should I avoid doing? (I hope I don't do anything stupid; basically this would just be a good excuse to post hilarious horror stories.)

Thank you for any help!

OliveOilsMom

SachaBee said:

My older sister and her fiance have set a date!!! It is just under a year from now. I could not be more excited!! When I found out I was walking around all day with this dopey idiotic smile on my face. I am definitely more excited for their wedding than for my own.

So, our little sister and I will be the two MOHs/bridesmaids (she is not singling one of us out, but I'm not sure yet what we'll be 'officially' called, not that it matters).
And I know that the only official duties, per etiquette, are to buy a dress and smile for the photos and stand with her. And along those lines, I appreciate completely the regulars on these boards fighting the good fight to treat your friends like they are friends, not unpaid wedding labourers.

BUT, I actually AM excited to participate in this wedding. So with that in mind, I wanted to ask brides on here: what was the most helpful thing a bridesmaid or MOH did for you or for your wedding? What is the most important thing to keep in mind? What do you remember most about the wedding party's involvement? Oh, and what stupid things should I avoid doing? (I hope I don't do anything stupid; basically this would just be a good excuse to post hilarious horror stories.)

Thank you for any help!

Since you want to help, then offer your sister your services.  Tell her that you would be excited to help her with crafts, stuff invitations, etc.  Then you put the ball back in her court to take you up on the offer.

Plan any pre-wedding parties that you want to.  There really is no right and wrong answer here.  You want to help, which is great!  My BMs threw me an awesome shower and b-party that kept me in mind.  Each party was "me".  So keep that in mind when planning stuff for your sister.

SachaBee

Thank you for your response!
Am I "allowed" to throw a shower since I am her sister?

Bubblegum5586

My MOH was my younger sister and she was amazing. She was just always there to talk and help with ideas and just share my general excitement. She did help with crafts and dress shopping too. And she threw me an AMAZING shower and an AMAZING bachelorette that were both so unique and special to me. She was about 7-8 years younger then myself and my other BMs, so she was a little nervous about doing every thing "right" (her words not mine!) so she asked my mom and BMs for help, and they were all amazing too.

Your sister is lucky to have such a great sister that obviously cares and loves her very much! Just continue being the great sister you are!

climbingsingle

My MOH has been my best friend for more than 20 years so I trust her opinion 100%. She'll be honest with me and tell me if something looks good. She came dress shopping with me - that was a huge help. And the same day we went shopping for a dress for her, she helped me pick out shoes. 

I didn't ask for any parties, but she's planning a bach weekend for me with our closest friends and I'm really excited to see everyone. She really went above and beyone - rented us a gorgeous house in the Finger Lakes and was able to organize 13 ladies. That's in a feat right there! 

[Deleted User]

Yes, you're "allowed" to throw her a shower.  The tradition of family not being allowed to throw showers was when family might be thought to "benefit" from all the gifts showered on the bride (as in, if someone gives the bride china then the mom doesn't have to pass down her china, I think).  So, yes, throw her a shower, throw her a bachelorette day, listen when she complains about all the decisions she has to make.  Sounds like this is an exciting time for your family.  Weeeee!

SachaBee

Thank you everyone for the ideas! I'm looking forward to following this advice.

moh1391

Hello! I hope it is okay to add to this discussion board, but I have a question and based on your answers I feel like this is the group to ask!! My best friend just asked me to be her Maid of Honor a few days ago! Of course I am super super excited! I don't know yet what she expects of me exactly. So, my question is when should I ask her what she expects of me? The wedding isn't until July 2015 and I don't want to overwhelm her asking her. When should I ask her what she wants me to do? Or should I just let it happen as it goes?

 

 

I should add. Both the bride and I are SUPER organized people and like to have things in order and planned out. But, everything is still really new. She doesn't even have an official date/venue set. A hold on a venue was put down, but no official deposits yet.

msuprincess04

moh1391 said:

Hello! I hope it is okay to add to this discussion board, but I have a question and based on your answers I feel like this is the group to ask!! My best friend just asked me to be her Maid of Honor a few days ago! Of course I am super super excited! I don't know yet what she expects of me exactly. So, my question is when should I ask her what she expects of me? The wedding isn't until July 2015 and I don't want to overwhelm her asking her. When should I ask her what she wants me to do? Or should I just let it happen as it goes?

I should add. Both the bride and I are SUPER organized people and like to have things in order and planned out. But, everything is still really new. She doesn't even have an official date/venue set. A hold on a venue was put down, but no official deposits yet.

I wouldn't use the word "expect", but ask her if there's anything she'd like leading up to the wedding. As for when, you can ask her now to get an idea if shower/bach parties are things she's interested in. But I wouldn't do any planning until late next year.